It's the biggest regret in life most people have
Do not "could-if-would - it - should be" through life longer.
Everyone has regrets, but you still imagine that these regrets are turning around the mistakes you think do. May beYou regret calling your wedding. May beYou want you to have not married the man you have chosen. May beYou want to leave your job and go to BaliBut you are worried, it's the wrong choice.
We focus so much on the decisions we do in the moment, but a new study published in the newspaperEmotion indicates that the old adage always sounds true: it's not the things youto do In the life you regret - these are the things younot to do.
InA paper entitled "The ideal road is not taken" The psychologists of Cornell have identified three elements that constitute a person's sense of self. Yourreal itself consists of qualities you think you have possess. Yourideal Self is composed of the qualities you want to have. Yourshould Self is the person you feel that you should have been, according to your obligations and responsibilities.
By monitoring the responses of hundreds of participants in six studies, the researchers found that, when asked to appoint their greatest regret of life, 76% of the participants gave a leading answer: they do not have filled theirideal self.
This indicates that we could have an imperfect attitude towards the way we avoid regretting. We live in a world in which we say we will have a good life if we follow the rules. So, you think that if you do all things that the company expects you to be a good citizen, be married at a good time, do enough money to pay the bills - you will feel happy and accomplished with your life. But these are all qualities associated with yourshould Self, that the study discovered that people have limited regrets (partly because they actually act on the associated decisions). But when it comes to your dreams and your aspirations, people are more likely to let them pass unreallyed, and that's what really stresses later in life.
"People are faster to take steps to deal with the failures to respect their duties and responsibilities (related regrets) than their failures to respect their objectives and aspirations (regrets related to the ideal)", "the study is read.
"When we evaluate our lives, we think if we go to our ideal, becoming the person we would like to be. These are the regrets that will stick with you because they are what you look through the windshield of the windshield of the life, "Tom Gilovich, Irene Bluecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology in Cornell and the Copyright of the Journal,noted. "The regrets" obligated "are potholes on the road. They were problems, but they are now behind you. To be sure, there are some failures to respect our" duty "extremely painful and who can haunt a person forever; so many great works of fiction derive precisely this fact. But for most people, these types of regrets are far from being expanded by the way they are in the ideal security short . "
The results of the study indicate that it is not enough to encourage people to "do the right thing". We must establish that it is essential for people to act on their hopes and dreams and that it is not normal to continue to put them back indefinitely.
"In the short term, people regret their actions more than inactions," said Gilovich. "But in the long run, the inaction regrets to stay longer."
It also implies that we need to stop apologizing for our own inaction. SoLearn this language You have always wanted to study. Take this trip from hiking in Asia that you have been talking about for centuries. Write this book that bricole in your head for years. Do not leave for tomorrow. Only today. And for more about the things we regret later in life, check the50 most common regrets people have in their 50 years.
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