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There are two types of first dates: annoying, and those where time flies and before knowing it, you have been nestled in the corner of a bar for four full hours speaking of everything and everything.

The difference between the two? Ask the right questions. And while the meeting experts agree on the point of going to beverages, coffee or dinner with a list of prepared questions.manner Too steep (this is not a job interview, after all), questions are also an inevitable part of the first date. Here, find some twenty questions for your first meeting that will help you know your date, to discern your compatibility and arouse committed conversation. If you need advice to get to this step, check the20 best opening lines of the dating app.

If your potential partner has chosen the date point, finally start here for a natural conversation starter. "This is an excellent question that is an opening for a conversation that can go down many roads", explainsJulienne Derichs, a professional clinical professional advisor practicing in the Chicago area. For example: Is your favorite restaurant? What's your favorite dish? Do you like to cook? Do you spend in this part of the city? What was the last big group where you went to see? These are all follow-up questions that can keep dialogue while you learn to know you. Another advice to keep in mind: "You want to ask open questions that encourage complete responses rather than short answers yes or no." And does not unaware of his body language when they respond, either: here's howRead the spirit of your partner with these 10 bodily languages.

The first dates can be bizarre, then an ice circuit breaker like this one can be a great way to cut the tension. "Everyone has a story of his worst date," saysJodi J. de LucaPh.D., an authorized clinical psychologist practicing in Colorado. "Comparison of war stories to meet, it's fun and generally leads to many laughs, minimizing the clumsiness of a first date."

The biggest thing you want to avoid on a first date is to make it feel like an interrogation, and this question allows you to be relaxed and get an idea of ​​who your date is beyond what Their meeting profile (or friend who put you in place) tells you.

"If someone is still part, seems to have too many plans (if you ask them more weekends and you seem to have the same answer), or simply pass most of the working weekends, it may be 'They are not a ready relationship, "saysSTEF SAFRAN, Matchmaker and founder of Stef and the city. "If you have a feeling that they have a routine, but that leaves a place for flexibility and pleasure, then you may want this person to be worth this second date." And if you look at a second date, do not miss these40 second date irresistible ideas.

If you do not know what they do in life, you are not obliged to ask them. Give them a chance to talk about their work more generally.

"Survey of your appointment on a job gives an overview of the passions, priorities and values ​​of this person," saidAmy morin, a psychotherapist and the author of the Book Bestselling13 things that strong people mentally do not do. "Does your date work in this particular work for money? Do they find the meaning and purpose in what they do? Are they motivated to continue and do other things, or are they Contents of what they have now? It's a great way to open the door to conversation on future aspirations and the role of income plays in a person's life. "

People like to talk about their domestic animals, but there are more you can read in their response only if they are a cat or dog person.

"You have an idea of ​​how your appointment about taking commitments", explains Derrichs. Similar issues could include: "Do you have interior plants?" And "How long have you known your nearest friend?" "If your date responds by saying," I knew my best friend since kindergarten "or" I have a dog and a cat and an apartment filled with plants ", you can be quite secure as your date does not have any major commitment problem. "

"Ask your date an innocent question as they spent their childhood better understanding their education and family situation," suggestsMargaux Cassuto, Expert on the relationship and founder of the match of matchmaking three games. "Share your own story to encourage them to come. Know what has influenced their views of the world (but not always) help you determine what kind of person they are today and help you decide if you want welcome them in your life. " And if your relationship flourishes, really consider spuring your room withone of those.

