23 things it's good to say small white lies in good health, according to experts

Sometimes a small white lie can save you a ton of problems.


It's an adage that you have probably heard a thousand times: "Honesty is the best policy". And although there are many situations in which it is the truth-at the doctor's or when filling this mortgage application, for example, there are innumerable others whenAvoid absolute truth is better for everyone involved. Yes, sometimes aThe little white lie goes a long way.

"When we felt obliged to tell the" absolute truth ", we actually act from arrogance rather than kindness," said the psychologistElisa Robyn, PhD, a relationship of transition from the relationship and career in Arvada, Colorado. AsErin Hinek, LPC, responsible for group practiceFlower psychotherapy In Atlanta, Georgia, says: "We often believe that the desire to tell these secrets or ideas, because it feels good for us in the short term, but the disclosure can finally lead to damage to our relations."

So, before accidentally burning a bridge with a close friend or preparing for a professional failure, make sure you know these instances in which you'd betternot be honest. And for more things that you should never pronounce, discover these17 things that polite people never say.

1
When you hate a gift

blonde woman in front of christmas tree looking upset
Shutterstock / Alliance Images

This sweater that your grandmother knitted you may have so many sequins and poms to what you feel dizzy. But does that mean you need to have to drop your honest feelings on Nana? Definitely not.

"It may be better to smile and thank the gift donor anyway," says Hinek. In general, it's easier to simply "graciously accept the gift, especially if the relationship is important for you," she says.

2
How do you feel about someone's parental style

black mom and dad with young son
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The decision of your friend at the layer of fabric, at home at home or onion as their children with crystals on the full moon may seem strange for you, but the chances they want to hear your opinion on these practice? Thin nil. The breeding of children is quite difficult at heart, and most parents are just trying to make everyone happy and healthy at the end of the day, do not get the seal of approval of each friend well-intentioned or member of the family.

"Parenting is personal andcriticize the choice of a parent Do not necessarily be felt open to receive your opinion, "explains Hinek. Unless they are presenting an immediate danger, Hinek says it is usually better to keep these opinions yourself. And for more things to avoid saying parents, here is the23 worst things you can tell a new parent.

3
If you have a favorite child

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While parents can have a closer relationship with one of their children at times of their lives, telling them as much to work well in the long run. According to Robyn, it will potentially stop seriousFraternal rivalry. And in addition to that, let a child know they arenot Your favorite is more likely to have them remove from a parent that they already consider as non-contractual, do not work harder to win your affection. And for parents of Fibs tend to tell, here is the17 the biggest professors of lies always say parents.

4
What cute you think that someone else's baby is

woman holding crying baby in green onesie
Shutterstock / Antoniodiaz

When does someone ask, "Is my baby is not the cutest?" Know that there is never an acceptable answer other than: "Of course!" You may think that the newborn laziness compared to your precious little ones, or maybe you may not want the kids start, but there is not a parent in the world who wants to hear that your heat takes Your heat takes the appearance of their baby.

"All babies are beautiful in a way," says Robyn. "Sharing that beauty with the new parent supports them through a stressful transition."

5
Your professional weaknesses

A businessman conducting an interview at his desk with a computer.
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When an interviewer asks "What are your greatest weaknesses?" Take it as an opportunity to make you look good. Let them know that you have a problem with time management or have taken once you are unlikely that your last job has long-term positive results.

"The disclosure of too can go back to bite you by voting in a negative light at the interviewer," says Hinek. "It's important to find a balance between your goal ofGet the job And your self-respect to want to be open and honest. "And for more lies, people tell while trying to get a new concert, here's30 lies everyone tells during a job interview.

6
When you think your boss does a bad job

woman at job interview, stay at home mom
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Tell your colleagues how much you think your boss has rarely positive results. "Tell the truth to workCan come back and haunt us, "says Robyn." At one point, we could hear that leaders are aware that we are unhappy with them and we are amazed if we are a good fit for society. "

7
When you think you are smarter than your colleagues

woman looking angry at older coworker on computer
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Everyone has colleagues who deposit the ball or do not usually derive their weight at work. However, even if your inclination is to share how much you think you are at your job that others would be wise to keep these feelings yourself. "Often, when we think we are building a reputation for telling the truth, we really build a reputation for being a complainant," Robyn said.

