Good Lifestyle

Following the Weinstein scandal, a floating floating sorrow story that proves that all men in Hollywood use their power to abuse women from their careers; This, on the contrary, it is actually possible to use your power to make women more comfortable. All you need is the simple act of putting someone else's shoes.

Recently, journalistNell MINOW RecountVanity fairabout the time she had to interviewDavid SchwimmericonicFriends Fame, on a film he had directed,Confidenceat the Phoenix Hotel de Washington D.C. Now, there is nothingintrinsicallyAlways leading an interview in someone's hotel room and I'm sure many interviews between young, older male journalists and celebrities have taken place in hotel rooms without incident. But what we know about the common denominator of these terrible stories of Weinstein, is that often, being alone in a hotel room with a powerful man can make a woman very vulnerable to sexual assault.

Schwimmer understood that. So it did something that, at Minow, was so radical that she still remembers six years later: he quickly suggested that if she wanted it, he could make sure there was a third party in the bedroom.

This seems to be such a gesture as small, but it talks about the volumes of character of Schwimmer and its true respect for women. Rather than thinking, "waiting for a minute, I'm a very good guy, she has no reason to worry," he put in his shoes and thought, "Hmm, if I was a woman , I would be a little nervous to meet a celebrity alone in his hotel room and I will worry about what people would think. "This is called a gentleman.

"I have not thought it since it happened, but Weinstein's stories made me that I do not only remember remembering it but I remember her in a totally different context as Indicator of the prevalence of predatory behavior and an indicator of the integrity and sensitivity of Schwimmer, "MINOWRecountVanity fair. "It was not only about his being a good guy who would not have tried anything. He understood what it is to have to constantly be on the alert and he wanted to make sure that I understood that I was safe. "

When I read the story, I was not surprised, because I met Schwimmer in May 2016 at a press event for his AMC series,FeedAnd was immediately struck with the way it was different from many, many other men I met at Hollywood. When you asked him a question, he looked at you directly in the eyes in a way that showed you that you have an undivided attention. Once again, it may seem like a very small gesture, but you would be surprised how many men in Hollywood enslave to look at their mobile phones while you chat, in a very clear wayI-am-am-very important-and do not-avoy-tempt-tea, and only search and put their phone only when addressed by another man.

I used to go out with a filmmaker who considered himself a "feminist", who worked on a big-budget horror movie. Whenever we go dine with the director and the rest of the upper level crew, they all sit together on one side of the table discussionTerrence Malick andTabskyand I would be grouped on the other side of the table with their girlfriends (all the actresses and all the models), whose officially sanctioned conversation subjects seemed only to be where we like to get our nails and what our favorite beach stations were . Whenever I tried from the pipe on the other side of the table to give my thoughts on whyPerfectlyIs a stack of pretentious waste, I would be talked so hard that it was as if I were not even there. I realized after a moment that, for them, my presence has had a TAGIAINT agreement: we, men, you will pay for drinks and, in return, you, women, are there and look pretty and Shut up. I used to myself after a moment, but it never ceased to be sad.

Schwimmer, on the other hand, was not like that at all. Surrounded by a horde of journalists, he gave everyone his undivided attention. He did not cut anyone. He did not act as his time was more valuable than ours. He never looked at his phone. He asked questions, even if he was the one who was interviewed. He did not make flattering but vaguely inappropriate as: "Well, you're pretty, you can be an actress" or try to be at the center of attention when we started discussing what our restaurants Preferred were in New York. Simply put, treated us in the same way as you would make a male journalist. And the best part was, he made it lookso easy.

I met Schwimmer again, briefly, the following spring, during a main class of Hearst, promoting "it's harassment", a series of five short films representing examples of men harassing women in a way a lot more subtle than these. Movies, which were all based on real life stories, were written and made by an American Israeli filmmakerSigal avin.

She approached her friend, Schwimmer and asked her to help produce and promote movies. He did it better and played in one,The colleague, Where he plays a boss that makes inappropriate progress towards his colleague while working late in the office. Movies,that you can watch climb here, are excellent because they display what avin calls "the gray zone of sexual harassment", in which men might even be aware that they act inappropriately.

In an interviewwithCosmopolitan, Schwimmer explained why the subject imported him a lot:

I grew up with my mother's sexual harassment stories. Every woman of my family, in my life, was harassed, except my daughter, thank you God, who is only 6 years old. But my mother was one of the four women in a class of 400 lawyers when she went to school school. And then she was a young woman lawyer in California, in the 70s and the 80's and the 90s. Innumerable harassment stories. But I sent him the link to the movies and only after looking at them that she said, "I already told you about the time I was harassed by my doctor?" [Note from the publisher: In another video, a patient played byCynthia Nixon, is sexually harassed by a doctor played byMichael Kelly.] I was like, "no." Then she told me that my sister was harassed by her doctor when she was a young woman [too], and I did not know it either.

During these stories and this process, I put forward several times in the mind of what it should be like a woman in the world today. When you have been objectified all your life and that you are used to being a second class citizen in many ways, he constantly said that you do not blame the same as men, basically, and that your body comes first , or what you have to say that it comes first - it makes much more sense for me that many women do not even recognize when they are harassed. Because you spend all your life not to be treated with the kind of respect that men are automatically given.

Following the phenomenon of #Metoo, which made it overcrowded, as Schwimmer said, practically the whole woman on the planet had to face harassment in one form or another, the men took to Twitter To promise #iwillChange. It is a noble promise, but in a culture in which this type of behavior is so rooted, it can be difficult to understand how to be better. The simple answer is: Be more like Schwimmer. The next time you have an interaction with a woman, do you think: "How would I feel if I was in his shoes? How can I feel safe? "

And then, you will really be your best me.

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