20 signs of relationship warning Intelligent couples never do not know
How to know it's time to bail.
It's a story as old as Time: boy meets a girl. Boy and daughter fall in love. Boy and daughter spend the rest of their life together in a happy harmony. Even Romeo and Juliet have found together, in a twisted way. Unfortunately, life does not only want to follow such simple guidelines. No, the story, more precisely and more frequently, go like that: boy meets a girl. Boy and daughter fall in love. The boy and the girl fall from love - with animosity levels vary from relationship to relationship. The difficult part is to determine when to pass Act II for act III. Skip inhuman introspection levels, "Is my relationship condemned?" is an almost impossible question to answer. So do not do it. Leave it to someone else, like these experts here, who presented 20 definitive signs that your relationship is on the rocks. And if you discover that the fixation things are in your future,Consider trying to try an open wedding. (Yes, they exist.)
1 You ignored a tape of the case at the beginning
A sure way to define your relationship up to fail? Overlooking a major red flag from the beginning. "People do not know their" circuit breakers of the case "in relationships for many reasons," saysKIMBERLY HERSHENSON, LMSW. "Sometimes we are afraid of the truth because the truth can lead us to make a change," she explains. But the truth is that if you have always wanted children and your partnerabsoutelyIt's not and you know all this, it's better to cut the cord now and spare you the pain later. Although if you prefer to reaffirm your love, learnHow to say these three little words without saying anything.
2 You can not remember the positives
Each relationship has difficult times, but if you think about how your relationship has begun, it is difficult to remember "good times" that you had together because it is buried under your current conflict and your emotional pain In the relationship, it's probably a sign that things could be finished, according toCHRISTEE LOZANO, an authorized marriage and a family therapist practicing in California.
3 Your values only make the line
Family, money and religion are difficult to change from point of view. "People are attracted to each other for all kinds of reasons, and it is true that sometimes contrary attire," says Denise Fournier, Ph.D., LMHC, a psychologist and founder ofPersistent leaves therapyin Miami, Florida. "But if you are going to build a strong and lasting relationship with an intimate partner, it is important that your fundamental values are aligned," she says. At the end of the way: "If you are not on the same page and you are not able to find common ground, the relationship is not likely to withstand the test of time."
4 Disagreements turn into cutaneous rashes
"Conflict is a healthy part of relationships, but how do you solve it may be related or destructive," saysDr. Terri Orbuch, expert in relation, researcher, teacher and therapist."If you manage conflicts systematically in a destructive way, screaming, interrupting, screaming or calling your names of partners, studies show that you are more than twice as likely to divorce or Breaking up time. " If you and your partner can not fight the fair, it may be time to make your exit. Although if you want to come back, learnThe ways that smart men apologize for their dog's way.
5 You can not wait to go home
"There is no big sign of a distinction tail that a relationship is doomed if you avoid returning home at night," says Erika Boissiere, authorized marriage and family therapist, founder ofThe Institute of Relations of San Francisco. "If you do not want to see your partner or be with them, you have already started the breaking process in a passive way." Yikes. Hey, however, at least you will have the time toBuild a bromance Fort-Hell.
6 You are not sexually compatible
SexMaybe a manufacturer of the relationship or ruin. "If a couple discovers that they are not sexually compatible (for example, it wants sex more frequently than it does, or it is not derived from it at the physical level), it's a certain sign that sexual problems will be a problem in the long run, explainsDr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist based in California. "If partners (or both) are not willing to cope and solve the problem, time will only make the worst." If you need ways to spice up things in the bedroom, checkThe 3 ways to instantly turn your wife into a sex goddess.
7 You always blame things on each other
Sometimes the Mishaps are not the fault of anyone, but if you always feel that it is the fault of your partner, or vice versa, something is standing, says Hershenson. Of course, for when it comes time to get ready, brush yourselfThe romantic man's guide to buy the perfect flowers.