In addition, while you may think that your intelligence or technical skills should help you increase ranks faster in your business, they can not even be among the most important qualities for your employer. In fact, according to a 2019 survey of theNational Association of Colleges and EmployersEmployers ranked teamwork over professionalism, leadership or career management skills in terms of skills they were valorizing most employees.

8
Your reasons for wanting a job

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Chances are you need a job for a simple reason: help your bills walk. However, you are looking for a new job or if you hope to score a promotion, a little fibron onWhy You want a position to give major benefits.

A well placed, "I want to be with this company for the next 10 years" or "the" data entry has always been my passion "will be much more well received than" I need a paycheck so I do not Receive it expelled. "And for more behavior to stay outside the workplace, see these30 things you should never do at work.

9
Negative feelings about someone's exciting news

girl getting proposed to with engagement ring
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The new job that your friend landed may not seem exciting for you, you may think that your colleague is not financiallyReady to have a baby, or you might simply think that your spouse finally pounding their high score inThe legend of Zelda Is not it a big problem. Does this mean that they need to hear your opinion on their news? Absolutely not.

"Be careful to be that person still raining on the parades of other people," saysAdina Mahalli, a certified mental health expert and a family therapist forMaple holistic. "When someone has a new exciting for you and you have bad news to share this kingdom ... Keep your honesty for yourself."

10
Your negative opinions about someone's appearance

young judgmental latinx man squints at camera
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There are few things that can lose your friends faster than being known as a person who saves the appearance of others. When a friend asks, "Do I look like I gained weight?" They are looking for a validation, not honesty.

Even if someone asks for your contribution, "It does not mean you can ask when [your friend] put so much weight," says Mahalli. If your friend continues to support an opinion, Mahalli suggests directing them to a style that might seem more flattering instead - but always inform about the recognition of what the sharing of any opinion that is not fully positive could damage your relationship in the long term.

11
Your negative opinions about the spouse of someone else

women arguing outdoors at table
Shutterstock / Fantasy Studio

So you think that your friend's spouse is rude, their appearance could use some pins and their career goes nowhere. When is it the right moment to take your company aside and overthrow the truth? Never, according toWyatt FisherAn authorized clinical psychologist and a wedding counselor in Boulder, Colorado. "If you do not really care about your friend's spouse, they seem well married, keep your opinions yourself," he says ... or you risk losing this friendship.

12
When you care about something from your passionate partner by

man clearly bored in conversation
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Being in a relationship does not mean having to worship everything your partner is in. That said, if a habit or hobby on their part is not your thing, but does not otherwise affect your relationship, keep this brutal honesty for you. Robyn notes that being brutally honest in such a situation is likely to push your beloved far, potentially leading to your exclusion from these activities that youto do Enjoy sharing with them too.

13
If you find or not the friends of your attractive spouse

friends eating early dinner
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It's good to imagine that your other person is the only person you will never be drawn. It's as unlikely. However, if they ask if you think that their friend is attractive, peace is more important than telling the truth.

"You must weigh how much lies would benefit a person or relationship from how truth could be irrevocably harmful," says the psychotherapistKaren R. Koenig, M.ED., LCSW, which is based in Florida of the Southwest.

14
When you have a favorite

man and woman flirting in an office
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Similarly, while having the crib to someone can be fun, if you or the object of your affection are in a relationship or you know the flirtation will never lead anywhere, it is better to keep these thoughts for you. With regard to the disclosure of this kind of information, "the general rule is that less is more", according to Mahalli.

She says that unless your crumple asks you if you are burning feelings for them and you have the kind of relationship where it would be appropriate to disclose this information, it is better mom of stay.

