Good Lifestyle

There is no secret for anyone that many of us hates to be single. (And yes, this includes those of us have surrounded at all times by a crowd of sustainable contenders or women's batteries.) Perhaps because we hate a feeling of vulnerability. Maybe because we are jaded about the dating pool. Or maybe because we are just trying too hard. Whatever the case, we have compiled the most common reasons for singles who live among us remain in this way (even if we are not quite sure why). If one of these sounds like you, do not worry. Whenever you are ready to start to date seriously, know that there isMore singles on the planet than ever and if you are happily coupled and wants to stay in this way, here are the20 reasons why fall should not be an excuse for a Cooldown relationship.

It is necessary that the most obvious reason as follows: many people are single simply because they prefer. "When you feel that you do not want to be" linked "and want to have fun and not to be attached, your behaviors will support that," explainsSusan Golicic, Ph.D., a certified relationship coach and co-founder ofDisinhibited wellness.

Unless you have a change of heart, there is no reason to do anything differently here. But sometimes, while recognizing the fact that you really feel like being alone can help you feel more in peace with your unique status. (Moreover, being unique when you want to be alone is downright awesome.) And if you are single and you are ready to come back in the game, here is7 meetings expert advice from Top Millionaire Matchmaker Silicon Valley.

"Dating apps have created the illusion that something or rather someone, better will always come to your fingertips," NotesMargaux Cassuto, Founder and president ofthree games. This care of people dissatisfied with just about anyone they encounter. "This dissatisfaction creates a vicious circle that can not be broken by the same date of more dreamer. »

So how do we repair it? Well, it's wrong with not to love each person you get out with, but to give someone else you really like a chance, even if they are not the perfect vision of your ideal companion as you have carved in your imagination could actually result in lasting love. Do not forget: many colleagues find love that after spending weeks and months with the other. Oh, and talking about: if you crush on a co-worker, be sure to memorize these12 rules to frequent a colleague.

"Life is on the compromise (do not settle)," explainsSTEF SAFRAN, Dating expert and owner ofStef and the city. "If you have an idea that someone should be a certain height, a certain amount of hair or not some" luggage ", you must recognize the reality that many people do not marry their" ideals, "she says. In other words, then it is important toKnow your Deal Breakers absoluteNo one will meet all the desired single qualities on your "perfect match" list. "Spend a few dates with someone who is not your ideal can help you answer someone you can fall in love. »

If you come up with a difficult break, the idea of ​​dating could make you grinning teeth. "This is a valid reason if it is only a few weeks or even a month or two," saysBarry Selby, Author and expert in relation. "Romance rebound is mostly without success. But it pays attention that if it has been more than that, especially a year or more, it may be time to make an effort to cure everything that keeps you from dating again.

Nothing more frustrating than dating someone who wants you to be different from who you really are. "Maybe you've been in a relationship before and noted that your partner tried to melt in their ideal version," saysRhonda milrad, LCSW, founder of the online relationship community,Relationup.

"For a long time, your clothes changed, your hairstyle has been changed, and aspects of your lifestyle have been rejected. There was no opportunity to repel and fear of losing the relationship. At the moment, you are in a place where you like to be who you are and how you live and do not want to be the project of anyone ".

"You can feel that you are ready for a relationship, and you can be looking for a partner and express to others that you do not want to be simple, but deep inside, you can still very well to benotReady to be in a relationship, "Golicic said". This is probably because of past decky experiences that have not been resolved or you have not abandoned. "

In addition, if your mind knows that you are not ready, you can try to get into a relationship, but your behavior could actually hunt people without even trying. If it seems familiar, Golicic recommends checking with a therapist or a relationship coach to go to the bottom of what holds you back.

One of the most dangerous misconceptions about love is that your ideal partner will "complement you" alone.

"You want this person to like the same activities and the same music and that you can share with them what you do with your friends," says Saffron. "It's normal in the lovers you enjoy someone's company, but it's also normal to need other people apart from your partner to" complete "you. At the end of the day you Can not get everything you need from a person, so do not expect to draw all your support, pleasure and joy of a potential partner. "

"You like to be single and the freedom to determine your own schedule," says Milrad. This is understandable. "Maybe you enjoy your ability to do what you want, when you want, and do not have to compromise or collaborate with someone else." If it looks like you, it's probably a good idea to stay single until your feelings about this change. And if they do not, just keep doing you.

It may seem that all your friends have found such partners who must not have anyone else worth it. Or maybe every person you encounter you are drawn, is already already coupled. According to Selby, this feeling comes from two places. First of all, you can feel subconsciously feel like the people you meet who are truly single are not good enough for you. Or you may be a lack of self-confidence and be afraid of making mistakes, which leads you to rejecting someone who comes from your way. "Either an approach error," he says and can be corrected with an open mind on the singles you meet.

"This problem comes in many forms," ​​saysStacy Karyn, online dating consultant. "Sometimes guys put their" flirting "too hard. Sometimes women will try very difficult to watch and act beautifully." Unfortunately, going too far in a direction may sometimes have the opposite of the intended effect.

His advice? "The most important thing to remember is to calm down a little and to be yourself." And when you try to woo a lady, make sure to find the right balance of appearing interested and respectful: try one of theThe 10 most sexiest things the sexiest to tell him on a first date.

If you are not sure who you are, it's quite difficult to understand what you are looking for in a companion. "We can not give what we do not have," NotesJennie Lynn, the author and the expert in relation. Before you can be in a successful relationship, "You have to discover who you are, what are your unique gifts and exactly what you want." You will probably find that once you are more comfortable in your own skin, you will have an easier to meet people you really like.

"Being tied up is risky," said Golicic. If you're the kind of person who protects their feelings, it can be difficult to open enough to be in a relationship. But this fear of being vulnerable puts you in the protect mode gollusic calls "where you do not allow the other person to really see you or hear you because of the armor you have on. When the other person can not really see or hear you, they can not really know you and therefore can not determine if you would be a game. "

A mistake many singles who really want to be in relationships is a message that does not match their true intentions. "This may sound and feel cool when you tell everyone you know that you are looking for anything serious right now," however, saying these words out loud, you might start to believe the idea yourself same, "says Karyn. "The truth is that many people act as if they want to be single in order to protect itself. This causes a big problem when it comes to finding and keeping a mate."

So if you really want to be single, by all means, be introduced to it. And if you need advice here, here15 signs that you should certainly be single.

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