Good Lifestyle

Parenting is an undeniably difficult job - and have your children at home 24/7 while schools and daycares are closed, can make it even more stressful. Unfortunately, this extra layer of stress for an already difficult period can sometimes manifest themselves in a way you do not intend to be short with your children orTell things you do not want to say. If you want to keep your relationship with your children on a constant layoff, read for things that parents should not tell their children.

However certain that you are that the behavior of your child is on the top,Label "dramatic" When trying to express themselves may have serious consequences in the long term.

"Children are turning to their parents to learn tohandle emotions, so if parents teach them that their feelings are silly, they will come with adults who believe that their feelings do not count, "explainsKate Loewenstein, LCSW.

While all children can behave from time to time from time to time, tell them they areinherently selfish May cause life trauma.

"It's important for parents to be clear that they are disappointed that the child has done, not who they are like a person," says Loewenstein. "This type of clarification language is very important."

Even if your child isto say something Whether you think you are less than just true, "I hate you", it is always important that you do not try to reject their feelings.

"" You do not feel like that "is one of the worst things that parents can tell their children," saysKaren R. Koenig, MED, LCSW. "Parents shouldValidate the feelings of children Even if they do not agree with them or want them to feel that way. And if you want to improve your parenting skills, avoid the23 the biggest parenting errors, according to children psychotherapists.

No matter how frustrated you are with your child, it is never acceptable to go as far as you would like they are not born.

"I knew clients who were informed and were healed for life by the remark," says Koenig. When you feel frustrated enough to say something that is hurt, you simply remove from the situation until you have cooled enough to respond more managed.

Fraternal rivalry is just another part of growing in many families, but when parents promote it actively between their children, it is always harmful.

"It can bring a child to believe that they are not good enough on their base and what they are, is defective in a certain way," says the psychotherapistShirley carrier, RSW, writer forChoose a therapy, who notes that this can also cause conflicts with the brother you put on a pedestal.

Unless you want to permanently harm your relationship with your children, never let them tell them they are stupid.

"You could say that in moments of frustration or anger, but the injury can last many years," says wearing. "It can change the basic beliefs of a child on themselves in a negative direction."

Even if you mean it so as to joke, say that this to your son can put an induned burden on him, especially when they are alreadyDeal with the stress of a family split.

"It puts too muchchild pressure fulfill a role that it can not and should not yet [have], "saysKasi Howard, Psyd. "This is the equivalent of a chef who is happening at the break and tells the dishwasher" you cook now. '

Of course, you do not want your kids to waste food. That said, the application of the "Clean Plate Club" rule can have serious ramifications in terms of your child's autonomy and eating habits.

"You are already having trouble bringing your child to eat their food, really increases your child's perceived threat and creates an increased power difference," saysRegistered gaming therapist Sarah Rees. Instead, Rees recommends telling children that they canChoose have dessert if theyChoose To finish their food first.

It can be frustrating to have your children to take forever to get the door out, but tell them to hurry not to motivate them.

"This sentence creates more stress and anxiety in children, who are probably the best of their best to find their shoes to remove the door," says Rees. She says you can motivate your kids by making some who can prepare you the fastest. And if you want to define your children to succeed, start by conferring these33 Life skills Every parent should teach their children.

While you may not be a fan of the new hair color or the nose of your child, when you start a conversation with a question of accusation like this, you close the communication directly on the bat.

"Your child is constantlyto be judged And not good enough, explainsNneka Symistier, LCSW. "Children can believe that if they are not good enough for their parent, they will not be good enough for anyone."

Have you ever been told to stop crying? Has it worked?

"It can be confused so that they hear that what they feel do not suit you, and can also make them less likely to want to come and tell you how they feel in the future if they struggle with something, " to explainclinic psychologist Danielle Harris, Psyd, LMFT.

The deadline comes from experience - not telling your children that they act immature.

"Saying things like this can be damaged for children because it invalidates their feelings," says Harris, who says that "teaches your child only their feelings do not count."

Tell your children, they are already the best to something can be more problematic than not to rent them at all.

"This pressure should be the best, constantly to excel, is an important factor contributing to the child's anxiety and can lead to fear of failure, concerns to disappoint you and a reluctance to try new Things, "says National Certified AdvisorTanya Peterson to choose a therapy.

Even if your children were not planned, tell them that this can cause sustainable emotional scars. And "add" we love you anyway, "does not help," saysAuthorized psychotherapist Nance, PhD. "People want to be loved straight, without any throe."

To say "you are well" when someone is hurt or crying can often feel an automatic answer. However, to the extent possible, avoid pronouncing this sentence to your children.

"Tell the children that something does not hurt when he disputes their reality," says Nance. "Children need permission to exist, to be who they are, to think, feel and make mistakes."

Although it can look like a question, it is more of an accusation statement - and a person who will probably not have a positive response. "Parents who say that this to young children are surprisingly surprised when they can not do anything to do our teenagers," says Nance.

It may be tempting to pronounce sentences like this during the moments of frustration, but do not deceive yourself: telling your children there is something wrong with them will always make more harm than good.

"When we react with frustration, he teaches our children to wonder if something is, in fact, badly with them, and they seek to avoid this type of answer from you to come," explainsMeghan Marcum, Psyd,chief clinical officer to a better recovery of life.

If you want your children to feel comfortable opening up to you, you would be wise to start from a place of acceptance and belief when they try to tell you something.

"When you make this kind of statement, you start the mistrust assuming that your child is lying down, which can seriously damage your relationship," says Marcum, who notes that children will quickly learn to hide their actions from you because They are no longer in security opening. Instead, she recommends asking children to provide more details on what happened, which can help promote productive conversation.

We all have our own fears and our concerns and we told your children that they should not be afraid of something can be an invalidating experience.

"Not only are you rejecting their feelings, but you send the message that something is wrong with them," says therapistJames Killian, LPC,Owner of the Arcadian Council.

Do children act lazy from time to time? Sure. However, tell a child theyare Intrinsically lazy will only make them feel like there are nothing they can do to change that.

"Parents should never give their child a label," says the National Certified AdvisorKatherryn Ely, Jd,Host of the podcast "imperfectly flourishing". "This can be used by the child to form an image or an identity of herself who leaves so many other pieces of whom the child is."

Although you want your children to be affectionate to friends or family members, push them to give cuddling or intrinsically disrespectful kisses from their personal borders.

"Insisting they comply with the wishes of others about personal space and theexpression of affection can result in poor borders in future situations, which could be more dangerous and have negative consequences, "explains a licensed professional advisorNatalie Mica, Med.

If you want your children to avoid peer pressure at school, you can not put them pressure to do things by comparing them to their peers at home.

"Over time, it reduces self-esteem and their sense of personal agency," says Mica, who notes that it can also promote unhealthy competition with others.

Make your children second, guess their own choices - especially with the language that seems threatening - can have serious long-term consequences.

When you pronounce this sentence, "he sends the message that you do not trust their decision capabilities", "saysBusinesstJaime Bronstein, LCSW.

Of course, your child could have received a A instead of a B +, but to tell them that their efforts were not enough can make them feel bad about their abilities - and they are like people.

"It's best to send an unconditional love message so your kids know you like them anything, and you think they did the best they could," says Bronstein, who Note that tells them that they could have done better can lead to them always feel inadequate.

Your child is required to feel ashamed from time to time - but that should not be because you say they should feel that way.

"Smaming comes from a place of law - that your feelings are more important than those of your child", explainsclinical social worker Brianna Simmons, Which notes that the smoothing behavior is "internalized on a number of levels that a child can not tap through".