This is the only word you should never tell you

Experts say that negative self-discussion often starts an endless cycle of negativity.


The words import, whether they are said aloud orthought of ourselves in our head. Unfortunately, many people are notnecessarily kind with themselves With the words they choose, and this can play an important role in self-esteem and a person's prospects later in life. To avoid this, experts say it's the word you should never tell you:not.

"When you say that you" can not do something, you agree that you are intrinsically incapable, "saysJeanine Duval, aAlternative health expert With an expertise in negative autonomy and co-founder of Edelwyn. "You admit the defeat without trying or keep trying by giving. By saying that you can not, you limit yourself to what you are comfortable."

Young man sitting at home. Sad guy sitting on the couch , copy space
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And there is scientific research behind the idea we perceive ourselves or that our limitations play a role in which we are and who we need. A 2013 study published in the journalPsychological science found that young adults of average weight thatthought they were overweight wereactually more likely to become overweight later in life.

"Our spirits are fascinating survival machines and words that we say many times ourselves, positive or negative, are part of our internal belief system," saysPiquet Sadie,Coach Psychotherapist and Autonomous.

According to Sudie, "the negative autonomy of most people comes from experiences during childhood and adolescence when your psyche is particularly vulnerable."

For example, if someone often tells you that you "can not" or "could not" do something, it's likely tocreate an emotional impact so strong that it stays with you throughout your life. And "it becomes stronger than when you reinforce it because of research and looking for experiences that validate your belief," says Sadie. So, instead of having a good and optimisticAnswers to negative experiences, you're stuck by saying that it happened because you "can not" do something.

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But these models can be changed by recognizing and actively get rid of the negative discussion. Sadie says that when you make a definitive statement with the sentence "I can not ...," You should "look for a proof that goes against this belief." She says you should actively think about the moments when you could do this or something similar, and that does not matter, it does not expect that it helps to refute your negative thought. "

"You can change your negative self-discussion at any time if you recognize that it's harmful and make the effort conscious to restore it ... Over time, your perception will start changing," she says. "In return, you will open doors to your real potential that you may not have realized was there." And for more words, you should avoid,It's the word you should never say when you apologize.


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