10 things "polyamour" people want you to know about their relationships

It's not an open relationship - not, it's not polygamy either.


At the moment, you undoubtedly heard about theIncreased open marriages In the United States yes, it is relationships in which two people are in love and are widely inseparable - only they are in bed with other people. (And yes, everyone is cool with her.) But open marriage is not only the shape of a non-traditional coupling and multifoculated steam winning right now. There is a range of polyamorous types of relationships.

What is Polyamory, are you asking for? Well, it's an excellent question. Today, the term was twisted to serve as a general description for any sexual or romantic relationship that outside the traditional limits of monogamy, although it starts to define what it means to be really "polyamor". So here we are to define the registration directly by offering 11 truths on the polyamorous relationships that you probably did not know.

polyamorous three people men two women

Polyamor relationship Meaning:

1. It is not technically an "open" relationship.

"Couples in open relationships tend to have an opening insexual contact with external partners, but they do not want their partner to fall in love with someone else or to have a distinct relationship, "saysMeredith Shirey, MS, LMFT, Director of New York PracticeRelational Counseling Manhattan and Psychotherapy.

With open relationships, there is a "main partner", which receives the share of the lion of love and attention; Everyone is accessory. An ideal polyamor relationship involves several people who love everyone equally.

2. This is not polygamy either.

In short, polyamory is the romantic ability and freedom to be in love with more than one person at a time, physically and emotionally. This may seem like a polygamy, but this is not the case. "Polygamy is a person havingseparate Relationships - But then there is a lot of interleaving, "says Shirey. (Think about the show HBOGreat love, In which there was a husband with three women in three separate houses that were all connected.) Polyamory is a person with distinct relationships - and keeping things, you know,separate.

3. They do not have any more sex than the rest of us.

According to Morgaine * ofPolyamory conscious, a blog on polyamorous relationships, one of these false ideas is "that it's free for all and that people have sex all the time. Being in a poly relationship does not lead more sex." No, it's about love, no sex. Hence the name. In addition, you can take his word for that: she is in one.

*pseudonym

4. Really - it's not sex.

"This is the relationship, it's about the commitment, it's about love," says Morgaine. "We can give kinship to more than one partner," says Morgaine. If it was purely physical sex, the easiest solution would be an open relationship or the only one life.

5. They are more likely to call it.

Shirey discovered that polyamorteous people are more likely to break with their partners. She found that when the situation becomes tough, those committed, monogamous relationships are more likely to seek help or finding a way to make things work. "But with the person polyamour, it's like", I fell with love with him. I'm still in love with, X, Y, Z, "Shirey says." It's easier to leave. "

6. They tend to have fewer sexually transmitted infections.

"Polyamorteuses are much more deliberate on the use of protection and being controlled regularly," says Morgaine. In addition, unbridled opening and honesty that exists naturally in polyamorous relationships make these, "Hey, listen ..." much less clumsy conversations.

7. Men want them more than women.

"I do not mean any kind stereotyping, but in my experience, it's usually men who identify themselves as Poly," Shirey. In his work, over the years, she did not meet a single woman who wants a polyamor relationship. There is no concrete evidence, but the theories of the community of evolutionary psychology can explain it: "Because women can only reproduce once a month, they are more discriminant [choosing] their partners "Explains Shirey. "While men, from an evolutionary point of view, are able to reproduce much more, and as such, are more inclined to pursue relationships."

8. Surprise! There is always jealousy.

"My current partner is married to his 25-year-old wife," says Morgaine. "When she had a lover, she accepted very my relationship with him.Corn, Once she and her lover broke, she became jealous of our relationship, wanted us to break. At this point, [my partner and I have already had a Yearlong relationship. So we worked very hard to deal with his feelings. "

9. There are spiritual advantages.

In Morgaine, Polyamory is intimately heard of spirituality. "In all major religions, the essential theme is love," she says. "The purest form of love does not concern possession - it is about freedom and generosity and openness and honesty and intimacy. Polyamory does all these things."

10. It's the future. (Polyamore people believe.)

In Morgaine, Polyamory is "an evolution in human relations". Think about it: from a biological point of view, "you [have] your women, your family, your tribe. Now that we live in a global society - now that we are all connected, we do not see people from other cultures like necessarily "others". Polyamory says, "Let's extend the sphere of love beyond my partner," she says.

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