If your partner uses these 2 words, you can go to a break
These two little words can be a subtle sign that your relationship is on rocks, search shows.
It's not always easy tonavigate or to see their end on the horizon. But generally, there are subtle signs that can tell you how things are heading - and some of them are hidden in the models of how we are talking about. According to a new study of researchers at the University of Texas in Austin, if you hear that your partner says two particular words more often, it couldindicate a break is imminent. Read more about this surprising red relationship, and for another sign of problems that might be right under your nose, checkYour relationship is doomed if your partner does, experts say.
After analyzing more than one million publications of 6,800 Reddit users who joined the Subredit R / Reassures, the researchers discovered that there were differences in the language during the time surrounding the breaks. These changes have occurred from an average of three monthsbefore the breaks of the subjects and lasted an average of six months after, with the use of the words "I" and "we" reaching the summit at the time of the rupture itself. These tongue trends have occurred not only in the R / Ruptures sub-sector, but also in other non-linked threads than the same connected posters.
"It seems that even before people know that a break will happen, it begins to affect their lives," said the main author of the study,Sarah will be, a doctoral candidate in psychology at UT Austin. "We do not really notice how many times we use prepositions, articles or pronouns, but these words of operation are modified so that you cross a personal upheaval that can tell us a lot about our emotional and psychological state, "She added.
The study, which was published in theActs of the National Academy of Sciences, also noted that the positions have become less analytical or formal, become more and more personal and introspective as the posters processed thepotential break.
"These are signs that someone wears a heavy cognitive charge. They think or work through something and become more and more self-concentrated," said Seraj. "Sometimes the use of the word" I "is correlated with depression and sadness. When people are depressed, they tend to focus on themselves and are not able to relate to others."
While most topics have tended to return to normal after six months after breaking, some always wrote with these models modified up to a year after theirRelationships concluded. In the assessment of the researchers, these subjects were "less well adjusted a year after breaking compared to the posters in the short term".
Wondering what other subtle signs can point to aimminent rupture? Continue reading for more red flags that your relationship could be in danger and for the biggest problem indicator, seeThe Tell-Tale sign your cheat partner, say experts.
1 You or your partner go out during the arguments.
When the tensions are high during aFight with your spouse, it can sometimes be tempting to make a quick output. But going out for an argument is a "catastrophe recipe," saysAmanda Lopez, an authorized marriage and a family therapist based in Vista, California.
"If you need time alone to treat a disagreement, discuss with your partner before the problem arises," she suggests. "The key is not to flee, but to cool and come back later when the temples are not so hot to finish the conversation. "And for more sentences to delete from your vocabulary, checkThe word you say who ruins your relationship, say experts.
2 One of you plays the victim.
It can be difficultin a relationship To recognize your own faults and weaknesses, especially when you perceive your partner as responsible for a conflict. But not possessing your own role in a disagreement in favor of the victim's cheek can close all productive conversations that can get out and leave a partner as they are continually in trial.
"Instead, listen to what your partner says and tries to see him from their point of view," says Lopez. "This can offer an opportunity for a deeper connection rather than an additional division." And for more language to avoid, consultThe word you should never say when you apologize.
3 You start counting on other people for real privacy.
Although it is absolutely necessary to haveStrong relationship Apart from your romantic partnership, the question is whether you think your partner is an active part of this global assistance system.
"The foundations of a positive relationship are able to communicate with each other, to support each other and to create a security place," saysKathryn Moore, PhD, a psychologist at the Child Development Center and the Saint John Providence Family in Santa Monica, California. "If you notice that you choose not to share feelings and needs with your partner, or do not feel safe, then your relationship may need work," she adds. And for more advice from relationship sent directly to your inbox,Sign up for our daily newsletter.
4 You communicate less.
According toMayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT, a coordinator of the authorized psychotherapist and the program at the Child Development Center and the Saint John's Providence Family, collaborative communication and reciprocity are essential for aA healthy relationship.
However big or small, "make an effort to share thoughts, ideas and experiences daily," she suggests. "Show interest when your partner shares his day and follow up with sharing your day." Take even small steps to share more often can help you open both a new level of communication and intimacy. And if you really want to make things last, so avoidThe worst thing you tell your partner without realizing.
