It is trait n ° 1 that makes you a good friend, say the experts

Here is what most people are looking for in their friendships.


You surely haveMake a lot of friends Already throughout your life, but you have almost certainly lost several. Falling with a friend can be particularly difficult, because a friendship is "one of the most important relationships we have in our lives", according toSofia Celestino, aRelationship coach from Destiny Awakens. But although there are a number of reasons why someone may not want to be your friend, a large part comes down to a key problem: they feel that you are not a good friend. So what exactly makes someone a good friend of someone? Speaking of therapists and relations in relationships, we discovered the best features that people were looking for when they want in their lives. Read the rest to discover the number one quality that makes you a good friend.

Read this then:The sign of the zodiac you should be the best friends based on compatibility.

In general, everyone wants to be friends with people who have positive features.

Happy friends holding each other
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In the end, a "friendship is bilateral", saysJustin Larkin, a therapist with theLuxury luxury rehab in Hawaii. This means that you need to present some of the positive features you are looking for when you are looking for friends yourself. After all, if only one person in a friendship strives to give birth to the characteristics of a "good" friend ", then it is not a real friendship", according to Larkin.

"A person who does not engage in friendship is not a good friend either," he explains. "Sometimes you have a person who does all the work in friendship. It is problematic. We want an equal friendship. We want our friends to be there for us as much as we are there for them."

But there is a line that could stand out above the rest.

two ladies in a cafe
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Although there are many different qualities that can make you a good friend, there is one that can be more important than any other: being a good listener. "The upper line that ignites and supports friendships is the ability to listen to each other," saidRandi Levin, aSpecialist in transition life and expert in relation. According to Levin, people often look for this trait to other people because it adds depth to any friendship.

"In a word, this trait is precious because it is at the origin of the connection," she said. "Nothing is more precious in today's world than the real connection. Social media have watered the definition of the friendship of society, it is therefore even more important to implement and cultivate friendships Strong and continuous which add a intelligent substance, meaning and conversation to your life. "

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A good listening implies a lack of judgment.

A young woman is talking with a female friend about her problem in a cafe. The friend is supportive and understanding.
istock

However, there is a difference between just listening to someone and being a good listener.Heidi McBain, MFT, aonline therapist And the mothers' coach, says that a key element to be a good listener is a lack of judgment. Show someone that you can be there for them "without judging how they live their life" feels it understood, according to McBain. "People feel safe in a space where they are understood. It is often difficult to find friends who accept rather than judge you," said Levin further.AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

She adds: "The ability to listen without interrupting and without having to overshadow your thoughts first is a set of skills that is memorable for people. They feel good in your presence, understood and open during interaction with you." But reserving a judgment does not necessarily mean that you should see your eyes with each decision that someone takes.

"Understanding the feelings and thoughts of your friends does not always mean that you agree with them, but rather that you celebrate them and that you allow them to be themselves," says Levin. This means that even if you think your friend makes a mistake, you "resist the urge" to tell them that, saysLaura Doyle, aexpert expert With more than 20 years of experience. "It may not be a mistake for them. They have their own goals, dreams and desires in life," said Doyle. "Criticism is a poisoned pill for all kinds of relationship, especially close friendships."

It can also benefit the health of your friends.

en (50s and 60s) sitting outdoors, having conversation
istock

Your ability to be a good listener could also have positive health benefits for your friends. A study in 2021 published inJama Network Open found that theact to surround us With friends who are actively listening to us when we speak and perhaps sell to strengthen cognitive resilience. The researchers asked more than 2,100 adults to document their socialization levels through five different types of support: listening, advice, love affection, emotional support and sufficient contact.

They then measured the cognitive resilience of the participants by magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and found that participants who reported high support listening levels also showed higher cognitive resilience. This is particularly important because low cognitive resilience has been associated with certain diseases that affect the function of the brain and memory, such as Alzheimer's disease and other types of dementia.


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