Is it "gourmand" to want a third-party child in 2019? Experts weigh in

All that is twice parents need to know


Made: fewer people in the United States have babies ever before. There were only 60.2 births for 1,000 women of childbearing age last year,According to the data from the National Center for Health Statistics. It is down 3% from 2016. and their reasons are as varied as you expect, financial constraints to global volatility concerns and population growth. Interestingly, they did not entirely prevent parenting. In aNew York Timesinvestigation Last summer, 54% of respondents reported having fewer children because they wanted "more time for children than I".

It's food to think of anyone, but especially parents plan to have a third child. After all, if you agree with aThink Tank, It is no longer responsible for the environment, from a perspective of the population - for a family bringing more than two children in the world. And given the breeding costs of children, the term"Third child status symbol" is really one thing. But in 2019, we can not help but ask: is it enough to simply "want" a third child - or do you need a justifiable reason to bring another human being in the world where you are already so lucky to have two?

We talked to several experts and studied research on what this third child actually means for the biggest image. For your consideration, here are the two most convincing arguments, for why you must absolutely add a third-party child to your brood and why you may want to think twice before becoming a parent for the third time.

Why you should not have a third child

Having your first child can bring happiness and unconditional love, unlike anything you have ever experienced before. You get the same joy jumper with your second child. But according to a2014 study From the London School of Economics and Political Science, parents do not know the same feeling of overwhelming happiness with the arrival of their third child.

"It's not to suggest that they are less loved than their older brothers and sisters," the co-author of the Mikko Myrskylä study. "Instead, this can reflect that parenthood experience is less new and exciting at the time of the birth of the third child."

This also brings more stress. ATodaySpectacle investigation In 2013, who questioned more than 7,000 mothers, discovered that the third child is significantly more stressful than simply having one or two. Surprising, a third even trained more stress than to havefour or more children. The increase in stress was caused by exactly what you think: financial concerns, the additional commitment to care and attention, and all the rest that presents with the breeding of a child.

Why parents feltless Stress with four or more children is open to debate. It is possible that with three, parents feel the extra burden of two, but with four or more children, you already treat with a crowd so what is we still? Your assumption is as good as ours.

Apart from your own happiness and stress, there is also the question of what bringing another human being in the world will mean in a wider sense. A2017 study The letters published in the environmental research letters have suggested that fewer children - as well as other behaviors, such as flying and driving less and collaborate on a plant-based diet - could have a huge impact on the fight against the climate change. Researchers have calculated that carbon emissions should fall by at least two tonnes of CO2 per person by 2050 to avoid serious environmental consequences and currently emissions are about 16 tonnes per person each year at Only American.

But just have one less child could reduce these carbon emissions up to 58 tons, according to their conclusions. "It comes from a life cycle perspective," said Kimberly Nicholas, Professor Swedish at the University of Lund and one of the research team. "It represents all the climate impacts that a child would do in their lives and in the lives of their descendants."

In simple terms, she adds, "in countries with high rates of emissions, adding more people adds much more carbon to the atmosphere - and their children will add even more."

Alistair Currie, a spokesman forPopulation issues, a charitable concerned about sustainability and the population, said more people choose to have smaller families because they realize that it is not just a personal decision.

"Their decisions affect everyone," he says. "Those who are held to take advantage of the decision to have small families are the children we have, of course. They will inherit problems that we create and we need to give them the best chance of solving them. "

Why you should have a third child

If your main concern about having a third child is how much it will cost, you can be a nice surprise. Yes, raising a child comes with inevitable expenses. But according to the most recent estimates of the USDA, the parents of a single child spend about 27% of their child's livestock spending and that this percentage increases to 41% when they have two children. But once a third child is added to the combination, the overall expense to elevate all three represents only 47% of their annual expenses.

Now granted, it's always a lot of money. But it is a difference of 6% between the number of two children and the number of children number three. In other words, if you had serious concerns about the fact that you can allow you to be a parent, you would probably have stopped you before going to two children.

Why is the number so low? Many expenses are mitigated with a third child because you are already well prepared, with everything, baby gear as car seats and cradles with clothes. "There is definite economies of scale," said Laura Vanderkam, mother of four children and author of books likeOff Clock: Feel less busy for more. "Children can share rooms. Children can wear hands. They can play with older brothers and sisters. We joined various zoos / museums of our region and usually the price is the same for four children That it would be for one. We send our children to public school and it's the same cost (our land taxes), no matter how many children you have. "

Another huge advantage: you will be the best parent that you are able to be in Kid number three. All insecurities that come with a first time parent have disappeared. You know what you are doing now, and you are not as terrified as something horrible will come to your child when you turn your head.

"You get worse parents with every child," explained the Linda Blair Clinical Psychologist in an interviewWith the BBC. "So, the third cycle grows up with more relaxed borders. These are the children most likely to be creative and risk takers. They can try anything. This third child has a lot of people to watch." (Or, according to a parent in the wonderful film of 1989Parenthood, "By the third child, you know, you let them juggle with knives.") And this third child will probably keep you in stitches. According toSearch in Yugov46% of people with brothers and sisters claimed that the third child of their families was by far the funniest, the funniest, not to mention the most casual and easiest.

But there is always the subject matter of guilt. Are youreally Help destroy the planet with this third child? It can really go down to the perspective. The person who leads the automatic gas-window view that pumps carbon dioxide in the air makes it clear for selfish reasons. The person who takes more airplane trips than in need or eats a heavy diet in the meat. But raising a child? It can add to our carbon footprint. But this also comes from a place of optimism about the future.

As a psychologist Lyn Bender aexplained in an interview, have children is "a supreme act of hope, even if you do not realize it."

Humans have always encountered dangers at their survival, ranging from wars to natural disasters. But we managed to persevere despite everything. "When you hear that by 2050, there will be a level of sea level level or extreme weather events, you mentally calculate the age of your children or grandchildren," says Bender. But perhaps your third child will grow to become a climate change scientist, someone at the forefront in reducing emissions and finding solutions to our global crisis, she says. A car will never change the world, but a child is always able to do it.

But beyond all this, the decision to dispose or not having a third child does not consist in making the most tight case in the air. All the logic of the world can not replace your own biology.

"You can not close this problem as long as your body closes"says Blair.

Women who decide not to have a third child, even if their natural instincts could be again to be pregnant, have "succeeded in allowing the logic to replace their emotions," according to Blair. "The best way to think about this can be rationally being to ask you:" Should I serve the best goals of all people here and my partner? "

And that, at the end of the day, is the only question that really matters. And however many children you choose to have, be sure to read theseBrilliant means of being a much happier parent.


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