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Relationships Can be hard in normal times, but even more right now, when many couples are cooperating together at home. When we find ourselves chances with our partners, we often look for friends and family advice. But not all their warnings and their so-called "wise words" should only be taken into account. Even some of the most frequently mentioned recommendations could potentially do more harm than good. To help you determine what to take in the heart and what to get out of your mind, it's the badDating and wedding tips The advantages of the relationship say to avoid. And if you are looking for wedding tips that have resisted the test of time, here'sThe top 50 couples' wedding tips that have been married for 50 years.

There is not a perfect personWhere A perfect partner. "Everyone you will encounter will have defects," saysJames Anderson, dating expert atBeyond the ages. "If you accept this fact, you may see that one of the people you thought was" not so perfect "is really very interesting for you."

Most of the time, playing just to get just guarantees that you will find yourself alone. "The world of meetings is competitive and few people have time to constantly pursue someone who does not demonstrate any interest," said Anderson. "Stop playing these stupid games and show a little interest. You will give yourself many possibilities with people you would otherwise have missed."

Having a life partner who loves everything you like may seem excellent, but there is often more than what meets me in these partnerships. "Someone who needs to feel connected to another human being to survive will adapt their tastes and disgusts," saysMegan's hunter, co-founder of theHigh conflict institute In California and Arizona.

She warns that if you have "found suddenly found a partner who also likes horses, venerates your favorite sports team, has the same kind of friends and love the same movies", so they are probably just alittle Changing bit. So, proceed with caution if it seems too good to be true. And if you are worried, you are headed in a bad direction, take note of the17 signs of relationship problems that you should never ignore.

While waiting for someone else to make the first movement will often leave you just, well, waiting. "It's incredible how many times the two people expect the other to make the first move or first demonstrates interest," says Anderson. "It can take a little courage to make the first gesture, but you will be shocked by the way it will improve your meeting life Whatever your sex. Fortune promotes the daring in love more than any other business."

"This is the motto of every person you have ever encountered who draws drama like a magnet, but I can not for the life to understand why," says Anderson. "Instead of trying to rationalize your bad behavior, spend this time improving and improving your life to the point where your worst is worth treating." And for the signs you have serious problems, learn the17 subtle divorce signs Most people do not see.

Everyone wants to feel the rush to attraction and love, but sometimes you can not trust these butterflies of your stomach.

"The brain plays interesting tricks on us, sending to love glittering through our brain and our body, which convinces us that this person is" the one "," says Hunter. "Some of the brightest high intensity sparks occur with personality disorders that may later we need the strong chemistry is not always awarning signBut it's a signal to take your time and proceed with caution. "

The idea that everyone has a person who addresses them is surely romantic - but in the end, this idea can cause more problems than anything else.

"How many times have you understood that people say they have found their soul mate? Wait a few years and you can see them looking for another soulmate after the first disappearance," says Hunter. "We can love more than one person in life and while we have deeper and stronger ties with a little more than others, the belief we have sisters may be an asymmetrical predictor of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of the success of future relationship ... or failure. "

It is actually better to take a little time to relax before discussing something you feel worked, according toEric Hunt, a wedding coach and relations based in South Carolina.

"When things are heated, we tend to say things we do not always want to say. Sleep on it can give you this time needed to cool off, and in most cases, no matter what it does not seem to appear As big in the morning, "he says.

Of course, it's true that people change over time - but only if it's motivated self. "Never have a long-term relationship, including marriage, thinking you're going to change them," says hunting. "While relationships grow and evolve, there are personality traits and means that will never change." And for wedding tips, you should actually listen, consult the50 best wedding tips from all time.

To forgive and forget not to have to go from hand. In fact, it is better to separate both, according toMONTE DRENNER, a licensed mental health advisor in Florida.

"Forgiveness is absolutely crucial to have a healthy relationship, but forgetfulness is not necessary," he says. "I worked with many couples who are beaten to each other more difficult than this is already due to the forgetting clause of the declaration." Forgive yourself and let go "is a better advice".

Although it takes time to finish being injured, even hours, days, months and years can not necessarily guarantee that everything will be fine. "If time heals wounds, so why are there crumpling elderly?" asks Drenner. "Making healthy decisions to treat wounds heal them, no time."

If your relationship is already on the rocks, a child will not do these problems suddenly. "Although problems can be masked by the excitement of a baby, they clink the glory - and when they will, [they] will be amplified," the hunt warns.

