How to avoid spoiling your child

Four simple steps to make sure your children are entitled, unfitled.


Dad wants the best for their children, but often they go to the sea in their ambition and get it very badly, says David J. Bredehoft, Ph.D., President of the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences of the University Concordia, in Saint-Paul, Minnesota. "Parents who ruin their children want, but they give too many things: too many things or too much love or too much freedom," says the co-author ofHow much do you need?, a book on love and discipline balance. "To spoil our children does not make them happy; it makes them very unhappy." Well rounded children and content have firm but democratic parents, "says Bredehoft.

Excessive children do not learn a lot of skills in the life they need to become fully working, happy adults. They tend to have an increased feeling of personal importance, just as much, they have problems of money management, relationship problems, poor conflict resolution, difficulties in taking responsibility for their actions and their problems. And it's cyclical: when an overwitch child becomes a parent, he believes he can not control the behavior of his child and he is not responsible for that. It feels incompetent as a parent because it effectively lacks the skills of parents.

The biggest problem seems to be overestimated, which is when parents give their children too much attention and do things for them that children should do for themselves, "says Bredehoft. For example, parents do not just sign their university-age children for courses, but also in interviews with their children with recruiters. The other type of surdibility is a soft structure, which is when parents do not have rules or do not apply rules, such as a curfew, and do not allow children to learn skills By doing housework.

Ask yourself four questions:

(1) What does I interfere with the development of my child?

(2) Does this cause a disproportionate amount of family resources (money, time, attention) to spend on one or more of my children?

(3) Am I doing it to enjoy, the adult, more than my child?

(4) Could it potentially harm my child or others, including myself?

Any answer "Yes" suggests that you may need to make modifications: place a time limit on television. Pick up the child his room instead of doing it for him. Establish rules for how things will be treated, rules that have consequences. A balance between structure and discipline is the key to extinguishing a well-adjusted person who can handle the challenges of life.

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