25 label rules that have changed in your life

The label experts say that these old fashioners are no longer worth practicing.


This is something we have all heard, says or experienced in one way or another over the years, a person of an older generation expressing their disapproving of how younger generations behave often With regard to their lack of good manners, courtesy, orThe appropriate label. However, reality is not that young people are no longer the customs or codes of the label, it is more than they just have those who are different from those of the generations before them had. What has been considered "polite", a few decades ago may have been naturally eliminated from practice, or can even be considered rude nowadays. Thus, to erase the air a little, we have rounded all the label rules that have changed in your life, according to the experts.

1
You do not need adult adults using a title and their surname.

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At the time,the polite thing to do was to everyone calling by a title-sir., Mrs., etc. and their last name. And it was not only for children who speak to their elders, be it. Adults had to greet other adults this way. NeverthelessLynell Ross, Specialist in changes in behavior and founder ofZivadream, Says it's not the norm more.

"In the United States, at least we can call colleagues or new people we meet with their first names," she says. "In addition, if an adult tells a child that he is good for them to call them by their first name, which is acceptable as well. To release from these old rigid rules allows better, less formal relationships. »

2
You no longer have to return a baking dish with more food.

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It was in use for people to bring baked dishes, like a saucepan, at home for a hectic or hard period, like a death in the family, a new baby, or even a disease. And while people do it again, the expectation you have to return the flat back for them with a new meal cooked at home in it has changed. Ross said, because she grew up at a time when it was common, she always feels "guilty of returning an empty dish" when a friend makes him a saucepan. But these days of a simple thank you note is an acceptable substitute.

3
You can not just call random anyone.

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By winning the phone and someone called randomly, it used to be considered nice and attentive. However, with the simplicity of texts and e-mail, it is now considered rude and intrusive to call someone and wait for them to give up everything to listen to you. In an articleThe New York Times Called "Do not Call Me, I Will Not Call You", it is noted that "phone calls from a person other than the immediate family tend to report bad news" because most people simply send a text. Calls are reserved for long and serious conversations.

4
Men are not always to take the first step.

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Not so long ago, when the idea of ​​a woman asking a man on a date has not been considered a socially acceptable practice. A woman had to wait for a man to his "choose". However, as a certified dating coachJonathan Bennettpreviously indicatedBetter life, Which is the case anymore. While some women still prefer theancient nature Of a man who is the first step, there are many women who take "the charge of their relational choices. »Take popular meeting appBumble, For example, which requires women to take the first step.

5
Men are not always required to pick up the check.

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AnotherThe old rule of the dating label Which is slowly, but surely, the abandonment is the idea that a man must always pay the meal when on a date. In a 2013 survey of more than 2000 men and women,Strong reported that while 71 percent of the lost generation (67-82 years) felt that a man must always pay, only 50 percent of the generation Z (ages 18-23) felt in the same way and this number Should stay in motion in sharp drop. The new popular concept is that the person who requested the date should offer to pick up the check, with 42 percent of all respondents feel that way.

6
Fucking someone does not see each other as polite.

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If you look at a movie set at any time before the 21st century, you will often see men greeting a woman by kissing her on her hand. But in everyday scenarios, you do not see what takes place. Instead of being considered polite, this is more often seen as pretentious and sometimes, goose bumps. Whena thread reddit asked if Kissing Main was still a common form of the greeting label, the crushing majority responses fell into the "no" category with people who responded, "Do you live in a" SOAP Opera of the 90s ? And "it is almost always Cringeworthy and clumsy. »

7
You no longer have to change a conversation partner at dinner.

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This label rule was common decades ago, but a person born in recent years could even realize that it was a rule with the way it is unused. In herWay as Monday Column, Expert LabelCarey Sue VegaWritten that women had to turn their conversation into the person on the other side from them every time they saw their hostess do the same. In this way, everyone had a partner speaking during the meal.

In his 2008 bookEat where you live,Lou Bendrick Also note that people used conversation partners after each course. Nowadays, you will usually find people anywhere on the table that commits you in various conversations, usually with the people they know most.

