Good Lifestyle

There are no two ways to do:life after divorce Can be difficult, but it is not forced to be the worst. Many depends on your perspective and how you fit your new situation. You can make it a difficult transition of life but ultimately rewards, or this can be the most miserable period of your life, which made it possible to make everyone you love uncomfortable and leave emotional scars who never cure. It might seem ringing that the choice is yours, but it's really the case. There are so few things in this world that you can control, but your behavior is one of them.

Yes, we know you feel hurt and abandoned. There is a chip on your shoulder that might not get out at any time soon. But you can be the biggest person. Here are 40 things you should absolutely do not do after a divorce, even if each atom of your body shout maybe anyway do them anyway. You can pass through that, and with these guidelines, you will go out on the other side stronger and happier.

Your emotions can always be raw, but it's no reason to let your anger dictate your behavior. Leave the Snarky comments in your head and, if you plan to do anything that is useless than reminding your ex that you are always bitter about how things ended, leave a little more time before Have a hurry of decisions.

Nothing makes a more painful divorce than putting your children in the middle. Not that you need to protect them from what's going on - a little honesty is always a good idea - but it is unfair to make them choose between parents. Tell them that you love them both of the same, and your divorce does not mean they need to choose an allegiance.

Even if you feel emotionally ready to come back in the dating basin, take it slowly. This is not a race to see which ex-spouse can find another partner first. Give yourself a little whileto agree with being single. Another relationship, whatever its health, is not the quick solution that will make you feel whole.

Do not be fooled by thinking about buying a fancy sport car or new expensive clothes is all you need to hunt the post-divorce blues. You always have to deal with these feelings and you must now do it in deeper debt. The new toys are fun, but remember: the rush towards the endorphin, it gives you, it is a fugue.

You have perfectly the right to be melancholy, but do not let these feelings consume you completely. Sadness can weigh you or act as a motivator. You can spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself, or you can leave this grief to be your fuel to get out and start your second act.

Especially if the divorce was acrimonious, you might be tempted to attract your dirty laundry to see everything, on, say, Facebook, Twitter, from Instagram. This is not a good plan. Full stop.

Even if your intentions are good - you just want to drop steam and maybe get some sympathy - it will never meet as bitter. There is no reason to shareallDetails of your divorce, especially public, especially if your following social media includes the old friends of high school, occasional knowledge barely know one of you and, the paradise forbidden, the teachers of your children.

As much as you may want a clean break, it will never be so easy. Even if you do not have children together and limited friends in common, cut a part of your life entirely that was so centralized. Learn to agree with their existence and even civil if you meet them again. It is a mark of maturity and this will facilitate your two lives.

Even if it was not a loss of monumental time - what makes you think exactly that you have the power to change the feelings of anyone about another person? -This does not give anything long term. This will not save your wedding or make you feel better at the end of the end. This will not make your children love you more, or make your friends more friendly. It simply reinforces the stupid and incorrect idea that there is a "winner" and "loser" in any divorce.

Whether with friends or a therapist, he could not be more important to have conversations about all complicated emotions swirling through your head. Having someone you trust to listen and understand without judgment, you will go further to improve your mood and your sense of self that you could never imagine.

If it's a pet that you care deeply, it's one thing. But do not fight with an ex on possessions who do not mean anything for you - you do not want you to only want for the little reason why they move empty. Before telling them, "no way isYou get that, "think long and hard to know what value do you affect yourself. Do you have a real sentimental attachment, or is another chance to hit your ex where it hurts?

No it does not do it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Crying means that you are human and you refuse that liberation is like going on an emotional hunger strike. These tears come out in one way or another, and you will feel better when you finally run them flow.

Even after your divorce has been finalized, some people feel obliged to hide their money in secret accounts, in case their ex-spouse comes up more. None good can come from that, especially if your hiding place is discovered. It is not because both of you can not live in a romantic way, nothing indicates that there should be no mutual trust. Be honest in everything, and you will both be happy at the end.

Are you going to really blow a holiday party because your ex could be invited too? You can avoid every birthday and Sunday barbecue and Thanksgiving meal for the rest of your life, or you can be correct with the fact that you and your ex can be in the same room at the same time and that the universe will collapse Not on himself. . Believe it or not, your friends really want to seethe twoof you.

Binge-eating could soothe temporarily, but all that comfort of food is just going on books and give you another reason to doubt your yourself. The only way to really get around is to learn to love you again, and you will not find this love at the bottom of a sponge cake.

If you felt a narrow attachment to your former father and mother-in-law, you disconnect from their lives could be as painful as the divorce itself. But keep this living relationship makes no good for you or anyone else. Getting around will not be possible for you or your ex If you call and dive permanently with their parents.

