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About 16.2 million adults treated with aMajor depressive episode at least once, according to theNational Institute of Mental Health. Once you are close enough to someone you have met, your S.O. could open up on mental health problems. And if they mention depression, you might have a million questions - from what you can do to help that will mean for your relationship. To help you navigate in the situation, we chatted withMental Health Experts to get the accounts and outs of what to expect by dating from someone with depression.

Depression is not all about feeling blue

The stereotyped idea of ​​depression is a person who feels sad all the time, but it's not the only way possible to affect people. Depression can also cause mood changes that look like irritability or frustration, saysDebra Kissen, Doctorate, MHD, Clinical Director ofAnxiety treatment center. When this happens, try not to take their mood personally, "she suggests. "Acting them in a way does not mean anything on you, only how they moved by this moment [particular]," she says. And do not be afraid to go out if you feel attacked.

Meet someone with depression could affect your sex life

Depression itself and antidepressant drugs can cause low libido, so do not be surprised if your partner is not ready to go down. Do not culpse your partner or put them pressure to have sex when they do not feel like that, saysAbigael San, D.clin.psy, aPsychologist in London. "Let's know that sexual relationship is not the most important part of things," she says. Instead, focus on the construction of emotional proximity.

Recognize that you can not solve depression

If there is one thing you need to remember to go out with a person suffering from depression, it is that overcoming depression is not as easy asacclaim someone After a bad day. Although there are many things you can do to support your partner, whether it is aware of not making their health problems disappear. "Know the limits of what you can do and what you can not do - and there is a lot more than younotDo, "says Kissen. Encourage and support them, but do not put all the weight of their depression on your shoulders.

Do not give unsolicited advice

This may seem so obvious from the outside: if they focused on the positives and counted their blessings, they would feel so much better! But try to refrain from offering your two hundred when you meet a person suffering from depression unless your partner has requested it. "When we suffer, we are rarely looking for advice," Kisen said. In the same way, saying that things like "rejoice" or "things are not so bad" will not help you - depression is a matter of mental health, not a bad mood. Instead, just remember your partner that you are here for them and you believe in them.

Your partner might not want to go out all the time

Losing interest in activities is a symptom of depression, so do not be surprised (or offended) if your partner preferred to stay at home than exiting. The first step is to encourage your partner to get out of their comfort zone and follow on your plans, says Kisen. But if they insist on jump, you can only control your own actions - not theirs. "If someone is ready not to do something, this is to watch your own needs and say," This is important for me and I will do it anyway, "she says." Do not change Not your life to welcome someone's depression. "

Time face to face is more important than ever

When your partner is notTo increase dinnerThis can be easy to fall into a relationship that comes mainly on the text, emphasizes san. But when a partner has depressed, it is more important than ever to make sure you often see yourself in person. "This can be easy [for a person with depression] to hide behind a screen and can exacerbate [depression]," says San. By making a meeting point in person, you can help fight those secondment feelings of your S.o. could be experienced.

Talk it if you want to lose interest

Because depression can cause feelings of detachment, you can feel like your partner begins to lose interest. If this happens, do not just accept it like the new normal without checking with your partner. "Talk about the process is important," says San. "You have some intimacy that has just dealt with the fact that there is a loss of intimacy."

Be prepared mentally for suicide negotiations

It's scary and uncomfortable to hear someoneTalking about suicidal thoughtsBut it is important to have an open dialogue. "People may feel like it's a bad idea to talk about that. But in fact, I do not think it's a very useful way to answer," says San. By determining what really spends in the mind of your partner, you can determine whether to die is a fantasy they would never have acted or if there is a real urgency at hand, she says. Anyway, it's important to get these feelings out at opening and encouraging your partner to get help.

Let them depend on you is not useful

In some couples, the non-depressed partner begins to make the weight of household chores, such as preparing dinner, paying bills and cleaning, says San. "You can end up with a kind of secondary gain as a depressed person," she says. "You do not have to do things, which is bad for a variety of reasons." Pushing your partner at the height of your partner is just taking the burden of you, it also active.

Try to understand what you can do to help

At the meeting with a person suffering from depression, keep an open conversation will help you and your partner will help you cross depressive episodes. Talking about whatdoes not haveworked in the past can be as useful as knowing whatIsWork, says Kisen. Perhaps your partner's parents used to try to overload nuggets, so that the type of sugar coating puts his teeth on the edge. Kissen recommends proposing a codeword when your partner needs space. "Do not be a complete sentence, but a quick stenography to give when they just have to be alone," she says.

Everything can not be blamed on depression

It may be tempting to consider another significant and not disinterested and assumes that they must have undiagnosed depression. But unless they are reallygot psychiatric work Or you talked about changing behavior, you can not assume that mental health problems are behind their actions. "Sometimes they act so because they are not interested in the relationship or because they take their frustration about other people," Kisen said.

Dating someone with depression does not mean that you can never call it left

Some couples are not supposed to be. If your depression of S.o. or something else about the relationship - becomes too much, and that the relationship and your own mental health suffer, break can be the right thing to do. "It's perfectly just saying," I want the best for them, but I have to do what is best for me, "Kisen said. You may feel guilty of adding to the list of your Partner to feel, but it's not your responsibility to make them happy, and you should not feel stuck in a bad relationship.

If you or someone you know about suicidal thoughts, call 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or Text House at the Crisis line at 741741.