"If you discover that they are very interested in Selfies, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and other social media, it could make you think twice the amount you want to share with them," says Safran. "Social media can often be as an addiction, and if someone spends more time sharing on their social media (or on the rocking side, refuses to share anything at all), you can learn more about what a relationship could be like them. Most people do not want to go out with people who overexpose their lives or who refuse to share. "

"Although it may be good to know what kind of relationship someone has with their families, their friends are 100% of their choice", Morin's notes. "Know who they choose to surround himself with you will help learn more about what they are like an individual. Do they have to be around High Achians? Do they spend mostly with people Who love to drink with them? Have they had the same friends since childhood? To know a little bit about their social circle will help you get to know them without asking 101 direct questions that can cause your appointment as an interrogation . "

How long does anyone spend with their loved ones can tell you a lot about them and what your life could be as if you keep going out with them. "Is it a person who is very family-oriented and comes home for each commemorative, baptism and Mitzvah bat?" demandJustin lio, expert in mental health and mental relationship of men. "If you appreciate your downtime and you do not like family bonds," You will want to know what you are entering ".

Do not ask if the date has passed well, of course, butresearch Suggests that the embracing plays an important role in the way we choose our partners. Surveys indicated that women and men (butabove all Women) use kisses as a way to test and evaluate a potential partner. So, if you can see you have a second meeting with your appointment, there is no reason not to see if a romantic spark is there when you lock the lips.

Before rolling your eyes on this issue to be boring and generic, listen to us. "How your date answers this question can reveal a lot of knowledge if they are well balanced and enjoy many interests or have just focused on work," said Derrichs. If they are not sure what they do to have fun or say they do not really have time to do anything outside of their work, they may not to be not the time of a relationship.

This could feel like a bad form to ask something like that, but it can provide useful tips on the date of your datereally looking for. "Most single people use applications nowadays, but if someone is not, it can be a sign that they do not look for a relationship," saysIsabel James, Matchmaker and founder of elite dating managers. "If theyare Use them, ask which ones they use. Okcupid and Match.com users usually look for something more serious than Tinder, Bumble and Grindr users. "

Worried the first date is too early to ask that? "I do not think" says Loïi. "It's just something fundamental, so before all feelings start flying, you want to know if the person does (or does not want) to share his life with other people who will probably become a higher priority than you. "

"The hearing of the future goals of someone can give you an idea of ​​the compatible with which you could be," says Morin. Do their dream holidays look like a nightmare to you? Are their sense of adventure rivals? Will their career goals take them at the top? "Understanding things they hope to do at the bottom of the road gives you an overview of the hopes, dreams and passions of this person."

"Do not be afraid to ask if they are looking for a long-term relationship with the right person," saysLaney Zukerman, Relationship coach and author. "So many people take care to ask that. It is important that you know from the beginning that if the puzzle pieces adapt, they are open to that."

Whether you like to travel or you are a total character, this question is a must. "If someone is a worker or just do not like a vacation planning, you can learn something valuable," says Safran. "This question does not shedtoo much Many, but gives you an idea if you are dealing with someone who shares your vision of leisure and travel. "

"If you are looking for someone who will focus you, you will want to know how much they value with others and how much they will need," said Loi. In addition, if you are the kind of person who needs time alone, it is important to know before becoming too deep, that you come out someone who especially likes to be around others.

In some cases, this question can lead to a lively discussion on shared academic interests, but there are alsoData Support the idea that you are significantly more likely to marry a person who specializes in the same subject you have done. And even if you have not studied theexact Same, marriages were also more likely to occur between people who have studied in similar areas, such as humanities, science or law. Of course, it is not necessary to write someone to have different educational training, but this question could provide a useful context beyond your day work.

"This answer may be able to deduce from the way your appointment about things does not go according to the plan," said Lioi. "Was they totally annoyed that the bar you planned to go to the Azez was closed and you had to go elsewhere? Remember that it is a person you will finally stay stuck in an airport."

If the first appointment well, it is often easier to judge their real interest in a second by simply asking in person. In addition, you will probably learn a lot more on them on the number two, so even if you are not fully sold, it's worth it to give it a chance.

"The second dates are a better superb compatibility because you have more information on each other," says Luca. "Second dates allows you to validate and contest all the assumptions you may have on the person on the first date. By doing so, you have more information to better make a decision and do not rush to the judgment on The point of whether it's an individual you would like to see again. "

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