15
Your little problems with your regulations in

Mother Daughter Fighting on Couch
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"No matter how frustrating, boring, or domineering your partner's family could be, your partner is not the person to complain to," says Mahalli, who notes that the implementation of minor grievances with the parents of Your partner "means that you are probably asking for an argument".

Unless there is something that really needs to fix it, as in the case of a person to be cruel or violent towards you or your spouse, it is better to find a friend to complain about your beautiful -More the right pronunciation of "espresso" for us that for the cause of unnecessary tensions in your relationship.

16
Why are you no longer with someone

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We all have these relationships where, for one reason or another, we appear can not find common ground with someone. Although there is no need to forge a friendship with someone you can not see your eyes in the eyes with, keeping your feelings why you are not friends to you is probably in your best interest . In many cases, a small white lie not to know that anyone particularly instead of a tirade about their character defects is a better bet.

Bay Area Clinician PsychologistCarla Marie Manly, PhD, suggests that "limiting the length of intersections with some people, choose the parameters that are less intensive, and take short breaks during interactions. »

17
How would you classify your friends, exes or patterns

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We all have friends, we are closer than others. Some of us have exed that were more romantic than our current partners. And some of us do not really think our boss is the best we have ever had, despite this cup that we got them who suggests the opposite.

But is it a way to tell them? Absolutely not. Leaving someone - Whether a friend, a partner or colleague where they fall on your personal ranking system will only cause their pain if they do not occupy the upper spot.

18
Your friends of negative opinions of other people

older people hanging out, relationship white lies
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Sometimes your friends and other meaning just do not come to be heard, and for the most part, it's ok. That said, no one likes to hear when the others do not do it like them, hate their clothes, or think they cheat at Scrabble. If there is a problem, you can help repair between the members of your inner circle, by all means, do it. However, if telling the truth simply means that you are going to hurt someone and offer no resolution, pain relief.

19
Why do not you want to go out with someone

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Sometimes having a fully reserved weekend seems like a lot of fun. Other times, it's a nightmare. And unfortunately, many people hear, "I'm not for her," like "I do not want to spend time with you," when you have to go back from the plans.

If you feel stressed by the idea of ​​canceling, but do not feel like you have another option, a little white lie to feel under time can help protect the feelings of your friends without causing excessive stress about an imminent argument.

20
When you check on exes on social media

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If you are like most people, chances are, you checked in on an eg online. In reality,A 2017 SuperDrug Study revealed that 61 percent of married American study topics checked their eg online at least once a month. And while the practice might not be ideal, clean to come on a look from time to time to an old presence of the partner's social media will certainly not do you a lot of good, either. If you are not really reaching your ex, there is no trouble telling your current partner that you do not know what's with them.

21
The intimate details of your past relationships

Happy multiracial girlfriends in love embracing
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Ideally neglected to tell your partner that you have been married probably no augur for you in the long run. That said, omitting some more intimate details of your previous relationships can actually be a good thing.

The comparison of your relations spent your current can be a major blow for your partner's self-esteem and once you have revealed all of these personal data, they can not be easily incredible.

22
When someone is not as talented as they think

Smiling Woman Smiling Reasons Smiling is Good for You
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If your Ton-Deaf friend plans to leave their work to start a career in Showbiz, it may be wise to kindly warn them against it. However, if your friend could not hit the high notes on "I will always love you" at karaoke, it's not your duty to tell them.

"If the truth is not going to be hurtful, we should ask ourselves why we feel the need to share it," says Robyn, who notes what to say to someone who hurts himself during a significant performance could do them enough shame to leave this passion behind entirely.

23
Your personal reasons for your delay

man looking at watch
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Although it is not exactly polite to leave your friends or colleagues waiting, it does not mean that you have to disclose the exact reason why you run behind you. Your friends do not want to hear that your dog has launched your beauty blender and is not exactly appropriate to let your boss know that you ran late because you and your spouse do not see the eye on where to go holidays. Usually, it is better to just excuse you for your delay and your lead.


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