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Ask most parents and they will tell you thatGet a teenager to openMore often than no, we may want to shoot teeth. Whether they avoid contact with you at all costs or turn off completely when you start asking questions, even find the smallest details about what's going on in your teenager life is rarely easy. And with school, extracurricular activities and even visits in person with friends out of the question in the foreseeable future because of thecoronavirus pandemicInnumerable teenagers are naturally stressed - with few points of sale to convene these feelings appropriately. The good news? With the help of experts, we gathered the best ways to bring your teenager to talk to you, fromfun activities Try the way you can use questions, they will actually answer.

WhileYour own childhood May not have the impression that it happened a long time ago, your children probably feel otherwise. Give them an overview of your past and this could simply help them reveal new details about their present.

"Tell a story of your childhood - a story that makes you vulnerable and shows that you are not perfect," says the clinical psychologistCarla manly, PhD. "This plant of open seeds and vulnerability in the mind of your teenager." After that, manifestly said that the ball is now in their yard to share something back.

Instead of trying to guide the conversation with your teenager, try keeping your questions open to their interpretation - and accept their answers as they come.

"Ask your teen a few open questions such as:" How is your best friend? "," What's going on with these drawings, I saw you work on last time? "Where 'I feel stirring. And you?" "Suggests Viril. And if you want to stay ahead of your children, make sure you know these30 lies Each teenager told their parents.

While they may not be able to go to theirFavorite restaurants-Or even get all the foods they would like at the local store - have a word to say in what you buy and you are preparing at home can give your teen a sense of agency in these uncertain moments.

"Invite your teenager to share in the kitchen, shopping or dinner preparation saying:" What are some items you would like to see the dinner menu? "" Suggests Viril. "When teenagers feel included and relevant, they often share naturally."

Although your children talk about some topics can make you feel uncomfortable,Do not chat When they choose to open topics that are relevant to them.

"If a teenager says or does something inappropriate, do not criticize them, but have the family values ​​defended," says Manly. "If a teenager is upset or irritable, just say something like" it sounds like if you are upset "or" I really appreciate what you have to say. I will be able to take your message better when the jure is left outside. '"

It istrying to tell your children that each cloud has a lining of money or tell them that everything will be fine, but it can do the restDedish of their feelings, especially in unprecedented circumstances such as COVID-19 hatch.

"That's why, however, it gives the child a feeling of not being heard, which can inevitably close them communication," said an authorized mental health advisorCatherine G. Cleveland, Owner ofCleveland Emotional Health. Cleveland notes that not trying to change the way they feel "invites them to be more open to sharing". And if you want to know what your children are treating really daily, see these20 facts that will make you so happy that you are not a teen right now.

Logging is apersonal experience-But it does not mean it's not one that you can share, you are your children. TherapistStephanie Longhain, LCSW, co-founder ofCounseling of the human statesays that this uncomfortable means of communication helps parents and their teenagers will open up to each other.

"The parent writes an entry to their teenager - she can include questions, thoughts, ideas, comments and adolescents respond and continue," says Longtain. "This reduces the pressure and facilitates the realization of certain subjects that can be uncomfortable to discuss in person."

Even if they are not exactly your cup of tea,Participate in the favorite activities of your teenager With them is a great way to form a stronger obligation with them - especially with allfree time you probably have in quarantine.

"It's easier to talk about something you have in common (lifting weight, your favorite group or your television show, or a creative prosecution) than to talk about how things were at the "School" said Longtain, who notes that they are also more likely to want to spend time with you when you do something they appreciate. And with many parents working at home these days, there has never been a better time to get some of these liaison sessions throughout the day.

Just because you wantto be a model for your children This does not mean that you can not be vulnerable too.

"There is something about allowing your teenager to see you failure and / or your weaknesses that stand out from the playground," says Longtain. "They will see you as more humane and less parents." For example, Longtain says, allow your child to give you help from choosing your outfits or showing you how to use a new application, depending on their particular interests.

Take a car ride with your teenager could be one of the few ways on your part of the pandemic. And although they can look like an ideal opportunity to ask your children, stay silent can really be more useful if you want them to open.

"When you're quiet during a car, the journey can become almost meditative, which can help them get into their thoughts," explains an authorized psychologistHeather Z. Lyons, PhD, owner ofBaltimore therapy group. "If you are sitting quietly, they are allowed to formulate their thoughts and start talking."

Being honest about your own worries, how your work life has changed since stays at home have struck your concerns about the safety of the elderly family members, can create an opening for Your children also reveal their own vulnerabilities.

