Good Lifestyle

We are lucky to live in a country with one of the largest natural resources in the world. I speak of course comedians. We have more comedy icons, per capita than any other nation in the world. Previous legends likeGroucho Marx andLenny Bruce to the masters of the modern comedy asChris Rock andDavid LettermanPithy observations on modern life are what keeps us out of mind and reminds us that laughter will always be the best cure. Here are fifty comedy jokes of some of our greatest comedy icons. For more laughs, check these30 times famous people dissened other celebrities hilariously.

"Proof that we do not understand death is that we give a deadly pillow." And for more comedy jokes, check30 memes the most funny of all time.

"I used to work at McDonald's minimum wage. Do you know what it means when someone pays you a minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say?" Hey, if I could pay you less, I would do it, but it's against the law. '"And for more comedy jokes of Chris Rock, check the30 most funny celebrity pieces.

"Do you know what I like most on baseball? Pine tar, resin, grass, dirt. And it's just in hot dogs." And for more hot dogs, discoverThe top 9 Meccas of fatty foods to visit before dying.

"I do not like country music, but I do not want to denigrate those who do it. And for those who love country music, denigrate ways to" set up "for more great campaign music, check the30 most funny lines of country songs.

"I like a woman with a head on his shoulders. I hate the neck." And for more comedy jokes, read on25 Monty Python One-Linders always relevant today.

"The tragedy is when I cut my finger. The comedy is when you fall in an open sewer and die." OF! And keeping pleasure in going, do not miss this hilarious round of the40 funny things that everyone has secretly done.

"The depressing thing about tennis is that, no matter how much I play, I will never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They are implacable." And for more big jokes, check the50 Knock Knock jokes guaranteeing to crack.

"I can not believe we always give clothes as a gift. Because every time you get clothes like a gift, you always open it and you think, not even closely. And the person who gives C ' is always like that, you can pick it up if you do not like it. "It's good. I'm just going to throw it. Do not give me a race."

"I just want a bit a light brown hill. If you could put my lunch in a mixer and liquefy it, then put it in a caulking weapon and inject it directly into my femoral arterial, even better! But until What you are inventing a lunch gun, I would like a stack of failure in a bowl of sadness! "For recording, no: that glop is not one of the40 cardiac foods to eat after 40 years.

"As a man is pretty wise to watch his step, it's too old to go anywhere."

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you do not need it."

"I have a lot of growing up. I realized that the other day of my fort." And for more better jokes of all time, here is the50 Papa jokes so bad they are actually hilarious.

Gracie: "Have you ever knew that my uncle Otis ran for the municipal councilor of San Francisco? Oh, and which campaign he put!"

George: "embraced all babies, huh?"

Gracie: "Well, no, why should he? In San Francisco, very few babies are old enough to vote."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"I have enough money to last the rest of my life ... unless you buy something." Have your expenses left out? Register your budget with these14 money saving habits that you need to adopt this year.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"Accept who you are. Unless you are a serial killer."

"I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I succeed." For more comedy jokes on wedding humor, checkThe 30 most funny celebrity things said about marriage.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"The very existence of flaming launchers proves that somewhere, somewhere, someone said to themselves, you know, I want to put these people there on the fire, but I'm just just Not close enough to do the job. " And for more laughs, do not miss the40 facts so funny are hard to believe.

"After stopping drinking, I realized that I am the same [jerk] I have always been; I just had fewer bumps in my car."

"Thirty ways to form the summer. Number one: Eat less. Number Two: Exercise Plus. Number Three: What was I still? I'm so hungry." If you prefer not to prolong the weight loss process (such as Maria),This is the safest way to lose weight fast.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"If God really had the age of flying, it would have easier to go to the airport." If you actually do it at your flight, it's the15 things you should never do on a plane.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"If you think that no one cares about you, try missing a few payments."

"The problem of life is that, at the moment when you can read women like a book, your library card has expired."

"I went home with this French guy" because he said something adorable, like "I have an apartment." "

"I grew up in New York in a neighborhood called Washington Heights. It's not really a ghetto; it's a suburb of ghetto. The slums with trees. Even birds do not know how to fly, they do not know Steal trees and bother people. 'Tweet-Tweet, sucker. Give me a quarter.' "

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"There was a point in time when we were in (Disneyland) where I lost my daughter. But I finally knew I would run it again, so I took this time to make walks she could not Continue. When I saw her she cried. I was like it's not your birthday. Today is not about you. ""

"I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it was not really a date date. We just eaten dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"Twenty years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we do not have money, no hope or any job. Please do not leave Kevin Bacon die." And for more good comedy jokes of Bill Murray, here is his30 most hilarious meetings.

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheats in Europe."

"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always thought if you have enough money, you can have a key made." For registration, no, it's not one of70 genius tips to become instantly happy.

"Racism is not born, people, it is taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps. End of the list."

"Never trust a preacher with more than two costumes."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"I dating a homeless woman. It was easier to talk about staying over."

"If the presidency is the head of the American political organization, the congress is its gastrointestinal tract."

"I like to play chess with older men in the park, although it's hard to find 32 of them."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"Everyone can be confident with a full hair head. But a confident bald man -There are Your diamond in the rough. "

"I went to a restaurant that serves" breakfast at any time ". So I ordered the French toast during the Renaissance."

"If it turns out that there is a god, I do not think it's bad. I think the worst you can say about him is that it's basically underperformance."

"Housework will not kill you. But again, why take the luck?"

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance, wait for the bathroom."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"My wife always tries to get rid of me. Last night, she told me to put the garbage. I told him that I already did it. She told me to keep a look on it."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"I have a low self-esteem; when we were in bed together, I fantasize that I was someone else." To keep your bedroom, the game strong (and stay yourself), try them30 Sizzling new sex games All couple should play.

"I'm 83 years old, and I feel like a 20 year old, but unfortunately, there is never one."

"I'm going to tell you now - someone walked here and told me that I just gained at the lottery, I'm going out in the middle of this joke." To your chances of winning the lottery, keep in mind thatThese are the most common Powerball winning numbers.

"I have never heard with my father. The children arrived at me and say," My father can beat your father. "I would say 'yes? When?' "

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Criminal: your money or your life ...
Benny: [pause.]
Criminal: looking, bud. I said your money or your life.
Benny: I think it's happening.

Keep your money out of your pockets and in wiser sales, checkThe tastiest investment moves to do right now.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"Well, if God drinks, do you think God is stupid from time to time? [JUST] Watch the ornithoryrynque!"

"I look at the husbands in the same way that I look at the tattoos. I want one, but I can not decide what I want and I do not want to be stuck with someone, I'll just grow up to hate And have to have surgically removed later. "Are you still looking for your next partner? Relax and enjoy these30 reasons why be single in your thirties is the best thing to do.

"Last night was so cold, the blinks in New York were described only."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. Of the second day, you have become."

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

"Outside a dog, a book is the best friend of a man. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

Channel your internal central genius with these30 great glaciers that are always hilarious.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

To discover more incredible secrets about the life of your best life,Click hereRegister for our free daily newsletter!