17 signs of relationship problems that you should never ignore

These small red flags that you can no longer ignore.


Each relationship has its ups and downs. The challenge for most people, however, is when a "down" is actually just a routine bump on the road and not a larger, deeper question. And if you are not careful, which may seem like a minor hiccup you might be the thing that causes your other significant to throw the sponge.

To avoid being blinded by yourpartner their luggageWe talked to psychologists and relationship specialists who spell some of the relationship signs of the relationship you should never ignore.

Your students do not dilate each other.

An easy way to see if your partner still has a crush for you? Just look in the eyes, saysPatti Wood, An expert in body language. "When you aresexually attracted to someone, Your students dilate in a moment of intimacy. It happens unconsciously, so it is a good indicator of your other significant interest for you, "says woodGood Housekeeping.

You have stopped fighting.

In the early stages of your relationship, these heated debates you and your partner clearly indicated that there was a lot of fire between the two of you. Now, the fact that the fighting has ceased quite could evoke a new reality disturbance: that neither one of you is invested in the relationship more.

"Coexistence is a silent killer," saysSonya Kreizman, Co-founder and CEO ofJCrush, An application for meetings for Jewish singles. "When you two become indifferent and enjoyable instead of fighting with passion for what you believe should change in the relationship, it is a sign of the relationship could head towards the end. Some small disagreements help you grow as a couple, making you both happier in the long-term relationship. And for more distress signals of the relationship you should be able to identify, check these23 The main signs of wedding cloud Shocking Number of people only see.

You are both having committed financial infidelity.

Do not get me wrong: Financial tank issues can a relationship just as quickly as physical or emotional infidelity. If you start noticing that your partner has hidden their expense habits from you, it could point to a more important ditch in your relationship.

"Financial infidelity refers to secret behavior related to money, whether it is the secret of money aside or secretly capped sales of credit cards," explainsSean Messier, A credit industry analystCredit Card Insider. "While financial independence in the early stages of a relationship is healthy and expected, long-term partners should generally make financial decisions that affect both parties. Financial infidelity could indicate that the objectives differ considerably from your partner of yours and who is an important sign that your relationship could be in difficulty ".

Your main values ​​differ.

When you have encountered, the fact that your fundamental values ​​do not exactly align may not seem like a major obstacle block but now this incompatibility seems heavily on your mind. Maybe you had hoped they would change your mind onChildren who want After a few years of dating, or come around to get married, move abroad for work, or support you if you go back to school. In any case, this incompatibility could report the end of your relationship, saysAdina Mahalli, A certified relationship expert for Maple Holistics.

"While it's normal to diverge on some points of view, you and your partner must agree on the same large values," she says. "Your basic values ​​set is what you guide in life. Whether or not both as Chinese food is not going to do or undo the relationship, but something like wanting to start a power of the family. If you and your partner dispute on the big values, your relationship could be in trouble ".

You are looking actively to sweat the little things.

If you or your partner seem to suddenly take pleasure in creating struggles out of the air, which you advocate on how theycharged the dishwasherOr the way they are chewing their food, which is an infallible sign of your relationship is not on solid foundations.

"When couples seem to argue on the most insignificant things, they probably seek for this drop of water that is overflowing the camel," saysLawrence Siegel, Clinical sexologist and founder of theSage Institute for Family Development. "At this point, there is often a lot of passive-aggressive crawling behavior, like small subtle blows to push it or move it away. There is so much resentment build that it is difficult to come back. »

You have stopped the other ventilation.

Do you forget that when your other person was the only person you wanted to evacuate about all the drama of life? If that seems like you prefer to talk to other people about what's going on in your life, it can mean that you have a rocky road to come, according to the relationship and the expert sexDr. Kat Van Kirk.

"You can stop asking for advice and comments on major and minor life situations. This means that one of you may have developed a friendship or a different relationship - which serves for this purpose, or if you Do not trust other comments anymore, "says.

You do not trust yourself.

If your other significant can not run to the grocery store without being suspect, or if you never give a direct answer to who you arereally SMS, the confidence you need to create a strong relationship is not there and early enough, your partner could either.

"Any relationship, whether romantic or not, is based on the basis of trust. In this spirit, if you and your partner did not trust you, your relationship could have problems. Whether it's your Partner or your partner, you have to deal with your trusted problems in order to have a chance to a healthy relationship, "said Mahalli. If your trusted problems arise from infidelity, financial problems or your own anxiety , if you want to keep your relationship intact, it's time to go to the heart of the problemwith a therapist or through a serious soul looking for your partner.

You are always on the defensive.

