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Although there are certainly many things you should keep from your partner, especially ifyou are not a fan of his family-There are certainly many things you'd better tell them always. And, according to the professional relations professionals we talked, if you play these cards too close to the jacket, you will be set up for a big drama at the bottom of the line. (Nobody wants, no?) So here are the truths you need to have to own Run-of-The-Moulin to scandalous-law experts who have seen everything. And once you digest these, do not miss the50 worst peeves who brighten relationships.

Whether it's a bit or a lot, if you live with your partner or if you have combined finances, they need to know how much you need. "Do not keep your debt a secret," advisesApril Masini, A relationship and expert in label and author. "Let's disclose early in a relationship and not apologize. Be honest and wait for honesty in return. If your debt is a deal-breaker for your partner, it is much better to know than before before you are both invested in the relationship. "

Many people feel like their partner is just not doing their part, but decide to keep it for them. Whether it is because they do not earn income, do not help with tasks, or do not take their share of emotional work a relationship requires, it is necessary to speak. "Most couples do not talk about responsibility because they feel it can be petty," saysThe Mirlis Hope, A counselor before marriage and official marriage based on New York. "But these little problems can quickly cause resentment, so it's better to talk about it earlier. And if you really want to throw your weight around where it counts, take a look at17 Expert Sex Moves The Best Lovers Always Do.

You might feel like what is in the past deserves to stay there, but this is an exception. "Those who have struggled and overcome dependencies understand that they will always be the temptation of the face," explainsMelissa Orlov, A related consultant and founder ofTdah wedding. "Your needs of partners to know your addictions past in order to fully support you. Sharing knowledge of your past, as well as all temptations or problems you feel in the present. This is not the work of your partner to heal you, but knowing these things can help them better support you ".

The decision to have children (or not) can be a charge of emotion, but if you know that you are medically unable to conceive, you have to be from the start on this subject, according toDr. Wyatt Fisher, A clinical and founder psychologist refresh. Keep this information for you is simply not fair to your partner.

"Mental health problems interfere with your ability to be present and find pleasure in life. This will affect your ability to be a support partner, "saysKIMBERLY HERSHENSON, LMSW. Another thing you should not keep for you? Past mental health struggles. You never know when they might arise again, and your S.O. should know how to be on the lookout for any warning signs.

"Sometimes people think it's easier to just accept what they get rather than asking what they really want between the leaves, but it does not hurt your relationship, saysTara StruykCo-founder ofKinkly. "The vast majority of people subcommittees with respect to sex, even in long-term relationships. The truth is, when we do not ask what we want, we end up being satisfied with much less than we should. And, although talking about sex can be difficult, most partners prefer a certain direction (especially when it works!) To grop in the darkness ".

It might feel like it is not your place to disclose a family secret to your long-term partner, but if one of your parents is not really your biological parent, for example, or you are adopted, but do not Not talk about it, your so should be clued. "Your partner deserves to know the truth and how it can affect them and your relationship," introducesROSALIND SEDACCA, A meeting and coach relationship. "It's not time to avoid problems or set up a false facade. »

"I treat with a ton of women in their 40 and men in their 40 and 50 years who have not had children, and more often than not, they are" open "to have children," saysErica Archea, A certified and founding entrateter ofFiveMatchmaking. "Do this answer to a yes or no," she advises. Beat around the bush increases the chances of sorrow of love later.

Yes, everyone should have their own private emergency fund, but it is crucial to be on the same page as your partner on all silver spending, even if you agree not to agree on how to spend it. "People grow differently and have different points of view on money and how it should be spent," saysDr. Vacationa Marie Perry, founder and strategist of the chief relationship toWritten love. "In many couples, there is an addiction and a saver. It is important to understand how money has been discussed in their families to understand their financial habits." So go ahead and be honest about what you spend money. If you associate do not like it, you can agree to keep your finances separated, but at least you will know everyone what you are.

You do not need us to tell you that cheating is bad. But emotional infidelity always counts as tricking many people. If you get closer to get closer to someone, even if it's like friends - it's a good idea to give your partner a head to your partner. "Unless Agreement agreed in advance that it is normal for other important relationships, most partners describe this type of secrecy such as betrayal," saysShelly M. Smith, an authorized marriage and a family therapist toTips united and well-being. "When this type of secret is discovered (and it's usually), it ruins the foundation of trust between partners. For many people, it can be a" line in the sand "incredibly difficult to overcome as a couple. C ' is better disclosure early to work things, rather than risking the whole relationship by holding it from your partner. "

"You may be surprised to hear that some people do not think it's necessary, that's why he's my list of secrets to share," saysChristine Baumgartner, a coach of meetings and relationships. It is true that the past should not dictate how your relationship works in the present, but for financial and emotional reasons, the previous romantic commitments are certainly something that your partner should be informed.

Or that once, you cheated on your ex. "When I ask most couples, what is important to be faithful to their spouses, without hesitation, they say," Very! "" Explains Mirlis. "Be open to know if you have cheated on a past partner or have you been deceived." Anyway, you probably always treat the emotional effects of it. This does not mean that it will certainly reproduce, but an open and honest conversation on what happened is justified.

Maybe you have promised not to talk to your friends of your relationship conflicts, but deep down, you know that you will do it anyway, or you said that you accepted the political points of view of your partner because you simply knew it would be easier in this way. "As with all the secrets, it creates a resentment and a distance," saysSarah Madras, a relations therapist and a speaker. "When you do not secretly believe in the agreement, you will be less likely to follow or wear anger to accept something you do not believe. It is a betrayal of the worst kind, because it is a betrayal of yourself. And your fundamental values ​​to please your partner. It is also a betrayal towards your partner, as when you say yes and accept something that your partner thinks you are on the same page when you are not. "

Do not tell them that it means that it will probably go not fulfilled. In addition, "sharing sexual fantasies helps ensure good communication, and it is also a way to promote major privacy," says Struchy. "The fantasies are personal and very individual. The opening of them can really help people know their partners in a new and deeper way."

Or any other serious health problem, on this subject. "Whether it's a chronic disease, a sexually transmitted disease you are ashamed, or a genetic trait that you wear that could affect the children you might have to share it," says Masini. "If you do not do it, you will have created a dynamic of mistrust when your secret is discovered, and it will be. It will be much better to deal with what you hide because you have been discovered only because your secret has been discovered. "

"Some keep this as a secret to not feel like they would boast, but if you can not share that with your partner, what can you share it?" asks Orlov. "Sharing what you are most proud of yourself can give your partner a good idea of ​​your partner to whom you are, as well as give them a way to openly support and admire this quality or accomplishment."

Keep your needs a secret does not help anyone. Of course, it may seem better to never need anything from your partner, but it's not really realistic. Need a family leave day to play golf and decompress? Or a little space to watch your favorite TV show after a long day at work? Be honest about it - do not keep it bottled inside, suggests Madras. "Tell your partner what you need and allow them to honor and respect this need. Mutually express your needs in a loving way you allow you and your partner the opportunity to get your two needs encountered and In the end, being filled as individuals and as a couple. "

Now, once you have all gained from your chest, here is a list an elegant simple to11 ways you can make it feel special tonight celebrate.

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