Focus on yourkids is not necessarily a bad thing, but "it puts the couple for a lot of difficulty throughout the relationship and especially once theyget empty nests"says Drenner". The relationship must be the priority, not children. If the relationship is strong, children will prosper. First put children often leads to a resentment in the relationship andChildren titled. "

Very few couples have a seamless moving experience, so if you follow these tips, you could assume that these Hochups along the path means that your relationship is doomed. But it's far from true.

"Happy and happy couples do not start compatible," explains the marriage educatorPatty Newbold. "They build their skills in relation to the small differences to be ready for the big ones who come later. Create a lifestyle and a house you are both compatible with and do it together, so you are ready for which What are diseases, losses, handicaps, career changes, character failures and child's challenges could come later. "And for some relationship tips during locking, see17 quarantine marriage tips for relational experts.

We understand the goal of dividing the household and "tasks" uniformly into a relationship or marriage. But too far in the griety nervousness to ensure that everything is equal can actually cause more problems than it is worth.

"Whether it's the emotional work of a relationship or horrible tasks, no couple can divide them equitably," says Newbold. "And there is no reason for. Love people give generously, not because they are told to say, but because it feels good ... So stop focusing on who does what. Why? Less of resentment, more gratitude, more happiness, more spontaneous affection. "

According to Newbold, concession manufacturing works well for nations or political parties, but not for couples. "It's like saying," I'm willing to accept disappointments and pain as long as the person I love most in this world is also suffering, "she says. Instead, you should look for" third alternatives ".

"It's at that moment that you give up your first idea and look together for a third option that makes you at least as happy as your first did you," she says. "You can give your partner in life the moon and the stars without becoming a doormat and, putting in place the requirements of your third alternative, you teach one on each other so much."

Of course, if there is something you need, you will definitely inform your life partner. However, "it does not in any circumstances with your partner to do something about your needs, not even if you continue to communicate your need more and again," says Newbold.

"You may find that you get a lot more if, instead of" I need it "or" you should do that, "Ask yourself for help. I'm dying to go see the 'Europe, and I know you do not like you do not like flying. Can you help me think of another traveling companion and at a good time to plan a trip? Or ", I have Really needed to talk about this decision with someone. Will you be available for about an hour in the next two days, whether to talk with me or stay at home with children while I'm having lunch with a friend? ""

Of course, there are relationships with magnificent age gaps, but experts say that couples closer to age tend to be happier. "Age has less than you get older, it's true. But dating from someone close to your age has enormous benefits," says dating and lifestyle expertAnna Bois. "You will have the same cultural references, the same interests and the same stages of life (including seniances) at the same time."

First appointments Can be nervous, but do not be afraid to trust the first impressions. "The meetings are taken into account and sometimes exhausting, so use the time to meet someone again instead," says the wood.

There is a simple alternative to these obsolete dating tips. "Whoever asked for the date should pay," explains the wood. "The other person should always offer to pay or divide! It's a good gesture that goes a long way."

"There is this belief that a person traditionally, who wins more - should always pay for each date," says Certific Financial CoachEmily Shutt. "Once you are in a more engaged relationship, it is wise to start talking about how you want to use your money as a team and you expect a person to pay for dates each time does not make sense No matter how much more money they do. "

Instead, she recommends talking about a "date budget", as well as how you could finance it. "It does not sound romantic, but explosions on long-term money frustrations are even less romantic," says Shutt.

According to Shutt, it is a common advice given to women who do not work outside the house. "They feel controlled, restricted and guilty when it comes to doing something with money, because their partner is the only source of income for the family," she says. "Believe you should not - or do not deserve to spend money if you are not the main responsibility is ridiculous and obsolete."

Yes, it's definitely a good idea to have an emergency money reserve in case the worst scenario occurs, but all your segregated funds can be a mistake.

"When you get out of the first time or in a recent relationship, of course keep your bank accounts separated," Shutt said. "Once you are married or in a long-term relationship, but I find that couples are most successful when they can combine forces and have real conversations about how they use their money as a team. Having separate accounts that the other the person is not allowed to touch or worse, do not even know - is a way to avoid difficult conversations about trust, respect and borders in the relationship. Finally, this question will be manifested in another way. "

The number of women who have further advised to keep their success under wraps while the meeting is surprisingly high, saysNatasha D. Oates, a reporting coach and a licensed therapist in North Carolina. However, some guys are just better suited to domestic roles.

