6 questions to ask your partner who keep the spark alive, say the therapists

Knowing the answers to these questions can stimulate intimacy and understanding.


If you are in along -term relationship, you know it can be difficult to maintain this elusive "spark". When you met your partner for the first time, you have probably been in love with them, and there is nothing more exhilarating than the thrill of something new. But after spending several years with the same person, you must consciously tender the flame to keep your relationship or your marriage happy and healthy.

"It is not a secret for anyone that relationships can be difficult work, but there are ways to make them easier and one of them is to communicate with your partner", "Megan Harrison,,Couples candy lmft, recountBetter life. "Keeping the spark living in a relationship takes efforts from both partners, but it is worth it when you consider how happier you will be."

To do this, therapists recommend asking specific questions to your partner who demonstrate your commitment and dedication to your relationship, while actively listening to their answer. Read the rest for the six questions you should ask to keep the spark alive.

Read this then:5 questions that your partner asks that it means that they want to break, say the therapists.

1
"Do you need time" you "?"

older woman using tablet
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If you feel tensions in your relationship, you may just need time alone. It is not a drastic separation, but more therefore take the time to do what you appreciate individually,Colleen Wenner, LMHC, MCAP, LPC,founder and clinical director From New Heights Counselling & Consulting, LLC, said.

"As a couple, you spend a lot of time making life together. It is just as important for you to cut personal time so that you can recharge and relax," explains Wenner. This is part of the theory that "the distance makes the heart more confronted" and spending time independently will remind you why you cherish your relationship so much.

"Time far from each other can be very beneficial for your relationship and your feelings of love and passion," adds Wenner. "When you are separated, it helps you to appreciate each other when you get back together."

2
"What are your love languages?"

woman giving flowers to partner
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You may have heard of "love languages", which are simply the way you prefer to give and receive love, whether by physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, the reception of gifts or quality time. If you have never questioned your significant other about their love languages, it can be a great way to keep or revive this spark.

"By knowing the language of love of your partner, you can make a conscious effort to speak their language of love and show them that you care,"Joni Ogle, LCSW, CSAT, CEO ofHeight treatment, said.

For example, if your partner's love language is acts of service, you could offer to cook or do the laundry, or to perform other tasks that you know how to linger on their task list. Those who prefer gifts will probably appreciate a bouquet of flowers, while people who need words will be delighted to hear you say: "I love you and appreciate you".

Read this then:If it's your language of love, you are more likely to divorce.

3
"What are your favorite things to do together?"

older couple hiking trip
Half-point / Shutterstock

Just as important as the time "you" is the time spent together, say the therapists. Questioning your partner on a favorite date on which you have gone or what he likes to do with you can provide invaluable information.

"This can give you excellent ideas for meeting nights or weekend getaway," explains Ogle. "It is always important to keep things fresh and exciting in a relationship, so knowing your partner's favorite activities can be very useful."

Wenner says you can also ask them questions directly on an adventure that they would like to continue at some point in the future. "Being adventurous as a couple is one of the best ways to stay connected. You don't have to make an epic trip together, but you can try something different that none of you did before", she says. "The act of creating memories together will help you feel closer to each other and more excited by what comes next."

4
"What can I do for you today?"

husband and wife doing dishes
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An integral part of any relationship is to ensure that the needs of your partner are met. If you ask your meaning what you can do and how you can help them, you will be better equipped to anticipate their needs in the future.

"Show that you want your partner's needs to be met by making sure you know how much you care about them. Be attentive to their moods and emotions," suggests Wenner. "Make sure you are available to listen to their problems and their concerns. Give compliments, if necessary and communicate open and honestly. You will get your partner closer to it because he feels special."

Harrison echoes this, adding what to ask what you can show "that you are ready to put their happiness before yours".

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5
"What makes you feel sexy or desired?"

couple in bed
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A key element of "the spark" of your relationship is probably physical intimacy. Although this is not the utmost importance for everyone, understanding what makes your partner desirable is important.AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"You can ask [your partner] to share these intimate and specific details", "Jaclyn Gulotta, PHD, LMHC, contributory writer forChoose therapy, recountBetter life. "You can also have" checks "and ask them if they feel good and what they would like to do to make them feel even better."

When you have the impression that your partner favors your happiness and your desires, it validates - and a reverse, your partner will appreciate that you take the time to ask questions about their desires and their needs.

"Feeling positive about our partner and our relationship also helps make us want to get closer and connect to an intimate level," explains Gulotta. "When we can be vulnerable and share what makes us feel sexy and desired, it helps to meet these needs and establish a deeper connection while keeping the spark alive along the way."

6
"What are your goals and your dreams?"

senior couple walking in park
Singe Images / Shutterstock

Having objectives in life is a key engine for many of us, and these can evolve and change during a relationship. Make sure that you are up to date and informed of what your partner really wants in life can be a good test for your continuous compatibility, says Ogle.

"If you are both on the same wavelength where you want to be in life, it is likely that your relationship will be strong and durable," she explains. "If you are not compatible in this area, it is important to have an honest discussion on this subject and to see if you can find common ground."


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