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I was at my end of 20 years and I live in London when I met Tom. I still remember my first view, at a bar that I attended: amazingmuscle, chopped jaw, tanning and outdoors. He was a kind of jeans guys and jeans t-shirt that seemed completely comfortable with himself.

I was recently finished along-term relationship And thought to play a little in the field, but meet Tom quickly put a stop at that. Here is a beautiful Australian munical looking for a man and, when you added to the sense of humor and creativity that would strip me as soon as we had to talk, I knew I met someone special. Needless to say, I did not hesitate to say yes when he asked me.

Ourfirst appointments were a hysterical laugh andfair sex. I could not believe my luck. Tom was sensitive and attentive, spiritual and affectionate. We loved the same movies andTV showsAnd we had similar ambitions. He had always wanted to lead a little theater company; I had that I wanted to own a big piece of land one day and running a leisure farm. We seem to be aMatch made in paradise. It was almost too good to be true!

But a year on the line, I realized that Tom was not just like a perfect manual as I took it out. One of my best friends was a man named Lee, who was not particularly flamboyant about hissexualityBut has always spoken openly about his partner and their lives together. Tom was charming towards Lee in person. However, in private, it seemed to judgment and would do few jibes about it. I faced Tom about it, but he swore he was nothomophobic; He said he had just not seen the need for Lee to discuss his private life.

I tried not to judge Tom hard to feel that way. He had grown up in a very small country town. I was curious to learn more about Tom's education, so when he suggested spending a year visiting Australia together, I jumped this opportunity. We traveled to his hometown in 2005 and I could not pass over the warm welcome that his friends and family gave me; These were my kind of people and it really cemented my feelings for Tom.

Towing the end of our stay, Tom surprised me by organizing a weekend for both of us in the beach house of his friend. On our last night, he asked me to pick up a walk from Sunset Beach. It was perfect; The sound of the ocean, the vibrating sunset, and just standing there, hand in hand, with this handsome man. And just before the sun's rays finally disappeared under the horizon, Tom took a solitary diamond ring from his pocket andasked me to marry her. I do not think I had ever been so happy that it was that night.

In 2007, we got married in England and twoChildren soon followed. We stayed in U.K. For a few years because oflabor commitmentsAnd things were not always easy. Tom missed Australia and our social life rolled a little. He asked that I did not try to include it when I was released with friends he tried "too". I noticed that it was usually mygay friendsBut he never complained about me to spend time with them, so I did not want to say anything about it.

In 2015, we returned to the hometown of Tom in Australia for good. His circle of original friends was waiting for us with open arms. They were a large group and many of them had children of the same age at ours. Our days have been filled with holidays, barbecues and holidays with the gang. It was perfect.

At one of these parties, just before Christmas 2016, there was a late arrival. When this man walked very beautiful, big and thin with very dark hair and a little bit of bad boy on the face of him-Tom pale. Everyone watched it warmly, but Tom did everything he could to avoid man, whose name I soon learned was Mike. As we returned home that night, I asked Tom from him. He brushed me a little, telling me that he had knew Mike as a teenager and had never trusted him because he was "in Sapady stuff".

Mike seemed perfectly respectable and enjoyable for me - the bad-boy Edge could be explained by the fact that he worked in the city, was a sharp dresser and was single. Maybe he was just a little from Philater or something?

Nevertheless, I did not push it. But we continued to face Mike in various gatherings and Tom is always out of his way to avoid it. I saw Mike make repeated efforts to hire Tom, but most Tom would give back were answers for a word before getting away from him. Other people also noticed the behavior. A friend asked me why Tom did not like Mike. The truth was, I had no idea.

One evening, a number of us had drunk a bit of just wine and had a good time when Mike arrived. Tom was absolutely rude for him and insisted that we leave. When we returned home, I accused Tom to bejealous From Mike because he was handsome and charming - that was all I could think about explaining his behavior. I told him that everyone had noticed that he had been awful in Mike, and that it made them uncomfortable.

Although it can hardly go out the words, it's when Tom finally admitted that he "had one thing" with Mike when they were every two about 20. It was as if he had confessed to the murder, Although what he described was nothing more than a prolonged kiss (and rather passionate). He said it did not go further than that and he hated that part of himself since.

Then Tom admitted that he was not "fully gay" but he wasbisexual.

He was so embarrassed and upset, he started shaking. I did not understand why he was angry with a kiss! But I was also a little worried. Has he been attracted to him by men means he would like to explore this side of himself? Has he always liked Mike? Was it what caused this distress?

As we talked late at night, Tom explained that, where he had grown up, being gay was something that, to put it nicely - has been frustrated. When he was 15 years old, an effeminate boy from his class even left his school as a result ofvicious intimidation.

The idea of ​​being gay was so abominee from Tom that he was convinced that he was the simplest straight guy. Live in the fear ofbe outHe had cultivated a hyper-masculine personality - the same thing that attracted me to him in the first place - to compensate for a little kiss.

I was a broken heart that Tom had felt the need to simulate this version of himself for so long.

He said he was worried about leaving him if I discovered. But we had an incredible love life for all these years, I told him. It being attracted by men and women was not a problem for me until it was for him. He said he did not have the desire toEnd our wedding At all and reassured me that it was me who he wanted to be with.

I was worried about feeling later that he could not fully explore his appeal to men, but it was certain that he had chosen to spend his life with me and that meant being faithful, no matter his sexuality.

In the seven years we have, he has open a lot and we even discussed what kind of men we find both attractive (I'm more inTom Hardywhile he is aBill Hader type of guy). We also told some of our close friends and, overall, Tom says he feels much happier with himself. He also apologized at Mike to be rude, but Mike tells him not to be stupid. It was a long time ago, he said and he completely understood Tom's concerns.

I can see a weight has been raised from Tom's chest and our life together is better than ever because there is nosecret Between us now. After abandoning this hatred, Tom says it looks like his world is much more colorful and more beautiful. And, finally, a happier Tom has meant a happier me. And for more things about how to maintain a healthy and happy marriage, check out the50 best wedding tips from all time.

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