"Many men are much better for cooking and cleaning than their friends," says Oates. "Today's couples find that flexibility with gender roles is helpful and that the most important factor is that the couple is working as a team."

It is not unusual for friends and family to exercise caution that someone should not involve a particular relationship. However, this advice is pretty problematic for serious couples.

"This generally encourages couples to prepare for the end of the relationship in a subtle way," says Oates. "All this really makes that the insecurities and problems of trust in the relationship. Who can really make a happy home with a foot and one foot to the exit?"

You can think of a lack ofdisagreement means that everything is great, but it might not be the case. "The truth is that if couples do not have any disagreement, they probably do not express significant ideas or needs," explains Oates. "It is important to have discussions about the needs and concerns of your relationships. Not two people have the same needs and objectives, so it is normal that disagreements occur. When couples remain silent or pleasant with needs and Important problems, they can easily start tightening the relationship because their needs and points of view are not considered. "If you have trouble with your relationship while remaining stuck at home, check15 ways to cause quarantine relationship problems.

The effort should not stop once the wedding ring involved, saysMichelle Afont, expert in relation and author ofDang's factor: a nonsense lesson on life and love. "Become too comfortable and take your partner for granted, it's when the problems and resentment begin to go up in marriage," says Afont. "It is important to stay true to the person of your married partner: emotionally, spiritually and physically."

"They could. And then again, they might not," says Afont. Nobody can predict what another person will do. If you decide to stay in a relationship despite the fact that marriage does not happen as quickly as you want, it warns that "you must be able to live with the consequences if you give too many years of your life to a relationship that does not progrise. "

The practice is perfect and perfect your communication skills is paramount. However, just because you know the stages of "perfect communication" does not mean that you will always go smoothly.

"Couples can definitely learn and practice good communication skills, especially when they feel close, secure and generally happy in the relationship," saysIrina Baechle, a relationship therapist based on North Carolina. "However, research shows that these skills do not work when couples are distressed and are competing ... We are customary creatures, so we quickly returned to our old negative schemes when things go south. "

"The truth is falling in love, it is simply a trick of nature pulling human humans to reproduce," says Baechle. "The trick always disappears because" falling in love "is temporary. However, that does not mean that we stop loving the other person; it's just the ecstatic love that characterizes the experience that goes away . And it's usually when real love starts. To start. "

Seek a completely different person from your part significantly is a disaster recipe. "You must have common interests and values," saysLisa Helfend Meyer, founding partner of the family law firm based in Los AngelesMeyer, Olson, Lowy & Meyers. "If you do not do it, there is no glue to link the relationship."

Of course, it would be impossible to find a partner who is literally exactly equal in all respects, but it is important to consider that what meets you is a worthy partner.

"Communication and respect are what it is everything," says Meyer. "If you do not want to be able to communicate to you and respect on a level playground, so what is the point?"

That's about the case, according to Meyer. Marriage changes life, sure, but it does not change who you are as a person. If your partner was a worker before you get married, there is a good chance that it will always be a post-marriage.

Money should never be a reason to stay. "Most relationships are distinguished by lack of communication and problems involving finance," said Meyer. "It's not because someone is rich does not mean that it has the other qualities you are looking for."

Although it is important not to deal with the past too much when you are in a relationship, there are serious topics that are still worth chatting.

"You should share health problems or problems that may affect children or debilitating diseases that can affect your ability to do certain activities", psychotherapistTina B. Ticina revealStir. "In addition, your partner has the right to know if the old financial problems are likely to haunt your relationship."

With respect to past relationships, many people are ashamed to admit the real number of people they slept because they are worried, their new partner will judge them or leave them. But honesty in this situation isalways The best policy.

"Any relationship that is finalized on the last time is built on two basic things - trust and respect. I think it comes with sharing as much about you as possible, including sexual history", expert from the meetingSarah Ryan revealHuffPost. "If you are in a relationship with someone you want to run the distance, so why retain previous partners and experiences? Hold on life things actually takes more energy than to share and let it go. " And for more things you should not fiber, check the60 hilarious whites are found that everyone in a relationship tells.

