Good Lifestyle

Thanks to the bloggers of moms ready to Instagram and the proliferation of parental gurus, there are a lot of stress to be the mother "perfect" these days. Of course, everyone has a different opinion on what you need to do to be thebest mom of all time, and often the advice you hear on how to accomplish this is contradictory.

You are supposed to put me first, but also always do what is best for your child. And if these two things do not jibe exactly? And then there is pressure to do foreign things, like feeding your child a paleo or vegan diet, transform them into a musical prodigy at an early age and teaches them in several languages ​​even before entering the school of quality. Well, rest assured, we will not present any conflicting, controversial or difficult counseling. Instead, we have collected 20 simple and exploitable strategies of parental experts who will help you be the best mom you can be. And for your other half, here is the20 ways to be one (a lot) best father.

Twice a day, you disconnect your daily tasks and enter their world without distractions, "advisesDena Alalfey, a licensed professional advisor. "Enjoy talking and playing with them - no interruption. This will strengthen your emotional link and promotes positive attention." And for seriously your match, check theBest ways to raise emotionally healthy children.

"Humans have a serious bias of negativity, so it's super easy to start feeling that your children are a total disaster and your relationship with them stinks," notesMichelle's ice cube, conscious parental educator and author ofConscious parenthood in a disorder world.

"Our family has a pot of gratitude on the kitchen counter with some small pieces of paper and pens in a bowl right next to it. We often stop during the day to write a few things we appreciate the one Others or our lives. I'm also using my diary to rate these reflections or even better tell my children what I had enjoyed about them that day while they fell asleep at night. Being specific is useful . Instead of sharing "you were really nice today 'you could say" that you could say "how you helped your brother to find his shoes this morning when he ran late. It was really nice". Catch them be good when you can. "And if you focus on your wedding, do not missThe secret of astonishing sex after parenthood.

"Think about the principle of the oxygen mask: put yours the first, then you can help your children," saysMelissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT, an authorized psychotherapist and co-founder ofHonest mamas. "As mothers, we tend to put the needs of others before ours and at the end, the whole family suffers." So, make a small "me" a priority and your children will reap the benefits. And for more ways to take care of you, learn the30 the simplest ways to conquer stress once and for all.

Sometimes the key is what you do not know. "An expert could be a stranger in this facebook group for moms, or it could be the pediatrician or teacher of your child to the daycare," saysKelsey Allan, parental expert forTo sleep. "It could be your own mother, who probably has a lot of advice (and sometimes too much)! It's okay not to have all the answers, and you will find that if you ask for help, there are people everywhere will bring you willingly. Some of the best moms are those who know very well that they are not perfect, but because they ask for help, they always improve. "And for more tips of life, here'sExactly how much money you have to do to be happy.

Namely money and sex. "Normalizing sex is crucial and expecting a special day in the future launches a kick on the road," saysDavid Ezell, approved professional advisor and clinical director ofDarien Wellness. So, when exactly, should you bring that? Well, earlier than you think. "Start when they are small; fourteen years will grope and be embarrassed while four years will be receptive and open to everything you feel. Just as big as sex, money is crucial for them to understand from their youngest Age. Money management, set goals with money, understand the charity - these are the skills of crucial life that must be treated as soon as possible. "

"Time goes on anything, anything but moments can be made more special when you make them traditions," NoteLisa DRXMAN, M.A., author and founder ofFIT4MOM. These traditions can be big or small, but the most important thing is that you do them regularly. "Establish a daily tradition for your family, like a sunset routine or diet as a family; a weekly tradition, like the family night or a French parot of Friday; and an annual tradition, such as working in a soup of Thanksgiving or a family race on New Year's Day. "Create a sense of routine can be key in a family; For the proof, take a look at the50 best wedding tips from all time.

"Parents filled with doubts will have difficulty learning their children to trust," saysJill Howell, a certified professional advisor and a registered art-therapist. And even if you have insecurities, do not talk with your children. "Keep your doubt between yourself! If you constantly make negative statements and you reset, then your kids will show you your best and will encourage them to grow grow up in happy and well-adjusted adults."

