Good Lifestyle

Unless you are compulsiveliar Or a professional concept (honestly, we hope you are not either), you will probably find that you do not naturally come to you. Let's be clear: it's a good thing.

Now we would never encourage you to occupy the dark art of deception, but there are cases in which you really lie a good thing, and it would take you to be a little better on that. To help you, we asked people to assess whether someone is honest with them-CIA officers, poker championships, law enforcement officials, therapists and more - To get their ideas on how to avoid getting caught when you try to tell a whopper. So read and good luck!

One of the greatest ways of giving you do not say the truth is that you lose your confidence in you and convince yourself that the person you lie to know that you do not give them straight answers. In fact, there is a good chance they have no idea, and if you trust you, you will probably get away from it.

"Humans only identify lies correctly at a rate of about 50%," saysAndrew Bustamante, a former covered CIA officer who lived under cover for nearly ten years. "It means that there is always the shadow of doubt when someone tries to evaluate if you lie or you are honest. Do not forget that you have the advantage because you alone know with 100% of certainty that you lie. "

This may seem obvious, but even the smallest adjustment in your story is likely to lift suspicions in a skeptical auditor. "If you change anything about your original story, you introduce the contradiction and you degrade credibility," says Bistamante. "Even the daring lie will be accepted as" possible truth "as long as you keep your story coherent. Do not believe me? Look at the debates between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in 2012. "

Know what your story is reduced to the smallest details, and do not escape one of one of one of the most widespread.

Bustagante points out that, in general, "people always assume honesty," but only if your lies are credible.

"Keep your lies in the field of reality and you almost always convince the person sitting in front of you," said Bistamante. "Lie on your age within five years, your size at less than two inches and your salary less than $ 15,000 and no one will ever catch you."

One of the best ways to avoid looking like a liar is not to know if you're elongated at all.

"Professional poker players will refuse information to themselves so that they can not reveal secret information," said Michael Josem, a poker security expert.

It gives the example of a poker pro vegetable player who could not even look at their cards as long as it's their turn to act, so even if they had a bad habit of subtle reactions to their cards, Players who must act sooner can not learn anything from them.

"Similarly, they can avoid watching community cards until it's in turn and go instead of this time on opponents' observation," he says.

Another effective way to avoid being taken in a lie is to keep your chat-chit at a minimum. Only say what you must absolutely, reduce the odds you would say something suspect - or your body language will give up.

"If you play poker against a sophisticated opponent, in general, you will want to reduce the information you will give them," says Josem. "Rather than trying to deceive someone or lying to me, you are much better to minimize the amount of information you give, than trying to deceive them."

Corporal language is often a more delicate gift than any word that comes out of your mouth, so you want to minimize your conversation, the same goes for your body language. Act Natural, but keep your movements limited.

"Basically, poker is a game of information, and the more you give information to an opponent, the more likely they will provide a good decision," says Josem. "Thus, two sophisticated players will try to control their bodies to behave in a very repetitive way, so that the same information as possible is as little as possible."

If you are going to lie, keep it as true as possible.

"In your story, the foundation and many of the facts should be something that is true and something you know well," says Laura Macleod, a therapist and a human resources expert and creator ofINSIDE OUT project.

She gives the example of your late race to meet your partner, perhaps because you bought and spent more money than they wish. The story you specify to your partner may include your trip to the store, your purchase of necessary items and / or your attempt to find the necessary items and maybe the store was cluttered and you had to wait online, With the exception of the exceedance you made at the cash register.

"The point is that you can sell this," says Macleod. "You know the store, what they sell, how crowded it is, the inefficiency of clerks, etc. When you talk about what you know, it is easier to commit to that. When you are Engage, your listener also goes. "

Defense is a dead gift that you have something to hide. If the person you are talking about increasing questions about your story, keep things light, happy and relaxed.

"If you are questioned,smile, "says Macleod." It immediately takes the warmth of you and painted you as totally innocent. Try to help the listener get it: "I do not know what you do not understand. Do you know how slow these clerks to X Store - do you note the time we waited for 15 minutes to get a price? Attract the attention of you and use what you know how to start your listener. "

Fidanger, often swallow or showing a general sense of voltage are typical non-verbal means that liars are revealed, according to Ashley B. Hampton, Ph.D., an authorized psychologist and an owner ofPsychology, advice and evaluations, LLC. And one of the most effective ways to get these ticks under control? Regular breathing.

"Breathing is slowly helping to reduce anxiety, which will help sweaty and Cottonmouth's feeling of making someone swallow often," she says.

"Being in the moment and focusing on the conversation is a way of helping to reduce blood pressure and eyes in the room," adds Hampton.

If you can stay fully focused on the person you talk about and you feel present, rather than distracted or preoccupied, the information you transport will be as much more congruent and credible.

According to the expert in corporal languagePatti wood, author ofSnap: make the most of the first impressions and charisma,The usual liars are likely to change the subject when they have been taken in a lie or when the person they speak with raises questions about their event version.

"Truth Turners will not abandon the conversation before convincing the person who thought they had a mental that they said the truth," she says. "Liars want to change the subject and put an end to the conversation, saying," I do not want to talk about it "or try to change the subject or distract the person."

Similar to the modification of the subject, the liars tend to the simplifications or the absolute statements, according to the wood, which gives examples like: "I never lie" or, "I am not that kind of person", like the kind of fragile defense You could hear someone who is not entirely honest. Instead, a more nuanced answer to the current specific issue is more likely to be perceived as honest.

A good liar lies only as a last resort. Instead of emitting total falsity, they will answer a question with another question. Here's an example: Let's say you are invited to say that you certainly have a less than commendable behavior that you have certainly done, but you would like to deny. ("Have youreally Blow a great on these boots? ")

Instead of distinguishing something simple and denial, "nevertheless!" "Repeat with something in the sense of:" Come on, how are you mute I'm? "Chances are, your inquisitor will drop the subject on the spot. They would not want to insult your intelligence, could they?

Do not offer facts that could easily be checked and have been difficult to know, says Bruce Hurwitz, arecruiter and career counselor, which gives the example of claiming that you were late "because of an accident" when a few questions or a check of the traffic report could reveal that no accident happened along the 'itinerary you have claimed.

"It's the beauty of the" my dog ​​ate my homework, "he says." Go prove it! "

"You must be able to" sell "the lie", says Hurwitz. "You have to do and maintain a visual contact and have a good posture. If you turn away, or your shoulders fall, or act, it can be interpreted as a sign of nervousness or lack of confidence. Honest people. do not need to be nervous and do not miss trust. "

Similarly, you should not make facial expressions wide variation or rapidly evolving if you want to be believed.

"Do not change your facial expression," said Hurwitz. "If you believe that the person you talk about it believes that your lie and that you smile, it can lengthen you."

"If people ominate their lies - if they are too conscious that they lie - then it becomes too much pressure and that they become obsolete, and deception becomes obvious:" Neil Wood, a former cop under cover, "saidVice. "If you have to think about it too, that's what renders you."

In other words, it is not necessary to make a ton of homework on a brand. It is not necessary to memorize a hundred canned returns and contingency sentences. Just, in the moment, go with your intestine. If you have internalized the previous tips, the lies will flow like water - and no one will suspect one thing. And if it makes you feel a little guilty, well,That's why die is good for you.

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