20 greatest regrets almost all parents have

Unfortunately, there are no flags.


Ask yourself to any parent and they will tell you: raising children in decent human beings - preferably those who work regularly, pay their bills on time and come out occasionally at home for a holiday - is not a feat easy. However, regardless of the number of parental books you read or attend yoga classes, even parents who seem to be things that have uncertainties have uncertainties about how they highlight the next generation.

"Have regrets is natural and universal for all good parents. When something is important to us, it leaves us vulnerable to doubts, worries and regrets," says the approved clinical psychologistDr. Inna Khazan, Ph.D. "It's like two sides of the same coin - if being a good parent is important for you, if you like your child, you will end up worrying and regretting the mistakes you have made. Each parent makes mistakes, It is also universal. It is also universal. Just does not mean that making mistakes or have regrets makes you a bad parent. "

School assemblies missed at these times when your temperament got the best of you, these regrets are virtually universal for any parent. And when you want to improve your own parenting game, master them40 parental breeding hacks of an incredible child.

1
They did not put aside enough time.

child looks upset as her parents check phones

Yes, it's the big one. Whether you are a parent at home or you spend 60 hours a week in an office, almost all parents feel like you have spent more time with their children. "With so many requests about the time of the parents, there is never enough time. It is of course so important to spend time together," Khazan said.

However, just because you are running in time, you want your kids should be short when it comes to your attention. "Occupied parents could find small ways to spend time with their children on particularly busy days. If there is more than one child in the family, a child with every child would feel really good for a walk before the bed, read a book, tells a story of your day, do a meditation together, play a card game. None of these activities need to take a lot of time, but they will give the parent and the child a way to connect and engage each other. "And when you want to get the most out of your time as a parent, consult these10 parental secrets of an All-Star father.

2
They compared their children too much to other children.

Parents on a Playdate Awkward Moments
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All children will not be a sports star or excel academically, and it's good - adults have their own strengths and children should have the same courtesy. That said, it's hard not to compare your children with other children from time to time, although this can lead to serious regrets later. If you expect your child to have exactly the same skill as their peers - or even worse, push them to live up to the norm of another child - you do not just put the stress on them, you also give them on their innate forces and do not promote them.

3
They did not save enough for the college.

woman saving money Facts About Millennials
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The average tuition for a private college in the United States clarified $ 34,000 in 2018 and the middle school graduate leaves their Alma Mater with $ 37,172 debt. Unfortunately, these figures lead to a great regret for many parents: do not save a sufficient amount of money to ensure the educational future of their child. In fact, according toMarketWatch, only 48% of parents save for a college at all and ainvestigation Suggests that only 32% of Americans know what a plan of 529 (ie college-economies) is. And when you want to stimulate your savings, learn these40 ways easy to stretch your paycheck.

4
They put too much pressure on them - too often.

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Having your children engaged in a variety of activities is a great way to understand what they are passionate. However, as many parents come true - and regret - pack the day of your child to the gills can have a detrimental effect. In fact, research at Colorado University in Boulder suggests that children enjoying a less structured game game are more capable of meeting their own goals and display higher levels of long executive operation. term.

5
They were not consistent.

Eating chocolate
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Parents know how difficult it is to maintain consistency when you treat daily daily: One day, your kids eat vegan meals, macrobiotics, next, it's ice cream for breakfast. Although it may feel soon - impossible to maintain exactly the same standards for your daily children, we have not tried to often do major regrets for parents. Although this is not always easy to do, having consistent standards defines a solid foundation for your children and can decrease some of these regrets parents tend to have about their parental flip-flange later in the line.

6
They shouted too much (and too strong).

Dad Yelling at Child
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This happens to us the best of us: we get angry or frustrated and we find our voices, even when we do not want. Unfortunately, these moments of parents find themselves shouting to their children can come back to haunt long-term. In addition to being the source of a serious regret, the researchers at the University of Pittsburgh have linked a difficult verbal discipline with a greater risk of depression later in life.

7
They did not say "I love you" enough.

parents punishing child
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Saying "I love you" to your children is an easy way to make them feel safe, loved and appreciated. However, if you cash you communicate how you probably feel like regretting it in the long run. "Parents know they love their children and sometimes believe that children would simply be loved," says Dr. Khazan. However, just accept that you feel that this way is hardly enough. "It's really important to say the words" I love you "to children," she says. And when you want to know why your parents seemed to have so much more easily, discover these20 ways of parenting is different from it was 20 years ago.

