Good Lifestyle

Text messaging exploded in popularity over the last decade. In fact, according to the data compiled byRequest for textThere are about 26 billion messages sent by SMS every day. It is a simple, fast and fun way to communicate - but things that make text messages of texts can also make it dangerous. Whether it's handling something serious via SMS that should really be treated in person or send private information through your phone, there are many situations where SMS are simply not the right gesture. Here are 33 bad texts that you should never send.

Whether it is written in a moment of panic or as a carefully formulated explanation, leave a partner know that you were not faithful via the text is never a good idea.

"It's a serious business and it should be discussed face to face," says the marriage councilorShelly Kessinger, LPC, which runsWedding Joint Tips. "You do not know where your partner will be physically when reading this, and it can be shocking enough for them. You have already repulsed them by deceiving it - do not go even worse by sending text messages. "

Whenever you try to know each other sincerely, especially for something controlling, the text is not the way to do it. "Say that in a text completely devalues ​​the sincerity of the excuses and supposes an emotional experience of the partner who was betrayed," said the marriage and therapists of the approved familyElisabeth Goldberg. "In other words, let's say that in person."

To break up with someone should be done in person. If your relationship is pretty serious so that it justifies a break, it certainly should not be done by SMS.

"Breaking with an individual on a text is the slightest way to do it," saysMaryanne Parker, founder of the business consulting labelManor ways. "It's very offensive and hurtful. It's a combination of the pain of real break and the disappointment that has been done so loose."

This includes any text in which a kind of change is promised: a promise to reduce to drink, a promise to be more punctual, or simply a promise to remember getting out of the trash. Pull on a text indicating that you will change is not likely to convince the other person of your sincerity.

"Promises are only useful when there is changed behavior," says Goldberg. "Tell him in person and then prove it with your actions. SMSTING This shows that cowardice and a lack of severity on change. It's as if the words themselves are sufficient to comfort the person. It's very hurtful. "

For casual friends and knowledge, a text, even a Facebook message, is a completely adapted way to announce your status soon to the mother. But for those who are closest to you - and for your partner, in particular, such news majors need to come in person.

"Hearing the news that your wife or girlfriend is pregnant is a moment when you will remember forever," Kessinger says. "It's not necessarily wrong to text this information; it's just not the most pc way to deliver this news." Wait for you to see your partner and your parents in person!

Thanks to platforms such as Slack, labor communication is increasingly conducted on the text. However, addressing serious work topics with a boss - as a demand for an increase - is not wise to do via online platforms.

"While sick calling is acceptable with a text, requesting a time of leave or a salary increase is not," says Mansgers ExpertLisa Caves. "In addition, avoid trying to negotiate anything online. Individual interactions are necessary; something less is not professional."

Gossip on colleagues are also something you should avoid doing by text. In fact, it's something you should avoid quite if you want those you work to respect you and do not ask what you're saying behind their backs when they are not in the group's text.

"Gossip on colleagues indicate a lot more about your character and not so much of the character of the person you are discussing," says Parker.Bonnie Tsai, founder and director ofBeyond the label, In addition, says "your text can be captured and shared with many others in seconds. You may have thought it was just a harmless comment, but it could now become a weapon used against you."

Never, ever text-sensitive information such as your social security number, credit card numbers or other personal data. "Pirates can easily access your information or devices without your knowledge or permission, "warns Tsai.

Although most of us are sufficiently wise to not send a photo compromised to someone we have just met in Tinder, even images sent to those we trust an unconditional condition can be hacked and exploited without our consent. That's why the caves says you should "never send naked texts or explicit photos".

Text messages are not the ideal place to eliminate a complex debate. AsPsychoric Founder and editorJohn Mr. Grohol, Psyd, explains on the site, the texts are supposed to be brief - so if a conversation will become deeper or could present possibilities of disagreement, it should be in person.

"Any serious conversation or probably lead to a disagreement deserves more than a text," he writes. "A text is just too short - it lacks too much emotional content of value - to do justice to whom you send it."

"It's always a good idea to take a second to decide if it's worth sending emotional messages by the text because it is difficult to capture the tone and intention of the message," says Tsai. "The texts can easily be misinterpreted and eventually cause an unnecessary argument."

If there is something serious that you want to tackle, see how the other person reacts is important - not just with words, but also with theirbody language. This makes a conversation in person all the more appropriate.

If and when you need to discuss a continuous problem with a friend or family member, do it in person. "Friendship is a bidirectional street, not a person who tries to come back to another. If you can not say it in person, so do not do it via text," says Caves.

If you choose text messages on your qualitations rather than talking face to face, there is a good chance that the person at the reception end considers him an ambush. Without the opportunity to speak it, there will probably be hurt feelings on both sides.

"Do not share bad news on the text where it can be easily interpreted as misinterpreted," says Tsai. "However, you can send a quick text to inform them that you have to talk to them on the phone to discuss the issue by hand."

For people who tend to assume the worst, get a text that simply says "we need to talk" is likely to create worse case scenarios and cause light panic attacks. "Sending this message may seem harmless because you know what you want to talk about," says Tsai. "However, it can be scary for the receiver because they are not sure what to expect."

Instead of text these four words, plan to ask them to meet, then have the face-to-face conversation.

This is a classical mental text that most of us have used both or another. And although it is unlikely to give rise to wounded feelings in some of the other elements of this list, the chances are that the person who would receive it know that you are lying.

