13 breaking errors to avoid when you have to end a relationship
Here's why you should not break you through text or sabotage the express relationship.
For most of us, break with someone is an unhappy task we face at a time of our lives. And although many people believe that there is noThe right way to finish things With someone, it's not quite true. More to the point, there is certainly a lot ofwrong Ways to manage a break, whether to throw someone in a text or hand on an ex prematurely. So, read it for all the breaking errors you should definitely avoid if you are looking to end a relationship.
1 Tell all others before letting your partner know.
As much as you may wantMULL on your decision with friends and family, avoid sayingeveryone About your plans to end things before talking to your partner.Nancy Ruth Deen, a professional breaking coach withHello rupture, says there is nothing worse than your soon to be receiving a message "sorry to hear you twice broken" text before having finished things with them. And if you have mutual friends, keep them out of the conversation to avoid putting them in an uncomfortable position.
2 Send them a text to finish things.
The breaks are difficult On both parties, but do not hurt your partner by not giving them the respect of a conversation in person. "Even if it may seem temporarily easier to break with someone embarrassing them, or break bytext or through social media, old-fashioned label rules and decency are still applicable, "saysChristine Scott-Hudson, MFT, owner ofCreate your life studio. "Breaking with your partner in person containing a face-to-face conversation about it."
3 Sign all the reasons why you were not happy.
Your break can be powered by the way you were unfortunate in the relationship, but it is not necessary to browse all the little things you are not satisfied.Kevin Darné, author ofHow to go out with the line successfully, encourage people to remember that it is "it is not necessary to have a long nightmare and filled with theater to perform a break". If you are unhappy or trying to go out with other people, it's "all the reason you need".
4 Tell your partner all the things you do not like about them.
Just as you should not report to all the little things you were not happy in the relationship, do not start listing all the faults of your partner. "It is not necessary to insult or say things that could harm their self-confidence," saysLynell Ross, founder ofZivadream. "You do not need to tell your partner of all the boring things they do, or things you do not like about them."
5 Let's say you always want to be friends, then you do not hurt their feelings.
It's hard to see someone you love - or loved at some point, but as Deen's notes, their feelings will probably be hurt, without distinction. Promoting them a friendship that you may not really want to really and that you are not ready to maintain is only naughty. This will cause confusion and more injuries on the part of your partner when "your actions do not match your words a week or two later." With that in mind, it is best to be honest about what your relationship will be (or will not be) after breaking.
6 Talk not bad about your ex to other people.
The ventilation after a break may be necessary for your healing process, but let the impolite comments on your ex or what they have made of the conversation. "It's not just talking about your partner and if you have common friends of placement, what you say could you come back and be injuring," says Ross. "Do not burn bridges. You never know when they can come in your life, and it's always better for everyone to be on good conditions."
7 Intentionally sabotage the relationship so the other person ends things first.
If you want to break with someone, break them with them. Play games of mind or do terrible thingscheating or be cruel to intentionally sabotage the relationship hurts you and your character, saysSophia Reed, Doctorate, a marriage and a family therapist. Own your decision and confronts the situation rather than doing theunbearable relationship So they break with you first. "Nobody deserves to be put through that," adds Reed.
8 Use honesty as an excuse to be average.
As Reed Notes, many people like to take the "It's not you, it's me" approach to spare their partner's feelings. But if the problem is it or something they did, tell them that. NotDo you lie for the sake ofBut also know that "be honest" is not synonymous with "being naughty". You can tell them the problems you have encountered in your relationship without taking away. And I hope your honest explanation can be useful and used as an opportunity for them to change and improve future relationships.
9 Allow negotiations to do.
Even if you may want to mitigate your partner's injury in the moment, do not allow them to transform the conversation on a negotiation that involves staying together. "The purpose of your soon to be ex is to make you list the reasons they will try to convince you that they can change or address," said Darné. "If you have sincerely decided that the relationship is over, it is cruel to allow them to pray, plead or lose their dignity."
10 Do not be clear.
Do not be "uncertain" on why you break with your partner, saysSara Sedlik Haynes, approved marriage and a family therapist in California. Before introducing the conversation to your partner, you must have a direct explanation for why you want to finish things.
"Be clear with your message and avoid the details of the past are important," she says. "Explanations of why you break things like" once once ... "or" I can not handle it when you ... "Create Defense and Before Knowing, An Argument or A argument began. This will take you anywhere. Create more injuries and distraction to do work. "
11 To reach out after.
It is not uncommon that you would miss your ex, even if you are the one who finished things. But Haynes says you have to avoid "reaching hand later, because you" gaps "or something like that." It's not fair, kind or useful to your ex, who works on you and on the relationship, especially when you do not intend to come back with them.
12 Stay connected with your ex on social media.
"Delete and block your ex number of your phone, as well as block them on Facebook and Instagram," says the relationship coachAPRIL HIRSCHMAN, author ofBetter breaking of all time! Stay connected with your exsocial media Just give you a chance to keep tabs on each other when it's not any one of yourself. You do not need to keep your ex blocked on social media forever, but it's a useful way to prevent them from checking on you 24/7 when the rupture is always fresh.
13 You immediately involve someone again.
Be alone is difficult, especially when you are fresh of a relationship. But according toCarol Queen, author ofThe Book of Sex and Pleasure: Great Sex Vibration Guide for Everyone, the worst thing you can do is rush to you in a new relationship by getting involved with someone else right away
"Give yourself a little time to cry, or else, I'm just treating," says the queen. "Too many people simply do not want to be alone, but be alone can be deeply healing. It can also be comfortable, nourish, and even having fun."