8
You do not have to eat too much at work seriously.

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Many offices still have a dress code policy in their employee manuals, but the days need to wear a costume or dress at work are far behind us.Elizabeth PearsonExecutive career coach said that over the past 10 to 15 years, more and more companies have adopted a "occasional dress code", with something going to "encourage employees to wear jeans and t-shirts ". It still can not be acceptable to throw a yoga crop and pants when you go to the office, but the dress policies have "significantly" in most office crops, says Pearson.

9
Women are no longer supposed to take the family name of their husband.

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In the past,Women did not really have the choice On whether they have adopted or not the family name of their husband when they married. However, as the past years, it is more and more common that women ignore this rule of society once unshakeable. While women are more important in the workplace, the years they have made to build reputations around their youth names make it more difficult to detach them, says Pearson. Not to mention, it's a lot of work to change your name.

"For anyone who had to go through the hassle of legally changing their name, you are well aware that it is a pain, to say the least," she says. "This requires a visit to the dreaded DMV, the passport office, as well as the modification of all your credit cards, your bank accounts, email lists, magazine subscriptions and even social media profiles." All that works may be the reason why more millennial women are able to take the family name of their husband, "said Pearson.

10
You no longer have to worry about wearing the white after the day of work.

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You probably always hear that people say "You can not wear white after work holiday, "But despite the fact that it was once an accepted mode rule, it is no longer followed. In the past, this rule existed because those of the upper society would wear white during the summer months to stay cool , cornAfter the Labor DayThe color was no longer a convenient option for daily tasks, so the rich would come out white sheets for darker clothes to indicate that the summer was over and it was time to return to work.

Maryanne Parker, expert label and founder ofManor ways, telling people not to worry about the color of their clothes. Instead, be simply "careful with fabrics" because lighter fabrics should be reserved for summer, and heavier fabrics should help you transmit in the colder months.

11
And you no longer have to wear white on the day of your wedding.

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Queen Victoria set a precedent than women Must wear white on the day of their marriage, and it was commonplace that women to do it in recent decades - as it embraced a symbol of "purity and innocence". However, this tradition is no longer indispensable. Many brides opt out of white tradition and go with different color dresses for their wedding.

"The idea of" giving "the bride or having wearing a white seemed archaic and unloaded," said a brideElite every day. Instead, she said that her marriage was "big and bright", not white.

12
You do not have to ask someone to be in your wedding party simply because you were in theirs.

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Take up aside, there are so many things in the world of the wedding label that has changed over the years. AndKathryn Money, Vice President of the Marriage Society StrategyBrilliant earthsays there are many gray areas in modern wedding label. In a survey for society, the money stated that one of the most shocking changes in the label is that people do not feel obliged to include someone in their wedding party. The investigation revealed that 54% of people felt that there were no "no rules when it comes to choosing a wedding party", even if they were in the wedding party of This person previously.

13
The bride family is no longer necessary for footing the wedding invoice.

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It was also used in the stone that the family of a bride would bepay for marriage. However, many people areMarry a lot later in their lives Nowadays, according to theAmerican census office. And because of that, Parker says that the idea that the family of the bride pays for marriage is no longer a defined rule. Many couples today are financially independent at the moment when they consider marriage and earn more money than their parents, so they end up paying for their marriage as a joint venture.

14
Women no longer have to place a hand on their knees during dinner.

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Back in the day, it was a common courtesy for a woman to place one of her hands on her knees during dinner. Parker says it meant that the woman was "elegant, feminine and polite", which was how they had to go to the dinner table. However, over the years, the gesture has won a "submissive nuance", which women have pushed back against and have helped drive out the rule of practice.

15
You no longer have to follow a formal funerary vestige code.

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Some people always wear a formal black outfit to a funeral to indicate that they are in a period of mourning, but it is no longer a strict label rule. Parker says people are mostly "appreciated to come to say their latest fares" and are not judged for their appearance to funerals because they usually take work time or other responsibilities to be there. The only place you will see this rule hard and unshakable, in the royal family, which would have beenAlways necessary to have a formal black outfit Packaged in their luggage when traveling abroad in case of sudden death in the family.

