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Most people say they would never consider a long distancelove relationship (or, abbreviation-talk, LDR). But what is usually before they have no choice. (Hey, full of curveball life.) And while we can all agree that distance relationships are not ideal, they are certainly not the end of the world or even knell death of your relationship. In fact, with the good state of mind, the expectations on the right, and the good pieces of tips on long distance relationships, you can have a LDR that feeds and strengthens over time. We have exploited experts to get their tips on the best long distance relationship tips, as to talk about your long distance partner and more ways to keep it interesting while you are separated. So read the following, and keep alive the spark!

Tips on long distance relations from the pros:

1. Define Clear Personal Boundaries.

One of the most important interurban relations pieces is to define borders. "First and foremost, you and your need for a partner to define guidelines: what is acceptable, which is not," saysApril davis, expert in relation and founder ofLuma luxury matchmaking. You do not need to tell you that loyalty boundaries are important, but it turns out thatstaff The boundaries play a huge role in distance relationships. "Long-distance relationships fail because of a lack of trust and invasion of space, even if it is just a virtual space. »

2. Pretend that you are single.

Yup, for real. In addition to having made a physical relationship with someone else, the experts say that you can very well behave as you want it as when you were alone.

"Do what you want," recommendsGabriella I. Farkas M.D., Ph.D., founder of health and behavioral medicine of pearls. "Rejoice in your life and your achievements. Post photos and status on social media on how you are and what you did. Spend time with friends. Basically, enjoy your life!

"The more you know and you appreciate, the better you can focus on knowing and enjoying your partner when you are together," she says.

3. Never spend more than three months away.

An important issue that everyone seek long distance relationships as long as you can go without seeing your partner. "Ideally every three months are the minimum," saysRami fu, A coach of meetings and experts, although your delay can vary as long as you agree on that together. "It's so we do not forget why you like this person in the first place, and get some sex. It will also allow you to see how they evolve as a person. »

4. Do not talk every day.

You might think about talking every day when you are in a LDR is a must. The truth is, the experts say that it is really not necessary and could really harm your relationship. "You do not need to be in constant communication," Davis said. "Keep part of the living mystery!"

If you go a few days without talking to your S.o., you will have a more interesting conversation to look forward in a few days. In addition, keep the tabs on another person and provide them with constant updates can be exhausted.

5. Do not count exclusively on technology.

"In this era of electronic devices, you can connect more deeply with your partner by unplugging," notesBonnie Winston, A Celebrity Liaison Officer and Related Expert. "Escargot Mail is underestimated. Try to send a love note a spritz of your Cologne or favorite perfume." It is one of the most touching pieces of tips on long distance relationships.

6. Know what success means in you.

It's hard to know if things are going well in your long distance relationship if you do not have an objective in mind. Do you want to have a short period of separation? Finish by getting married? Stay married, even if your jobs do you take in different locations? Having an idea what success means for you and if you get closer or not, it's the key when you try to evaluate whether things "work" or not.

7. Flirting with other people.

In a way that does not cause, of course. "It may seem risky, but a harmless flirt, like giving your barista a persistent smile or offer a compliment to a stranger can be good for your relationship as long as you are respectful of yourself, your partner and the third party", saidDr.Jess O'Reilly, The sexologist resident of astroglide. "You do not have to close your sensual side just because you are separated by the distance. In fact, some of the happiest couples use extra-relational flirting as an ignition wood to feed their own flirting, seduction and sexual spark in the relationship. "

8. Does your partner do not benefit.

Maybe you like to go shopping, go to the gym and see movies and your partner does not likeall of these things. Why not take advantage of your time remotely and do as many of these activities as you like? It's a great way to find a silver lining at your time, according to Dr. Farkas.

9. Tell people of the relationship.

If you are wondering how to operate long distance relationships, you will need to be clean on the fact that you are in one. "Most long distance relationships do not seem" real "like people in person," saysDavid Bennett, a certified advisor and a relationship expert. "Part of this is that there is still a stigma that is associated with them. To make it more normal, make sure everyone who counts you locally (friends, family and people who want to go out with you) knows that you are in a long distance. "

To be clear, you do not have to talk about your S.o. All the time, but keep it a secret or treat them like a after-blow is a quick way to ruin the chances of your relationship to succeed, says Bennett.

10. Make sure you are not suitable.

This mainly concerns those who start their relationships from afar, but with more popular online dating than ever, it's important to mention. "There are amazing long distance relationships, however, many people claim to be a person they are not," saysKiundra Jackson, LMFT, author ofThe art of relations: 7 components Each relationship should have to prosper. "Before getting or staying in a long distance relationship, make sure the person is exactly who they said they are."

11. Make sure you meet "the one".

Real discussion: "The only real reason to engage in a long distance relationship is because you believe they are" the one "," saysKevin Darné, expert in relation and author. It's true. "If you come from dating for pleasure, you could also do it locally."

12. See fighting as a good sign.

This long distance relations board will serve you in any type of relationship. All relations undergo ups and downs, but a study in theWedding and family newspaper found that couples who use constructive strategies to resolve disagreements, as listening to everyone's point of view and trying to make their partner laugh were less likely to break on arguments. So, instead of jumping on a conversation that would allow you to get grievances from your chest, use it as an opportunity to work through team things.