Although many people take these councils of friends and family and never look back, others live to regret it, declares the psychotherapistToni Coleman, LCSW. "There are many factors that can contribute toinfidelity And set a climate where he is more likely to flourish, "she says." Before moving away and give up everything you have together, get tips, find what was not working and why. Examine the reasons for looking for something from a person outside the relationship rather than your spouse. "

"Aloneyou can decide if a relationship works for you, "highlights the psychotherapistLinda miles.

It's natural for people who know and you like to assume that you are the victim, but that it is possible to contribute to the conflict of your relationship as much as your partner is. "Friends and family do not see your part in a destructive relationship dance," says Miles. "Look at the game you play in negativity andso Decide what behavior you will satisfy a partner. "

It might seem romantic in a melodramatic way, but it could not be further from the truth. "Love should make you feel better, not worse," says Miles.

Of course, it is romantic to think that the love of your life could suddenly appear in front of you in a coffee or lock eye with you because they are open a door, but this ideal can actually be problematic.

"Love is not just a magical feeling that happens at random", "expert on health and well-beingCaleb revealStir. "It is built on dedication, connection and effort. Similarly, people do not only fall in love after a certain period of time. That's why love does not come when we least expect it; In truth, it is the product of sharing existence and commitment to similar values. "

Some people assume that if you date someone who does not look conventionally attractive as you are or who is not the same success, that person will treat you better. But, according toElite Daily's Paul Hudson, Dating just leaves more space for future troubles.

"Many otherwise the most, relationships reach a point where one or both people start at Nitpick and find reasons why they should not be with that person," writes Hudson. "The more unequal relationship considers those who are there, the unlikely it is to last."

Yes, there is truth about the fact that you should not fight with your partnerallA unique day, but to imagine that any relationship will be "easy" is a harmful state of mind.

"[Relations] should not be tirelessly, at least not permanently", "Linda and Bloom de Charlieauthors ofSecrets of Great Weddings, write in a try forPsychology today. "The bad news is that some degree of effort and agony is inevitable in most relationships. The good news is that it does not need to last forever; it is usually a temporary and non-permanent condition."

You bite your language around your other significant every time you do not agree with them is certainly not healthy. So, instead of staying silent, change your way to fight.

"All couples fight," License Related AdvisorNichols de Rebecca revealPsychoentral. "The difference is that healthy couples fight with respect. [They] use disagreements to better understand each other and make changes to ensure the health of the relationship."

Your friends and family usually mean good when they say that, but sometimes their advice can really be less useful and hurtful. When they tell you that you can do better than your current partner, it can let you feel anxious and not supported - especially if you see you spend the rest of your life with your other current.

"Your friends and family do not have to love your boyfriend, but they should support you and be able to interact", Canadian dating coachChantal Heide writing. "You must do it absolutely clear that respect is of utmost importance."

"Often, it's the fact that a friend would not just choose a romantic partner like yours and simply protect their own feelings on you," therapistMiriam kirmayer revealThe ZOE report. Thus, instead of taking their remarks at the face value, Kirmayer recommends that exactly determine where the disapproval of your friend derives and from there.

If you feel that you have to read the messages of your partner (or have the right to), this "says more about you than your partner", psychologistMary Lamia revealHealth.

"If you have to ask to see your partner's texts or emails, you have crossed a line," she says. "Take a serious look at your own insecurities or admit to yourself that you are with someone you do not trust."

A little jealousy here and it does not hurt, but if your partner is used to transforming ecological eyes, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

"Jealousy can become abusive behaviors," Relationship AdvisorMajor ammanda revealCosmopolitan. "Take someone who feels jealous and prevent you from seeing family and friends, or feeling jealous if you go a coffee with a co-worker. These kinds of behaviors can become extreme and lead to abusive situations . "

When you have a loving partner and a healthy relationship, many friends and family will advise you to put it into lock with a marriage - even if it's not what suits you best.

"There is an expression:" If it's not broken, does not repair it, "says psychologistPaulette Sherman, author ofDating from the inside. "Some people feel that if their relationship is pleased and works, they do not need to complicate the legal repercussions and a ceremony that validates their outward relationship."

Despite popular belief, getting married early is not always the best idea, according to the expert in relationDiann Valentine's Day. "In fact, I encourage my clients to wait as long as they can before jumping from the broom," she says. "Who you have in your 20 years is not what you will be in your 30s or 40, then spend time to know you before jumping in a wedding that has been designed to last forever." And for deactivation of the relationship, checkNearly half of the Americans will not go out with someone who does it.