"If you find that you are still on the defense with your partner, it's not a good sign. Your other significant should be someone who feeds your growth and helps you be the best version of yourself, not From someone who you need to explain or excuse you. If you are on the defense more often than no, it's a red flag that your relationship is in difficulty, "says Mahalli. And if your relationship is on his last legs, make sure you know these20 surprising things that can cheat someone.

You avoid long-term conversations.

At the beginning of the stages of your relationship, it could have been natural to discuss the future. Now, none of you are ready to participate in these discussions on the future - and that could mean that your relationship is in its final phases, according toCelia Schweyer, an expert on meetings and relations toDataingScout.com,.

"It is either that they sound hesitant or dodge the subject completely when they make critical plans for the future, for example to move together, marriage or have children. This red flag is also applicable on small planes Whether you could do with your partner. They will seem shortly with the idea of ​​having trips with your family or spending a holiday together, "she says.

You make no effort to see you with everyone's friends and family.

If your partner seems to drag your feet when it comes to spending time with your friends and family, this can be a sign that your relationship is in a perilous territory.

"If your partner is constantly an excuse for not getting to know the important people in your life, he might not be too invested to get to knowyou. He or she does not necessarily love everyone in your circle. But they must, at the very least, make an effort to respect you and your relationship with your loved ones, "says Schweyer.

You are never present when you are around the other.

AsKevon Owen, a psychotherapist clinical adviser and relationships, explains how you spend your time when your partner is a good indication of your feelings towards them. So, if you areConstantly on your phone Or distract with other things while you are with your other significant, it shows them that you do not value your time with them - and possibly that you do not like them as a person, either.

"Your choices reveal your priorities," says Owen. "Do you choose time together? Are you choosing to make your entire attention when you are together? Or do you choose careers, friends and distractions? Do you choose to watch a person or screen phone?"

You are happier when they are not there.

Go, if you're reallyhappier when your other significant is not aroundIt is difficult to do a deal for your investment in the relationship. If one of you feel this way, it might be time to call it. If you are jumping at virtually an opportunity to spend time without your partner, it's time to understand why this is the case - or you could end up witha lot Plus solo time.

Their friends are now cold and remote.

As your partner belongs simply that in you, their friends tend to follow from the pursuit, according to Lavelle. If they used to you to love you, but act now fashionable every time you come to, it could mean that your other significant has already expressed his misfortune in the relationship - and perhaps even to detail their project to leave you.

"Their friends can be a big tell," said Lavelle. "If their friends suddenly turn cold or remote, it can be an index that they spoke and a movement or a break is in your future."

Your relationship looks more like an obligation.

If your relationship looks more like a punishment than something you are looking forward to participating actively, it's time to re-evaluate if your head is really in the game (because it's probably not). However, if you have been with your other significant for some time,Cut the links with them is easier saying that. In fact, according to a2016 study Published inCurrent psychologyPeople are more likely to stay in relationships with which they have already invested time and effort. This is the relationship version of the investment phenomenon known as "Sunk cost effect".

However, no matter how long your relationship in your relationship, stay with someone only because you feel an obligation of them is never a good choice and will only make you unhappy in the long run.

Your relationship lacks physical contact.

Not only have you stopped showing the more subtle signs of affection, as if you hold hands and cuddle each other on the couch, it seems like it seems likeyour sex life A has been stopped being fun and exciting - or it is totally non-existent. According to Schweyer, this lack of physical contact could arouse problems for your relationship.

"Sex plays an important role in a relationship. It's more than just an activity you do at once, but also a clear demonstration ofIntimacy between you and your partner, "Schweyer said." Unless you both have a valid reason, why you skip activity in bed, you should start checking the status of your relationship. "

You feel alone.

If your relationship is in difficulty, you will probably find that even when you are with your other significant, you do not havefeel less lonely only when flying solo. "If you feel alone even when you are together and you feel as if your partner does not have your back, it's incredibly lonely," says Kreizman.

Your libidoses are no longer compatible.

If you are constantly trying to initiate privacy with someone who always rebates your progress, or if you will end up early to avoid your partner, this incompatibility means that your relationship - both in and out of the Bed is out of synchronization.

"Couples are seriously challenged when there is a libido gap that can not be bridged," saysIan Kerner, Ph.D., approved marriage and family therapist and author ofShe comes first. "When a partner feels persistently rejected and the other partner feels suspended persistently, it's a failure recipe. I've seen many relationships fail because of the divergence of desire." So be open with your partner on why you're not interested and suggest that they do the same thing - or maybe you may leave that left before you know. And if you want to reign your romance, start with these 40 secrets of couples who were married 40 years .

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