8 One of you treats dependency
Of course, former drug addicts can be in relationships, but these relationships are "considered to the success of the other person with sobriety. Without this, the two partners take place and flow in a relational dance filled with toxicity and pain, "says Boissière. "A relationship can typically a meteorological dependence for a period of time before a partner is exhausted," she adds. It could be a good timetake our quiz and find out what kind of drinker you are.
9 You can not agree on where to live
"People want to live in some places. They have their dreams out of the place where, when, at what age," says Erin Asquith, LCSW, founder ofVersus therapyin New Jersey. Some couples are able to do long distance work when they can not reach an agreement on where to live, but it usually leads partners from us.
10 You keep secrets
If you linge to the source of your S.O., it probably points out that the relationship is heading for a break. "There is a difference between secrecy and confidentiality," says Lozano. "It's totally correct and healthy to have privacy, but keep secrets can be a disaster recipe."
11 You would not go home in a crisis
"One way to identify who you feel emotionally nearby is by asking you that you contact yourself for help and help you in a stressful situation, such as loss of employment," says Orbuch. "An unhealthy relationship is a relationship in which you would prefer to get someone's help but from your partner," she explains. "Your partner does not need to be thealoneOnce you turn in difficult times, but you should want to go to your partner to support. "
12 You do not trust you
Or one of you does not trust each other. "Although trust can be repaired, it is incredibly difficult and takes two very committed individuals," says Boissière. If you always feel the desire to check your partner's phone or to constantly ask if they areActuallyDoing is different from what they said they were doing, you may want to tilt you. If you really do not trust him, you may want to learnThe 15 signs that a woman cheats you.
13 Each conversation looks like harasses
"Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself in a relationship," suggests Asquith. If you feel that you are not really hearing each other and every request or question looked like one of you is bleached or criticized, it is a major red flag.
14 You can not have uncomfortable conversations
"You have probably heard that before, but it is repeating: communication is essential to a healthy relationship," said Fournier. "Some problems that I see tears have to do with money, sex and different definitions of monogamy. Although they are difficult to navigate, they can almost always be reconciled if the two partners are arranged To speak openly, vulnerable, and honestly. If you can not or will not be willing to keep the communication in progress, the relationship is doomed. "
15 Your ideas of the ideal futureVery Different
"When the partners do not address the basic visions for what is in advance, as if we could have children or the time to take the relationship with the next level, relations generally dissolve", Declared Boissière. In addition, if you started to imagine your futurewithoutYour partner, it's time to go out.
16 You can not name the positive qualities of your partner
A major indicator that you are not in love with your S.o. More? "You are critic of your partner and stop seeing the" good "in them", notes from Lozano.
17 You never disagree
Fighting unfairly is bad, but never have a conflict, it is also a sign important that something is wrong. "Healthy partnerships will raise disagreements, who will work together," says Shirani Mr. Pathak, an authorized and founding psychotherapist of theSilicon Valley Relations Center. "If you never disagree, it's probably because either (or both) to avoid discussing things that makes you feel uncomfortable, which leads to a storm brewed under the surface. "
18 There is no point in meeting everyone's needs
"When a partner does not show interest in his needs and his desires from his companion, the relationship is on rocky soil," says Manly. If you just do not care about your partner or partner, you probably should not be together.
19 One of you puts in all the work
"Relationships spend and develop and evolve as people change and evolve," Notes Pathak. If a partner does the work to grow in a better version of themselves and that the other partner is not, the relationship is likely. In addition, if a partner really tries to operate the relationship and the other is not, the effort can be lost wasted.
20 You are not ready to spend the next step
A certain ambiguity in a relationship is normal. Everyone does not know immediately if they found "the one" or isalwayssure they want to continue to be married to their spouse. "However, there is one point in all the relationships where you need to decide the fundamentals (move together, marriage)," says Tooth. For married couples, this could be whether or not buy a house, have a child or make another major decision. "If you find that you" can not "make a decision, it is likely that you are directed towards a break," she says.
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