8
They offered too many non-constructive criticisms.

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Parents want to shape their children in successful and productive humans, but sometimes even the most conscientious parents offer criticism of their less useful children - and live to regret it. From these moments where you have noticed a note from your child on the appearance of your child to those critical, but not useful, comments on their dating habits, parents often feel a serious regret of these comments compared to to anger or fear rather than an effective desire to help.

9
They treated them like small adults.

Talking to children about serious issues

As difficult as it is to accept, children are not only tiny adults: they have different needs, different emotions and different capacities. Unfortunately, for many parents, it is difficult to relate in this spirit, which leads many parents regretting the way they pushed their children to behave. Although it's nice to imagine that your children will always be obedient, charming and willing to learn, it is rarely the case, and many parents regret trying to bring their children to comply with their unreasonable standards. Long term.

10
They spoiled them rotten.

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Nobody wants to look back and say that they spoiled their children, leading many parents to regret the choices they have made when lifting their children. Although there is no unique gift or behavior that will spoil a child, a constant overinforcement model can definitely predict a future of regret when they still ask for compensation at 30 years.

11
They forced values.

father yelling at son
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Each parent wants their child to have values, but trying to push your specific values ​​about your children does not usually work in the long run. At the end of the day, the children will decide what their priorities are and might simply solve you to try to force your own values ​​in the throat.

12
They were too controlled.

father helping children with schoolwork

While many parents regret to ruin their children, just as much, if not, will come to feel remorse for their dictatorial behavior around their children. Although it is undeniably important to fix borders for children, creating apparently arbitrary rules on how they dress, to whom they hang with what they ate, or how they should live their lives. that adults will finally be reached.

13
They spent too much time watching screens.

child sulks at parents flip through phones.

We are undeniably addicted to our aircraft: in fact, research suggests that US adults spend up at five hours per phone every day. Unfortunately, it often leads to serious parental regrets - all these hours that you depend on social media verification are inevitably times when you miss your children.

14
They do not have enough to try new things.

forming an alliance with their mom helps kids emotional growth
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In adulthood, it's easy to meet you stuck in a rut when it comes to places where you go, activities you participate and people you see. For many parents, this can create significant regrets because the years pass, not only these missed opportunities, inevitably mean that you are changing the chances of expanding your child's horizons, you also configure them potentially to stay stuck in the same schemas as Adults.

15
They ignored the emotional needs.

mom comforting crying child
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Children have different emotional needs that adults and many parents find themselves regretted all the time they ignored this fundamental truth. Few people look at each other with tenderness at the time they told a crying child to "get out" or in charge of a young child to "stop acting like a baby". And if you want to raise a healthy child emotionally, make sure you split these40 things you should never tell your child.

16
They did not take enough personal time.

woman alone on couch crying into pillow

While many parental regrets are related to the act of parenthood itself, as many parents wishing to have taken longer for themselves. Although parenthood offers few breaks, it is essential to take those of your schedule. "It is important for children to see their parents engage in significant activities, whether work or fun," says Khazan.

17
They were waiting for perfection.

Father fighting with son

Most parents do not consider the times when they scolded their child for a test of 95 on a test or forced them to practice the piano until their hands are narrow as long-term parenting victories. However, spending too much time thinking about how you should have handled a situation will not do much better.

"Parents want what's best for their children. They want to be parents they can be. But things often do not go according to the plan, and they do not always live on their own expectations," said Khazan . "When parents do not get room for a mistake, they spend a lot of time hitting on themselves for mistakes, they are likely to lose the opportunity to enjoy the positive points."

18
They did not believe their children.

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Of course, some children cry wolf on virtually a daily basis. That said, parents often regret the times they did not believe when their children said they were hurt, ignored them when they said they were afraid, or doubted their concerns about things like their security and their well-being.

19
They did not read enough.

dad son and grandfather reading book

These times you put your children in bed instead of reading themJump on popSo that the thousandth time can simply become one of your greatest parenting regrets over time. Without just reading aloud a way to promote cognitive development among young children, CPU researchers Santa Cruz found that reading was an even more effective way to build a child's vocabulary than to have Regular conversations with them.

20
They had only children because they felt in a hurry.

you can't understand me is something no husband wants to hear
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All parenting regrets do not occur after your children arrive. In fact, more and more parents regret the choice of having children starting. While the pressure of society always plays a major role in convincing people that family life is necessarily for them, if you do not want to look at your parental experience with a serious regret, it is essential that you make the decision of Have children depending on your own wants and needs, rather than what others think.

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Categories: Relationships
Tags: Parenthood
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