Good Lifestyle

Like the famous driver and pianistVictor Borge Once said, "Laughter is the nearest distance between two people." If you have already spoken a joke with a close friend, you know it's true. Laughter binds us and strengthens our relationships. A 2017 study in theNon-verbal behavior logfoundsense of humor Can even be the foundation of a new friendship because it demonstrates that you both share a similar worldview. If you laugh the same things, chances are rather good that you also have the same values ​​and interests. Need somefresh jokes To spice things with your bestie - or someone you want to be your bestie? We have what you need. Here are 40 hilarious jokes on a guaranteed lining to put a smile on your two faces.

Funny One-Liner jokes

1. I asked the computer guy: "How do you make a motherboard?" He said, "I'm talking about my job."
2. Why did Cendrella fallen from the football team? She continued to flee the ball.
3. I wanted my children to look at the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. Too much sax and violins.
4. How is a computer drunk? It takes screenshots.
5. Dogs can not see your bones. But Cat Scan.
6. What is the best thing to live in Switzerland? I do not know, but the flag is a great advantage.
7. My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. Jacques and the magic bean.
8. Why are art collectors such big fans of gas? Because it makes their van Gogh.
9. Peter Pan is a terrible boxer. Whenever he throws a punch, it's never terms.
10. How do you call a funny mayonnaise pot? LMAYO.
11. My father died because he could not remember his type of blood. He continued to insist us "be positive", but it's so difficult without him.
12. If you commit a first degree murder in Canada, is it a killing of 34 degrees in the United States?
13. How do you call a noodle that does not drink? Soba.
14. A century ago, two brothers decided that it was possible to fly. And as you can see, they were Wright.
15. I made an appointment to see my psychic next week, but she just called to cancel. She said I can not do it.
16. You realize that vampires are not real. Unless you count dracula.
17. How do you call a hay pack in a church? Christian Bale.
18. I always knock on the refrigerator door before opening it, just in case there is a salad vinaigrette.
19. My wife gave me an ultimatum: she or my dependence on sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.
20. If the prisoners could take their own mugshots ... they would be called Cellfies.

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The best jokes at a liner

21. Why are cats bad luck? Because they have only one tale.
22. I tried to create a professional cache team and search, but it did not work. Provides, good players are hard to find.
23. A man struck by the panic explained to his doctor, "you must help me, I think I shrink." "Now, sit", calmly tells him the doctor. "You will just have to learn to be a small patient."
24. If April showers bring May flowers, what can flowers bring? Pilgrims.
25. What is the difference between a hippopotamus and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
26. Why did the old man fell into the well? Because he could not see that well.
27. I was not so hungry, so I just eaten a child meal in McDonalds. His mother was furious.
28. How do you call a dead magician? A corpse abra.
29. How do you call a paper plane that can not fly? Stationary.
30. How do you find Smith in a snowstorm? Looking for fresh impressions.
31. What does a CIA agent do when it's time to go to bed? It goes under cover.
32. I can always say when my wife is lying while looking at her. I can also say when she is standing.
33. A cop started crying as he wrote me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, "It's a moving violation."
34. Today, I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it safely on your head. Because it's the size of a hat.
35. My girlfriend says if we do not get married soon, she will kill me. It's a question of woman or death.
36. As I suspected, someone added soil to my garden. The plot is Corsican.
37. I have a joke about runoff in economics. But 99% of you will never get it.
38. Have you heard about the scent that smells? I think it's total non-smells.
39. Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch, Yeti never complains.
40. The inventor of the rhombus of throat died last month. There was no coffin at his funeral.