Doing this with your phone can save your relationship, says a new study
A major breakthrough comes to meet you.
There is a lot of mixed advice when it comes to the way your phone should be involved in your relationship. Some experts say that it is better for you and your partner to have time to connect technology without, while others say that mobile phones are a precious tool forCommunication soliliation And stay in contact throughout the day. If you are in a relationship, you have probably developed your own methods of using your phone to connect with your partner, whether it is a phone call at lunchtime or an SMS before to leave the office. But according to a new study, there is an unexpected phone habit that could really save your relationship. Read the rest to find out what the results say and get the therapists' reactions to this recommendation.
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A new study has revealed that SMS can improve your relationship.
Arecent study Posted in the journalNew media and societyI looked at the way in which generation X (those born between 1965-1980) led their relationships by text (or, in the case of the study, WhatsApp, because it was directed in Israel). The researchers have found that the way this group supports digitally reflects their style of doing so in person, that this model is avoiding, emotional or rational.
"The correspondence on WhatsApp offers not only another place to lead the relationship, but alsoThis can also help save it, "The researchers said in a press release. They note that it offers" another place to fight and make up. "But why have one more place to release our frustrations a good thing? According to the therapists, arguing on the text presents several conflicts -the resolution tools whose couples would not benefit otherwise.
Therapists are suitable for arguing via text can be useful sometimes.
No, Rage Texting to your significant other, your consciousness current thoughts after a disagreement will never be productive. But there are times when you can use a text conversation to your advantage.
"This type of communication can allow people to have time to cool before responding, and it can also allow a more considered answer," explainsKetan Parmar,, MD, psychologist andMental Health Expert in ClinicSpots. "It can also be useful for people who find it difficult to express themselves in the heat of the moment." For these types of people, SMS allows them to collect their thoughts and communicate more effectively. In other words, they can say exactly what they need with the assurance that they can change their response as many times as they would like.
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Textos can help you work on major disagreements.
While many therapists with whom we have discussed noted that couples should avoid having major disagreements via text, they added that there were some exceptions.
"If people are in perpetual cycles of increased tension in the arguments, and often find themselves returning to crying, shouting, criticizing," saidChelsea Johnson, LMFT, a wedding and family therapist approved atWedding and family therapy horizons.
In this case, a text or a letter can be useful. "I encourage my patients to write all their thoughts practically that they want to share with a partner, then go back and modify everything that is" editorial "as names of names or emotionally loaded language", explains Johnson . Avoid "you" or blame the declarations to make sure that your correspondence is actually read as a test.
So when are SMS the most useful? "This can work best for disagreements to make a certain decision, financial subjects or any subject that seems very stuck," explains Johnson. "The nature of an exchange of back and forth text also encourages partners not to interrupt each other and to share their perspectives in turn." If you need help to use this strategy, make an appointment with a couples therapist.
Textos can also be used for small disagreements.
More daily, text can be used to solve low -risk problems and problems, saysKimber Shelton, PHD, approved psychologist and owner ofKLS consulting and consulting services. "For example, a texe partner:" Hey, it hurts my feelings today when you left and you did not say goodbye ", and the partner answers with:" Oh, sorry; I rushed to a meeting and I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I hope you have a good day, "the problem is solved," says Shelton. "Now, both parties can spend their day without bringing emotional weight from an involuntary light emotional."
You can use a similar strategy for small disagreements on household tasks, schedule changes, etc.
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However, it is not for each couple.
It is important to note that because everyone disputes differently, not all couples can use a text messaging method for their disagreements.AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"The resolution of conflicts on text messages would be best suited to couples who already have a strategy for resolving conflicts outside of text messaging", explainsKatie Borek, MSW, therapist atAligned counseling and therapy. "This includes couples that include styles of attachment from each other and are reactive and empathetic to any anxiety that can occur; also, couples that include the difference between minor conflicts and major conflicts will have great success in the Deciphery of appropriate conflicts for text messaging. "
Finally, you will also want to have healthy limits in place with regard to text communication. "This means that if a partner expresses his inability to participate in a text dialogue, the dialogue ends immediately and the couple can agree to read the problem later," said Borek. "The limits can also include subjects that are completely prohibited."
With these tips in mind, your phone can help you solve your differences in a healthy and controlled manner so that you can return to your usual messaging habits.