"This text should win the prize Pulitzer for fiction," JokesNick Leighton, host of the podcast labelHave you been raised by the wolves? "Everyone knowsIt's just not true. "

"It's not a good idea to say" you've never "to your partner, let alone in a text," saysLynell Ross, founder and editor ofZivadream.

"When you have set up a statement with the word" you ", it criticizes the other person and creates defense. In addition, it is deteriorating, never involving the partner never listens to. This will create feelings and Frustration. Better wait for you to come home and that you can discuss problems calmly and in person. "

Ok, then your friend is used to getting late. Although this is a little irritating, responding to rudeness with rudeness will not help solve the problem. In the end, it is almost always better to answer ongoing problems you have with someone in person courteously.

"If your friend has a late problem, wait for you to find yourself politely that they tend to be late and that prevents you from waiting for. The loan you are, the better your request will be received," says Ross.

If a colleague does not pull his weight, it's something that should be addressed. However, an hour and a place to solve this problem - and it is not via text.

"If you cover your colleague, you have to meet there face to face and indicate that you are no longer willing to do it," says Ross. "If this will affect your work or department, first try to help your colleague by finding a solution to help them do their job better. Maybe they have problems at home or need a Additional training. Be understanding, but do not be afraid to define borders. "

Ask a free time boss via the text is not a bad idea. But when you ask, it is important to define it as a question rather than indicate things as if the boss has no contribution.

"No matter how much you are you, you do not give your boss the opportunity to say no," says Ross. "Be respectful and ask for leave by e-mail or ask for a meeting. The more you are polite that you are, the more you will probably have to spend time."

"You are not my type" transmits the message that the person is not good enough for you, which implies that "my type" is better than the person at the end of the end, "says Goldberg." C 'is very rejected and insults. "

When you had some too many drinks, sending a text to your ex might seem like a fun idea. More than probably, however, it will just drive to regret the next morning (or maybe even when you sent the message).

"Most of the time, drunk texts are inappropriate - they could be impolis, offensive, threatening, sexual and many other shades of the spectrum" Shame ", explains Parker." If we send them by accident, we will have to own the error and apologize. "

Nostalgia for good times (and amnesia on all reasons why things did not work) can sometimes lead to text messages. However, you should always avoid making your ex messaging, especially if the break is recent.

"This is very dangerous because it leaves the door open to reconnection and installs fake hope that the flame will meet," warns Goldberg. "Be clear with your borders. The exteriors should avoid contact for at least 30 consecutive days. If you have had contact with your ex, the next day marks the beginning of these 30 days. People have to detach and manage their own emotions so that they are not unmotionally dependent. "

We all know text messages, but did you hear about texts? It's like texting intoxicated - but instead of alcohol is anger that feeds you to send texts that you will regret later. As Stigma Fighters CEOSarah fader Written: "When you send an angry text, you could say unnecessarily hurtful things when there are other ways to handle more productive situations."

If you are in a serious, long-term relationship and "I love you" is the second nature, so it's perfectly good to do it via text. However, if this is still relatively early in your relationship, it is better to keep such a feeling so that you are in the same room as your other.

"Say that you love someone for the first time, it's a great moment, and you do not want to insert it," explainsElla ahehead, PhD, a relations coach on the dating board siteTINDEROPLUS.com. "You will never be taken seriously if you send something emotion with so much emotion and feeling through a text message without emotion."

Although not as intense as "I love you", it could always be a bad idea to send text. "While declaring that your crush on someone on the text is easy and no risk, it can also be considered insecure and lazy," explains the expert expertDavid Bennet, co-founder of consulting siteThe popular man.

"The problem with this text is that it can be read as desperately romantic or terrifying," saysJenny Block, author ofUnicorn. Even though "we want our partner to love us at the ends of the earth," this particular text is only a little too intense.

Although it's a line that falls in the category of "things you should probably avoid saying both in person and through the text," it is particularly unhappy in the text.

"If we communicate with our partner and that we are constantly defending our previous relationships or our feelings we had before someone else, it can certainly become detrimental to our current relationship," says Parker. "If we have successfully successfully passed, we should take advantage of the present moment as much as possible. Many couples are competing in reality of the details that have occurred in the past focusing on current situations."

There are innumerable reasons why time can be a good choice and healthy. But if the demand is drawn as text, it can easily be misinterpreted and can lead to hurting feelings and misunderstandings.

"The problem here is that you leave the person as a result of this suspended text," says Block. "It's not just or kind of text someone a line when a heart in person is what is really necessary."

"Ads and invitations to major events as marriages should never be treated on the text," says Leighton. If you send invitations to something you want people to consider a serious event, whether it's a wedding, a household or a baby shower - it is better not to send them as text.

As a reflected invitation, aThanks reflected should not be sent via a text. "Text messages do not substitute for a real wedding gift please note," says Leighton. Take the extra minutes to write handwritten notes - your guests will feel everyone else!

Although a note of sympathy via social media or text could be appropriate in the moment, a card is more appropriate for sending as soon as you have time. "The appropriate condolences require the formality and severity of the pen and paper," says Leighton. If possible, console someone in person is an even better and more appropriate option.

"Unless it's for a very well placed irony," cautious Leighton against the use of the book panel in texts. Although it can be appropriate for Twitter or other social media platforms, it is strange to use hashtags in the context of text messages.

Avoid using the sarcasm via text unless you talk to a close friend. Leighton explains that "[send] something sarcastic to a person you do not know well without clarifying the emoji" can lead to misinterpretations and misinterpreted jokes.