Even the best divorces are by nature disordered. It is because 100% of divorces arrive at human beings and that no human being is able to be completely rational and at any time. If you feel like your ex is unreasonable, it's probably because they are. And it's a good bet that you were unreasonable with them at some point. Give them the freedom to be vulnerable human now and again and they can do the same for you.

Some divorces are in black and white, where a partner did something so blatant (Infidelity comes to mind)that they are clearly responsible for the fall of marriage. But this is the exception rather than the rule. Most weddings fall into pieces for too complicated reasons to explain with the finger pointing. If you really reflected on the reasons for your divorce, you probably know that anything or a person is "to blame" for what happened is far too simplistic.

The only reason to say that you are sorry, it's if you did something wrong. To be divorced is not a scarlet letter or proof that you have somehow failed to live up to other expectations. A divorce is a course correction in life, not a mistake that you must justify anyone. Look at it like that: you were quite brave to realizethat your wedding did not work. It's not something to apologize, it's something worth feeling proud.

Do you discover that they have been moved to give you a closure or permission for you to start dating again? No, snoop on an ex to see if they become intimate with someone else will always lead to hurting feelings (yours) and, worse case, could train or do something you will regret almost immediately.

The keyword here is "displayed". If you have found love again, it's great! But if you just went out with someone because you know it will annoy your ex, and you get out of your way of scrolling in front of your old spouse, just rub their nose, then you make the polar opposite to move . You are small and aggressive passive. Even if your ex never discovers that you just do it to hurt them,youKnow and now it's something you have to live with.

Back to the gym is not just important because you want to avoid a post-divorce potbelly.A good workout will actually hunt the mental funk with a bad break. Exercise increases serotonin levels in your brain, which helps combat the symptoms of depression. If you do not feel more optimistic after an hour or two pulse acceleration exercises, you do not pay attention.

There are so many ways that it can play, and each of them is inappropriate and hostile. Appropriately being "too busy" for days when she needs to take warning you, bringing children much later than promised, forcing her to cancel plans or reorganize his schedule. Even when it is subtle, your ex knows exactly what you do, and it promotes a cycle of lack of respect and not to take into account what you can continue indefinitely, or at least until your children grow up And decide that they were manipulated in your divorce failures game.

The dark clouds can feel heavy on your head a few nights and you will want to stay at home and watch the pajamas television. It's good, but do not let him become a habit. When one night turns into several weeks and you have not left home, it's time to force you to put trousers and facing the outside world. You have just been surprised to know how nice it is to be surrounded by friends and share stories that have nothing to do with your divorce. You will feel again like a normal person, not just open open injury and you have adult conversations with other adults who do not care about your marital status will exactly the breath of fresh air you need .

Laughter is not just good for you, It could just cure a broken heart. Okay, then may not be technically abrokenheart, butAccording to the American Heart AssociationA laugh a day can reduce stress and anxiety and reduce the inflammation of the artery - all things that lead to better heart and coincidence, a faster divorce recovery. Do not laugh, or put in situations where you are less likely to laugh, it's like saying to the universe: "I would like to stay miserable for a little longer please!"

All divorces are unique, with very different circumstances and emotions and backstories. It can be catharic to talk to someone who is alsogone through a divorce, But only in the abstract. Do not compare your experiences, whether legal battles or financial colonies. The last thing you need is a very sensory friend to fill your head with paranoid thoughts that you have not pressed strong enough, otherwise you had the short end of the stick.

Atattoo Or corporal piercing may seem like a great way to celebrate your new independence. This announces in the world ", no one can tell me what to do!" While we appreciate the spirit of your gesture, you can feel differently about it in just a few months, when anger has been soothed and a tattoo of a horseback skeleton with the words "born to be single". feel pretty relevant.

If you are around happy married people uncomfortable, you plan to divorce in the wrong direction. You now disable all the concept of wedding, just the wedding witha particular person. Trust us about it, none of your married friends thinks, "We should not invite [your name]. I heard that he hated married people. "

"All this wine and this wine did not only make me less sad about my divorce, but also gave me the strength to believe in me again and to know that I am able to make smarter choices in the future" , said no one person.

Even after a divorce, there are invoices to pay and the dishes are washed and the laundry to bend. It might be difficult to feel motivated to make one of them, especially if some of these tasks are managed by your ex. But simply because they are not there to check the tire pressure and that the oil changed more on your car, it does not mean that you can let it slip. Life continues and you have to move with it.