16
Guests should not avoid asking personal questions about their guests.

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When welcoming a dinner, it was considered taboo or rude for a host or hostess to ask personal questions about their guests, even when it comes to things like allergies, food restrictions and religion. However, Parker says it's actually the opposite of what's going on nowadays. With so many people with different dietary restrictions, food allergies and religious beliefs, it would almost be considered rude for a host not to ask their guests of these questions.

17
Women no longer need to be served first in a restaurant.

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Although you can always meet the occasional server that follows a "First Ladies" rule to be polished, this concept is no longer needed in restaurants. According toEaterMany upscale restaurants had a classic standard of service where women were served first, going clockwise around the table, then men were served after, also clockwise a watch. This included the control, pour water, service plates and removal of empty plates. However, more and more restaurants get rid of their "first ladies" rules and simply serving seat numbers, regardless of their sex.

18
You do not have to worry about whether your elbows are on the table.

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When the dinner tables had been decorated and complexly furnished, it is hardware that you should avoid defining your elbows on the table. After all, incorrect displacement and you could accidentally take the display of the entire table. However, as a label expertMARALE MCKEE explained on his site,MannerThis rule has hosted over the years. She writes that "the more we look at the people while they speak, the more obvious it is for them that we are interested in what they say." If you are sitting at a table, it means that your elbows will probably be above - and that is not considered rude.

19
You do not need to wait until the whole table is served before eating.

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As an expert labelDiane Gottsmanexplained toVogueSome people still think it's important to wait for everyone to be served before eating. However, any "gîte invited" that realizes that the food of all the others becomes cold, and does not want to hold the table. Just offer a "thank you for eating", other guests around the table is more encouraged these days than forcing everyone to wait while their cold food.

20
You do not need alcohol to participate in a toast.

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Because of aOld superstition dating from antique GreeceHe was a common label rule that do not drink alcohol had to abstain from raising their glasses in a toast. However, many people abstain from drinking alcohol, and he became more rude to exclude people who did not drink. According toMary Mitchell "Modern label: guidelines for giving toasts, "You should lift your glass to grill, even if you did not drink alcohol. She says" everything will do ", even water. It's just" the thought that counts "the thought that counts. "

21
You do not need to wait for a woman to expand her hand before offering yours to tremble.

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In the culture of old office, he was common for men to wait to shake the hand of a woman until she extended his. They could not drive with their own extended hand. NeverthelessBonnie Tsai, founder ofBeyond the label, previously saidBetter life that this rule has become obsolete.

"The general rule is the host of the highest rank should prolong their hand to welcome the other party," she says. "However, if the host or high-ranking person do not escape the hand immediately after your meeting, the other party should prolong theirs."

22
You can share your personal information with whom you want.

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It was "completely unacceptable" to share your personal information in the days, says Parker. However, withSocial media so banal in society now, share personal information has almost become the norm rather than Taboo.

"In fact, if we do not do it, we could be left out, especially in business," she says. "I make many commitments to talk and most entrepreneurs share vulnerable, comforting or heartbreaking details because it is a very powerful skill to connect with the public. Vulnerability is rented."

23
And you are free to talk to foreigners too.

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The rise of the Internet and social media has also changed the way we consider speaking to foreigners. It was considered rude, or dangerous, toconversation With someone you did not know. However, Parker says it's now how most of us communicate with people, whether they meet them "on social media" or your daily activities.

24
You can bring out serious topics during group conversations.

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During small discussion conversations or family, some subjects were considered taboo, even impolished, to raise, like politics, religion or whatever else considered a distance controversy. However, Parker says that culture changes and "talk about weather" can only take conversations so far. People feel more comfortable talking about a range of more diverse and dynamic topics, instead of keeping conversations limited to "obsolete little conversation".

25
You do not need to approach a letter to a "gentleman" or "ma'am".

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In fact, you probably should not. With changing gender standards, it is rude to make presumptions on how a person is identified when it comes to sex. When resolving a letter or e-mail to a person, you are not closely associated with or not know how to greet, people used to write "Dear Monsieur" or "Dear Madame , As a default greeting.Grammarily Provide people to avoid this formal greeting and consider alternatives, such as addressing a stranger through their assumed position, as "Dear Director of HR Operations," or simply using the common approach "to which she can concern ".


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