13. Do not give them the play.

Why? Well, it boring. "You do not need to share all the details of your day to stay connected," explains O'Reilly. "If you are only going to talk about your agenda (what you did today and what you do tomorrow), you may be better to skip the phone call. Sometimes, are needed and relevant, but if your conversations are reduced. On the agenda, it is unlikely that you feel passion - it does not matter if you are separately together. Instead of sharing daily updates, talk about your biggest fears, your celebrations and of your dreams. Talk about all the things you want to do (G-noted and racy) once you have gathered. "

14. Remember that your partner is not perfect.

"Some partners tend to idealize their relationship and reminding us as better than it is in reality," said Ehagrony Research ScientistJonny Beber. "Research has shown that couples with more idealization in their relationships are more likely to separate due to unstable relationship." When you remember the good things on your S.o., you may be disappointed when you have the chance to see again. Instead of building them in your head to be an ideal partner, try to keep things in perspective.

15. Do not underestimate reflected surprises.

"Surprises are always welcome in a relationship, but long distances can benefit more because the lack of daily physical interaction," saysJustin Lavelle, Communications Manager forBad. "Surprises can be anything surprise visits to send small gifts just for the devil. Long-distance relationships suffer when one or both sides think they are forgotten or ignored. Special treats say more than a phone call or text because of particular attention and time to coordinate it. "

16. Consider an open relationship.

Certainly, they are not for everyone, but if you really have trouble being separately, an open relationship can facilitate loneliness with LDRS. "Loneliness can be difficult to overcome," says Farkas. "If you and your partner are both comfortable and accept it, everyone can explore to see others in your area while being a couple. You would be surprised to know how many people are open to go out with a person already committed. "

17. Do not replace your "calendar".

"There is nothing more painful than looking at someone calls their partner because he's 7:00 and they talk every night at 7:00," sayseharmony CEOGrant Langston. "It's so much rote and forced." If you want to succeed, you must keep things interesting.

18. Know that a bad visit does not mean that you break.

If you are in a long-term LDR, it is normal to have large visits and not so large with your partner. Sometimes the pressure to see each other after that can cause tensions, even when you are actually excited to catch up your so if you have a visit that is not going as well as expected, do not skip conclusions about what It means for your relationship.

19. Send sex who need to decipher.

Let's be real: In 2019, the sextage is a required part to be in a long distance relationship. But by relying on obvious tactics, but guarantees that things will be boring fast enough. "Instead of sending clear photos of your hottest body parts, send close-ups that require your partner to edit angles and change perspective to make the full picture," suggests O'Reilly. "Being playful and keep your partner guess is both key to passion in a relationship."

20. Have a personal project.

If you were in a close distance and you are now in a long distance, you will end up with a lot more time on your hands. It's also true if you encountered before and keep a single person who lives far. Whether it's a marathon training, prepares your own beer or join a bowling league, it's a useful distraction for having something you like to invest your new free time.

21. Understand that LDRs are actually quite normal.

Research Shows that 75% of committed couples have been in a long distance relationship at some point. When put into perspective, being in a LDR resembles much less than a big deal.

22. Have a sexual strategy.

This could be embarrassing to talk, but you have to have one. "Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the main reasons why people are breaking long-distance relationships," said Fu. "The best way to work around this is to come to a sexual agreement. For some couples, it's a regular telephone and video. For others, it's an open relationship of some sort. There is no No better, but you need it. "

23. Forget your relationship once in a while.

"You probably have a lot about your relationship, so focus on that," says Farkas. "Take days when you avoid everything that reminds you strongly. Do not a few days a week can loosen part of the deep attachment of such that you miss them less without loving them less. "

24. Keep short and sweet calls.

"Make sure phone calls, texts, skype or facetime are engaging," recommends in Lavelle. "Skyping with your partner and be distracted by other things will have a much bigger negative impact than doing the same thing by sitting next to each other. Make sure you hire."

25. Reassure your partner - in reason.

"One of the greatest challenges of long-distance relationships is the issue of loyalty and commitment," Bennett's notes in its long distance relationships. "It's hard to never be physically present with someone you're in love."

As you want to make sure you take care of you first first of all emotionally, it's also a good idea to support your S.o. When you know they really need it. "Give them extra assurance when they doubt if it can work."

26. Recognize that change is inevitable.

Research Also shows that the most common reason for distance relationships does not work is that couples do not generally plan to evolve unexpected in the relationship. The time you have separated, your relative locations, and the circumstances of your separation could change over time. Be ready for that, and be ready to talk about it instead of closing you with an unexpected bump on the road.

27. Try to have a digital date.

"Even if your other significant is 6,000 miles away, you can always go out with a date," said Winston. Instead of just having your typical phone call or your video chat conversation, try to have an appropriate date night. "Pour a glass of wine and dine together. Even if it's virtual, it can be a good experience. I advise my clients in long distance relationships to do it to increase the link and feel connected. "

28. Do not stress on miles.

If you and your partner and your partner is in a few hours, it's not so difficult to see each other regularly. But here is a little glimmer of hope for those who are in bi-coastal or international relationships. A study published in theJournal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that couples with another physical distance between them were more likely to have better results. Even if it could be difficult, it's worth hanging there!

29. Do not make assumptions.

Many people think that all long distance situations are condemned to failure. It isabsoutely Not true, but if you are believing, it could become a self-directive prophecy. Try to keep a positive state of mind and remember that there is14-15000000 Other people in America crossing the same thing.

30. Place a time limit on the relationship.

Very few people agree with being in a LDR forever. If you are one of those people - great. Otherwise, think how long you are ready to do the long distance. "Okay with your partner that if the relationship is worth staying, you will close the distance through a moving partner or go to both a pleasant place," Jackson says. "In addition, if the relationship is not developing by a certain period, do not hesitate to end the relationship to avoid staying in something that is not suitable." And for more breakup, see these15 The worst reasons to delay a break.

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