It's the worst thing you can tell someone who has lost his job
If your "comfort" words start with this sentence, you must re-evaluate, say experts.
The chances are high, you probably know someone right now to the difficult situation of having lost a job - or maybe you are dealing with this struggle. At the height of the pandemic at the end of May, nearly 40 millionAmericans had claimed unemployment benefits. And according to a survey of the PEW Research Center published on September 24, half of the Americans wholost his work during the pandemic Always do not have one. We all know that losing a job can define a constellation of emotional and practical challenges, and if you know someone in this position, you probably want to offer words that combine and heal. But according to experts and employment experts, some of your attempts can be short. It proves,The worst thing you can tell someone who lost his job is a statement "at least", like "at least you canGather unemployment, "At least your spouse always has a job", at least you have your health ", etc.
Although these people can all be true, sentences like these can diminish and invalidate the experience and feelings of someone who lost their jobs. "These statements can minimize the loss and shock that this person can know, and they can also have confidence problems with you regarding job loss," says a certified professional advisorHannah Dorsher ofHannah Dorsher's Board. "It can be very traumatic for people, especially if they find a sense of identity in their work."
So, what is a better alternative? "It would be more appropriate to say something empathic like", I understand what you feel, "or even just", I do not know what to say but I'm so glad you told me "" saysFelicia Brocolo withThe school of the coach of life, noting that "empathy leads the connection".
You want to make sure you do not say something else offensive? Continue reading for more advice supported by experts on what not to say to someone who has just lost his job. And for more about what not to say in these difficult times, checkIt's the worst thing you can tell someone who is mourning.
1 "Now you have downtime."
Trying to turn the job loss in a positive right is a missed opportunity to recognize and validate feelings.
"Someone who recently lost his job may not be ready to look for cash lining in such a negative experience," says the therapistLaura richerofAnchor Light Collective Therapy. "They can meet the fear of their finances, suffering from a blow to their sense of self or identity, or to face obstacles that can make their job difficult to find work in the future."
Beyond that, losing a job is only "downtime" of how parental leave is a holiday. (In other words: it's just not.) "Pretend to lose a vacation job or a chance to get caught on the household chores influxing their experience. He can also invalidate the fear or feeling of sorrow and loss they know "Richer says. "Instead of trying to make a positive experience when it is not the case, give them words of encouragement and validate the feelings they are currently experiencing." And for more words of encouragement to consider for yourself and others, here are someVery effective positive affirmations that you can use every day.
2 "You have always hated this work."
It's not because someone complains about their work does not mean that they have really hated it. And even if theymade Hate, it does not mean that they could afford to lose it - or do not hurt as a result of being abandoned.
"Losing a job right now is a very frightening perspective," says the clinical and organizational psychologistLipkin nicole, the CEO ofConsultation for the leadership of equilibrium. "The use of complaints from someone's past on their work can close the conversation. The person is now in a position to defend their misfortune. Instead, open the conversation by empathizing and helping them think about Action plan." And if you or a person you know looking for new opportunities, here are someRemote jobs that you did not know existed.
3 "Do not worry, you will find another job."
It's a common answer, and it seems to be a reassuring feeling - but regardless of the situation, it's finally useless. "Unless you have a magic ball, you can not predict this, and that chances are, they feel very worried about what the future is holding," says a certified professional advisorLeah Rockwell, founder ofRockwell Wellness Board. "Our professions are often entangled with their identity and loss of employment can present great existential issues. To be useful, keep it currently focused. Offer your empathy for their experience, followed by an offer you are here for They listen as they treat this major transition. "And for more messages to avoid when your friend is in trouble, learnThe word you should never tell someone anxiety.
4 "Well, the times are difficult and everyone cuts non-essential positions."
Statements in these lines "imply that the person or their work is non-essential and / or does not add enough value to remember, which could make the person worse," explainsKate Gigax, CEO of Leadership Development and Coaching CompanyDevelopmental. Even though a person's work was not directly connected to the company's production or its final result, everyone wants to feel that their work is an important contribution - even essential to the team. Therefore, Gigax explains: "A more appropriate answer is:" It's their loss. "And for more updates on how to navigate on everyday life and all the challenges that come there,Sign up for our daily newsletter.