Because what? Does he ask for help as if you admit a defeat? By the time you need someone to lighten your charge just a little, you're doing hardly a confession that you're not strong enough to survive alone in this world alone and what do you think you even think you think A divorce In the first place, you obviously need a partner to stand up and keep you drowning and, oh my god, are you doped and now everyone knows? To breathe. Breathe. It will go well. Nobody thinks that. We do not even know your friends and we can say safely, none of them think about it. Need help when you are divorced, it's like you need help when you're literally anyone else on the planet. It just means that you are human.

Do not misunderstand us, we do not suggest not to try new things or explore new interests when you try to make sense of your life as a divorced person. We simply say, maybe you're not going for the full relook of the personality. Do not become the person who suddenly speaks with a false British accent and listens only vinyl records ("it just sounds better, do you know?"). If you think it's a good idea to change your name in Daedalus and start wearing ascors, you may be a little too difficult to prune a different identity.

If the front door mat that once read "Welcome to our happy home" could be replaced by a carpet that reads "Abandon hopes that all those who enter here",You have a problem of optimism. You may not be openly fatalistic, but you probably do not look like something excitement in the future. It may not seem like a big deal, but feelings of optimism have been linked not only to happiness, but a longer and healthier life,According to some studies. You must find a reason to be curious and enthusiastic about where you are headed in life. If it does not feel like having something to hope, give you a reason to become your number one priority.

It is your first vacation as a single person and, perhaps, a single parent. You have always loved the decoration, but it can be the year you take things too far, covering every inch of water with garlands and white lights and flowers on top, so your house looks like a Christmas cabaret show in Las Vegas, because it's not enough just to show holiday spirit, you have to beThe most Christmas person who has ever experienced. This need for overcompensate is quite typical among the last divorced. Because they fear that the failure of their marriage stimulates like a painful inch, they must reveal all the other aspects of their life better than ever, happier and perfectly impeccable and perfect in all respects. You do not laugh anyone. Cut.

The emotions are delicate and they have ways to dissuade when we wait for them at least. It's good to be helpful and remember why you and your ex used to appearing as a good idea. But that's where this thought should stay, in your head. If you act on it, and finish between sheets with the previously known person under the name of your spouse, this will only complicate your two lives. Nobody wakes up, realizes that they are in bed with an ex, and think: "Oh, well, now the fact that our relationship is finished does not sticking so much."

If you have a mental list of all the ways you have been wrong since the divorce, by your ex, your friends of your ex,Divorce lawyer, Your old businesses, the people who said they had your back, but it seemed to be back from your ex more than yours, and the dry cleaner that does not give you the promotion of the family, you have to stop . This list is worthless and it weighs you only. Crush it and discard it and do not consider it again.

After a divorce, your work can feel like a raft of life. This is the thing that keeps you afloat, which prevents you from drowning in an ocean of self-pity and lawyer invoices. But do not let him become your all. If you areRespond to working emails 24/7 And you do not remember the last weekend that you took a break, you leave your career define you. Carve a little time for you, and for your friends and family, and for the people you have not met yet, who could become the next reason why you can not wait to leave the job and return to the House.

Living alone can be alone, there is no doubt about it. But it's not the only emotion that comes with living alone. It would be like summarizing theExperience to be an astronaut With, "it happens a little cold in Spacesuit." There is so much more than that. Living alone can really challenge your ability to see the good side of things, find a better answer to this eternal question, "your glass is half full or half empty?" If living alone is your only option (for now), you have to discover what is fun about it, what is full and happy and stupid. Not what makes you sad.

No, do not even let the thought enter your mind. Just stop it. Absolutely not. Are you a glutton for punishment? The meeting of the friends of an ex is like treating a scratched knee by striking several times in the face with a shovel. That's exactly as much meaning.

In the crowd of people, claiming to give you advice on how to divorce happiness, do not pay too much attention to the obvious cynics, who will try to fill your brain with paranoid illusions on the futility of marriage and the way you should 'I did this a long time ago, andblah blah blah. Their cynicism is a defense mechanism and they really have no idea what they are talking about. Similarly, stay away from the other end of the spectrum, the romantics without hope that want to remind you that your true love awaits you at the corner of the street and does not give up hope in the happiness of the couplingom, andblah blah blah. The place where you need to live right now is somewhere in the middle: just quite cynical to protect your heart and just hoping that you notice the light of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Divorce sometimes stands out the worst in everyone, including yourself. But it can also teach you about the power of humility and how much can be won to recognize that we all make mistakes and we are all worthy of forgiveness. A good place to start is to forgive you. We are all too eager to rationalize and apologize for our behavior rather than just admit when we were wrong. Once you are able to recognize your faults and forgiving yourself, you will be more open to do the same for others.