11 compliments coated that you should never say
There is a fine line between a compliment and an insult. Avoid these compliments coated at all costs.
Notall The compliment is a kind. Even people with the best intentions can deliverwhat they think is a complimentBut finish offensing someone in the process. And it's particularly common whenthese compliments are on the eyes of someone else. Avoid accidentally insulting a family member, a friend, a colleague or a stranger with aCompliment, pay attention to these "compliments" that are anything but.
1 "You are superb. Have you lost weight?"
We often hear that being slim should be our goal, when in reality, it should be healthy. Ask if the lost weight of someone reinforces this pressure and can make them feel as if you think you look thinner.
What you should say instead: "Are you superb! What's new with you?"
If the person you are talking about is willing to share their diet and exercise, they will do so. And if not, it gives them the chance to talk about themselves in general.
2 "You look amazing for your age."
It may seem like agreat complimentBut the "for your age" nailed on makes it good sense and therefore much less authentic.
What you should say instead: "You lookfantastic! "
If someone looks great - and it's appropriate to say, of course they say that without making it aSpecific age compliment.
3 "Your skin looks so much better!"
If you have noticed that acne, hyperpigmentation or other problem of your colleague's skin, you can bet they have done too - if you turn offCompliment.
What you should say instead: "You are glowing!"
To say "better" makes clear that you thought there was a "worse" at some point.
4 "I can not believe you just had a child. You look amazing!"
The idea that moms are perpetually trying to lose weight for baby, are uniformly covered with spitting and are more likely to have a beather in their purse than a hairbrushmore than a little insulting. Parenting does not mean that someone's standards for their appearance steal the window.
What you should say instead: "You are very beautiful!"
Just leave the kids!
5 "You have a big smile, use it!"
Tell someone to smile, it's a kind of telling someone to laugh - it's not really the way happiness works. Ask people to look happy will not make them happier. Sometimes people have bad days and their faces reflect that. This is not your place to correct how they feel.
What you should say instead: "Is everything alright?"
If someone looks angry, try to ask them about it instead of simply telling them not to be sad.
6 "True women have curves."
As you think this sentence would make your friend Curvy or your family member feel better about their body, he sends the message that thinner women are somehow less feminine. And there is no reason to tear someone downstairscompliment someone else.
What you should say instead: "It looks great on you!"
Instead of making someone feel that someone wants to focus on their particular body and attributes (which makes them potentially uncomfortable in the process), give them a plusCompliment This does not pose someone else's body along the way.
7 "You have such an exotic appearance."
"Exotic" is a very best used term for fish fish or chicken, not people. With regard to humans, the word can often look like a call offensive of someone's appearance or heritage, indicating that you think the way they look like is somehow non-standard.
What you should say instead:"I like your style."
This provides theRecipient of your compliment An opening to discuss their background, if they see fit. Or they can just tell you about keeping they wear, if that's what they interpret what you say instead.
8 "You have such strong features!"
Once again, the involvement here is that you are not reallygive someone a complimentBut rather highlighting what is "unusual" about their appearance. Similarly, call someone a "unconventional beauty" does not have the same positive ring that just calls someone "beauty".
What you should say instead:"I like your [insertion function]!"
If someone has a particularly striking functionality, tell them that you admire it rather than simply using a cover descriptor, especially the one that could be perceived as negative.
9 "Your hair is beautiful. Is this real?"
The hair can be a hot button, especially for people of color, which are frequently on the end of two contradictory messages, often discriminatory: as their hair in its natural state are not beautiful and that their chosen alternative (like Scarves or braids) is also not.
What you should say instead: "I love your hair."
If you think someone's hair look awesome, you can tell them that without asking them to discuss the subtleties thereof.
10 "You're superb, but not too muscular."
It's not because someone does not have a six pack or bouté biceps does not mean they do not do dozens of crunchy or loops a day. For all you know, they could try to build muscles but difficulties.
What you should say instead: "What do you like to do at the gym?"
If the person you are talking about has an exercise plan that they love, it gives them the opportunity to tell you everything.
11 "You're so brave to wear that."
What you say: "Brave." What people hear: "It does not seem good."
What you should say instead: "I like this outfit!"
If you try tocompliment someone, Do not make it look a certain article of clothing or makeup style is in one way or another social norms.