"Model using self-disclosure with your children and uses a feeling language when you do it," says Lyon. "Ask them when you feel happy, proud and even worried." However, it warns against disclosure disclosure, noting that you should always model the appropriate limits for your relationship.

Do not ask your children the same questions again and expect to get different answers.

"No more" How was your day ... What did you do at school today ... How are you? "SaidDavid Simonsen, PhD, LMFT. Instead, he recommends asking what makes them laugh, what makes them sad, or what makes them nervous to have a deeper way of whom your child is like a person.

Instead of asking your teenagerWhy, try to ask them to talk to their feelings aboutWhat Arrived instead.

"When we use the wordWhy When putting questions to other questions, it implies a sense of judgment that puts others on the defensive, "says the psychotherapistRyan G. Beale, founder and Chief Executive Officer ofPrepare andLive therapy.

Even if you are limited to a walk around the neighborhood or wind sprints in your backyard, get your blood pumping by doing something active with your teenager, these conversations will take place in no time.

"When actively involved in other tasks, including [those that] are physically difficult or competitive, they are less self-conscious," says the theater therapistYELA ORELOWITZ. "This diverted attention will often lead to a more confident expression of self and vulnerability."

Although it may be tempting to hold the courtyard in your kitchen or bedroom, spend time with them somewhere at ease, it's a better choice.

"If your teenager spends a lot of time in [their] bedroom, get it, flop on the bed and talk about what they do at that moment," saysDallas-based neuropsychologist Michelle Bengtson. "If they look at Tiktok, ask them to show you their favorites, then comment and ask questions like" What makes your favorite? "

Children love to feel useful, so try to ask them to help you with something to keep them engaged.

"When our children are involved in activities and they are not monitored or under the spotlight, they are more likely to open and converser," says Bengtson, who suggests tackling household tasks with you for their give a chance to reveal their feelings.

It may not always be comfortable for your children to discuss what's going on with them specifically, but to ask them how their friends can be a great icebreaker to start his conversation.

"This is particularly important at our current pandemic," saysMichelle Nietert, a registered professional advisor based in Dallas. "Ask what their friends are worried or preoccupied. As they share what's happening with their friends, parents will have a better idea of ​​what's going on in their own teenage world."

If you want your child to open you, it's in your best interest - and their-to-say - to keep a neutral position, no matter what they are saying, especially at a time when emotions are likely to be strengthened.

"If we react calmly and that we simply ask the next day, we model the behavior they will possibly adapt,"Hans Watson, Make a neuropsychiatrist and a psychotherapist toElite Pllc University. "If you react with anger, adolescent defenses will raise and hinder future communication."

It may be tempting to try to confer your wisdom to your children when you speak with them, but you remember from time to time, then will serve you better in the long run.

"By being willing to teach a lesson on many interactions, a teenager will begin to trust more and that communication will increase," says Watson, who notes that the frontal lobes of adolescents are still developing and will only learn. .

Although you feel discouraged when your child refuses to open you initially, that does not mean you should give up hope.

"Although teenagers often give answers that offer no real information, the daily investigation demonstrates that you care and you are probably a person of trust in their lives," says Watson.

You may be reluctant to admit your failures to your children, but you will inform them that you are mortifiable can actually be the key to allowing them to disclose their inner operation.

"Tell your teen a story about you where you admit that you have made a mistake and what you have learned from it," suggests an expert in human behaviorPatrick Wanis, PhD. "When choosing to open and share your humanity, your imperfections, errors and regrets, you demonstrate vulnerability and indirect acceptance."

A little creativity could be all it takes for your children to start talking - and apart, who could not use fun distraction right now?

"Ask them to help you create a Spotify playlist. If you have painting, ask them to paint an object or a free paint on a piece of paper / canvas," suggestsSarah Food, LCSW, CCLS, a psychotherapist and co-founder ofTherapy of nice spirits.

Just because you were a teenager once you know that you really know what your child goes through - or how they feel about the current state of the world.

"We all want to connect according to the shared experiences, but most of us did not have our school experience at high school cut abruptly, if not canceled, saidPamela Schuller, a teenage mental health expert and director of the Jewish CouncilHere.I program. His recommendation? "Instead of telling them that everything will be fine, validated that he is painful and frustrating," she says.

Sometimes, find out what your children feel - and what they need you-it's simple. You just have to ask!

"Ask your teenager what they need and what would help them feel the most sustained", suggests Schuller, also noting that adults are often too focused on solutions when you try to deal with them. "There are situations in which they just need to feel what they feel and sit in sadness, uncertainty or disappointment."