"Moms are generally proud of their ability to be multitasking at the highest level," saysSupna Shah, parenting expert, founder ofWego children and host of paranttalk.tv. "My advice is to stop multitasking. It's exhausting and leaves moms like they do not really do well. Start time time instead. Block amounts of time for each activity. If it's The reading time with children is the only thing you do. Concentrate, be present and enjoy the moment. "

"We have to move and get fresh air," says Thompson Divaris. "We can not take care of someone else if we do not take care of ourselves. For some, it could be a race, a walk with a friend - find what works for you. It will take to Less anger, resentment and frustration. "

"I can not tell you how many times I went to the park and saw all the parents sitting on the bench on their phone or push their child on the swing by looking at their phone," saysTest, founder ofMillennial coaching mom "It is so easy to get caught in our technological world, but it is so important that our development of our children has a mother who is present and at the moment with them. You will have the two so much more fun and you will show your child What you already know: do you like to be with them! "

Some moms believe that children should always come first, but experts say it's actually your partner who should occupy this superior slot. "After taking care of ourselves, we must feed our partnership relationship if we have one," saysBette Levy Alkazian, an authorized marriage and a family therapist.

The logic is sound: "When we take good care of ourselves, we are able to bring us our best to our partnership; then we are filled by our relationship and, afterwards, bring two parents happy to the Parental table. Then all falls in place because the parents are the foundation of the family. When mom and dad are happy, the children are happy and have their needs encountered by two parents filled. "

Show them that you are there, no matter what. "I also noticed that it came to my child's advocate closer to us closer," says Gale. "I will sometimes introduce myself to school with a forgotten article, help you type paper while my son dictates or brings them a surprise snack when they read or study. I like to remind them that I always have the back."

"When we use labels like" good girl "or" good boy ", it usually means that our child goes with what we want," notesKIMBERLY HERSHENSON, LMSW. And although these sentences may seem harmless, it can actually make damage. "Yes, we should learn our children to be respectful and follow the instructions, but simply because our child wants to continue playing and we have to leave the house, it does not mean" bad ". If our children become used to These labels, what happens in cases where we do not use it. Does it mean that children are not "good"?

So, if your child cleaned his room, let's say "Excellent work of organization of your room" instead of "you are a good girl to clean your room." "

Not their friend. It is tempting to try to be a "cool mom", but there is a difference between wanting your child for really you and being inappropriate. "Children have tons of friends but only one mother," Ezell points out. "They need structure and borders; they believe them. Look at friendship with your children is irresponsible and your ego, not their advantage."

"Sometimes things can feel overwhelming, then your child goes and throws an angry crisis or does something that makes you want to get your hair out," explains. "But as a mother, it's important that you stay calm and rational in the situation. Your children seek to be their rock and their pillar of stability, so if they lose it and you lose it too, the situation Do not go climb. Take some deep breaths, collect or turn around and close your eyes for a moment. Then, once this initial anger or frustration decreases a little, you can calmly settle the situation of more rational way.. "

"Listening listen - really listen to what your kids say and how they say it" advisesVarda Meyers Epstein, parental expert atKars4kids. "Look at their body language. Never interrupt. Do not come with a prepared speech, reacts rather to them according to what they are trying to make you move on. This will bring you much closer and they will learn to enhance your contribution.. "

"Do not tell your child that something is not a big problem when it is clearly to them," says Alalfey. "Children feel heard when you validate their feelings. They also learn that everything is going to have emotions. Instead of trying to defuse the situation, help your child by teacher skills in resolution or problem solving skills To help them in the future when you are not here. "

If you feel a theme here, it's probably that, to be a good mom, you have to take care of you. It is not always easy to do, so this operational and operational strategy can help. "An easy way to rejuvenate is to take a five-minute pause for sitting and sipping a glass of water," Shah says. "Start your child on a new activity and use it as your opportunity to sit down. Take a nice glass of cold water and sip it slowly. Take deep breaths. In a few minutes, you will feel revitalized and ready to go . "

"Many parents believe they are selfish when they take time for themselves," Howell said. "When I ask them if they want their children to grow up and take no time for themselves and that they are as stressed as they are, then they understand. Take the time to teach you the limits of your children And models the importance of me. It's been for happier parents and happier children. "

"Although quality time is important, the development of a healthy support network for parents" he says Tonia Spence , Director of Clinic Services at the Child Development Center of the Jewish Council . "Every parent should have friends they can call to share concerns, laugh with and engage around personal concerns. Friendships also prevent us from balancing, so we do not focus so focused on our children to their detriment. " And for more ways to create a loving and balanced household, see the 30 things rights couples can learn gay couples .

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