Create a visual contact is the key to a healthy wedding, say experts
That's not what you say, that's how you say it.
In the first days of a relationship, when you areto fall in love With someone, everything you do is look in their eyes. There are white nights spent looking at each other while talking to dawn andMoments of swelling of the heart When you understand your eyes on a room and know exactly what the other person thinks.
But then you start living together, andto marryAnd have children and life puts in the path of all this. You are too tired to have deep conversations onyour relationship At all or, if you do, they usually take place while one of you makes an omelette and the other is the attachment of the sink of the kitchen. Before you know, visual contact is no longer a priority. But, according to experts, if you feelunplugged In a long-term relationship, the representation could be the key to correct everything.
"The eye contact is easily lost in communication as a progression of the relationship and face-to-face conversations become replaced by talks that occur while you dine, drive, etc.," says an expert in relationship based. in SeattleReading ewing, MA, LMHCA. "But it's important because the majority of what we communicate to our partners isnon-verbal. "
Indeed, according toDr. Albert Mehrabian popularResearch of the 1970s On the subject, only 7% of the communication occurs through words, while 38% of the meaning is derived from the tone, and the 55% more come frombody language.
Clearly, the signals we send someone with our gestures and facial expressions, including our eyes. According toCARLY CANEY, PhD, an approved clinical psychologist in Seattle, visual contact is "a demonstration of true connectivity". "It can communicate" I'm here, "I'm listening," I'm available "and" you're important, "she explains.
As a result, avoid visual contact can indicate that someone you lies or hide something, which isNever a good sign in a relationship.
"Avoid visual contact can mean a lack of confidence, implies possibledishonestyand lack of sincerity, "saysChaure L. Josie, LCSW, founder ofCJ counseling and consulting services In Portsmouth, Virginia. "Giving the view of the view shows your spouse that you care about the conversation and especially, from the spouse and the relationship. If we can not give anything, the most we can give is our time and our attention."
In addition, making a visual contact can help revive thesefeelings of romance It has often been bland once you have been together for many years. A famous study of 1997 by psychologistArthur Aron I found that asking foreigners to ask 36 questions and looking at the eyes of the other for four minutes were enough to spark feelings of love. In 2015, writerMandy Len Catron tried the experience itself on a college knowledge, written inThe New York Times That "looking in someone's eyes for four silent minutes was one of the most exciting and terrifying experiences" of his life.
And why is this the case? Well, biological anthropologist renamedHelen Fisher written in his best-selling book,The anatomy of LoveThis active visual contact "a primitive part of the human brain, calling one of two basic emotions - approach or retirement". As a result, she said she said, "Maybe it's eye - not the heart, genitals or brain - it's the initial organ of romance."
So, if you feel as if your relationship took place, try looking at your partner while you talk to them. Even if you do not have four minutes to give, a small contact with the eyes can go a long way.
