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When things in awedding Start going to AFRI and you have reached the point of consideringdivorcedYou may consider something else: if a split is the right decision or not. After all, no one arrives atend of their marriage easily; You do not just look at a bomb like, should I have a divorce? "

The short answer is: it's never an easy decision. Deciding to deposit divorce sets in the motion A variety of concrete challenges - hammering custody agreements to be determined who go home - so it's essential to be realistic and keep a head up when we weigh or No should follow.

But if you and your spouse have used the resources available to help you make a thoughtful decision about your relationship, you can feel stronger to progress. AsVirginie Williamson,An authorized marriage and a family therapist in Fairfield, Connecticut, says,"It is important to have healthy self-care practices in place when you move to the divorce process." (These will be useful when you are ready toTell your partner that you want a divorce, too much.)

That's why we talked about expert wedding counselors for their best advice to find out how it is time for you to move to the next chapter and the divorce record. Hopefully these signs will give you an overview of whether it's worth working.

1. You do not fight - but you do not communicate either.

"If you fight or if you were fighting, go to a phase not to speak significantly at all may feel like relief, but it could also be a sign that you both abandoned to be understood," says "Tina B. Ticina, PhD, a psychotherapist and the author ofThe Dr. Romance Guide to Find Love Today.

TherapistDr. Susan Edelman accepted. "A major red flag is when your partner will not discuss your problems or do not go to couples therapy with you to work on your problems," she says. If you do not care about you either to want to work things, it can be a sign that the marriage ran its course. "

2. You feel indifferent.

Prolonged feelings of indifference to your spouse are a major sign that something is disabled in your wedding, explains Williamson. When you stop taking care of what the other person thinks and feels, you have lost the ability to listen and connect, which will not be easy to repair.

3. You are bitter about the relationship.

If negative thoughts have started replacing how you see your partner, things can be directed to divorce. "Rather than feeling affection, you feel bitter and regretted with your relationship," says Edelman. It goes hand in hand without you wanting to talk about things because you are probably too angry or resentful.

4. There is no physical privacy.

It's not a secret thatSexual changes after marriage. "Although sex in long-term relationships is not easy and self-inflamed excitement, it's at first, it's always the heart rate of your relationship," says Tessina. "If you have not learned to keep your sex life alive, and it houses an injury in the relationship that could invite a link," she warns. If you think you are directed to divorce because oflack of sex in the relationshipIt is always possible to search for advice to find out what does not work. But if you have spent the feeling attracted by your partner, divorce can be the next step.

5. There is also no emotional intimacy.

Feeling close to your long-term partner goes well beyond the physicality of the relationship. Williamson emphasized that the exhaustion of emotional intimacy is also as big as a sign that the most apparent lack of sex. If you want to not be able to connect with your spouse on a deeper level or you do not want, you have lost an important part of the wedding.

6. You are only parents, not partners.

If you have so much focused on creating a family andRaise your childrenAnd left your relationship with the path, you can see that you have completely lost your connection. "Your marital relationship is vital. This is the basis of your family," Tessina said. But if you have become so in your parents' role you forget to be partners, intense feelings of frustration and neglect can end and report a need for an end.

7. You can not escape the drama.

Ticina points out that people who grew up in a household with parents who have created a lot of drama will probably make the same thing when their relationship looks like it is on the rocks. "Struggle, cold silences, leave and return - this type of drama is never necessary," she says. "If you can not understand how to sit as an adult and talk about what the solution could be, the drama will consume the relationship and lead to divorce."

8. You doubt not only the relationship, but yourself.

While Williamson says the ambivalence is a natural part of the divorce, "if you can not be the person and the partner you would like to be, it is worthwhile if the relationship is sustainable," she says. In addition, if your personality has changed so radically that you can no longer find things to connect with your spouse, the wedding may not work in the long run.

9. Things feel out of control.

Whether because of money problems, because someone isWork too much, or because someone has started to display signs of dependence or stress, when things start to feel uncontrollable and that problems are bigger than those of you, it's time to help you or get out , said Tessina.

10. You or your partner are you closed.

Stonewalling-defined as complete withdrawal of interaction in a relationship - is a huge sign that things may not be able to be elaborated. Edelman says that the partners who resist to work on the relationship because they have become emotionally unavailable may not be able to return to a place where they feel like they are vulnerable. Once this wall is up, it's hard to go down.

11. Conjugal councils did not help.

All our experts recommend advising before reaching a conclusion to dissolve a marriage, but sometimes it is not enough."Getting tips early, before the tragedy fix it, will help you create a successful wedding," Ticina said. But Edelman warns that once love turned to hatred, it's too late.

12. You can imagine life without them.

"If you can imagine a life without your partner, without associated negative feelings, it's time to consider a divorce"Maria Sullivan, expert in relation and vice-president ofDating.com RecountThe day of the woman. When you are no longer committed to building a future with your spouse, it may be time to enter a new chapter.

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