Good Lifestyle

Even the most honestparents Have the habit of fiber to their children from time to time. We tell them thatSanta Claus is right; We tell them that their eyes would be stuck if they continue to roll them to us; And some of us even tell them that the iced cream truck plays only its song when it is empty. However, there is a very big difference between aharmless lie and one that can indélangerToo bad to your children-And, it's important to know the difference.

"Confranching for children to die more to maintain the original lie", declares the licensed therapistPink skeetrs, LPC, PN2, NCC, a specialist in early childhood trauma withProsper: spirit / body In Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania. "Children will eventually discover the truth with the deception that comes to create a band of elaborate reside. This will cause a breakdown in the attachment and communication as well as mistrust." So, before ruining your relationship with your child, read it to discover the things you should never lie to your children.

Think twice before telling your children that they will be left behind if they do not follow your rules. "First of all, it can be really scary to a child," said therapistRaffi Bilek, LCSW-C, Director of theBaltimore Therapy Center. "Cause someone fears abandonment, literally, is harmful for theiremotional well-being. Secondly, you do not point out, and level empty threats to your children weaken your authority with them rather than strengthening it. »

Everyone releases from time to time - parents included. And if your past is filled with missteps, your children could potentially learn, it's better to say now and control the story.

"You can not be perfect and teach your kids that they can and must be a one-way ticket for disaster!" saidCarla Buck, Ma, Lmcha, Mental Health TherapistWarrior brain, based in Dubai. "Modeling manufacturing roles of creation and repair of thefault For your child to teach them a lot more than to claim that you have understood everything to start. "

As difficult as possible to admit, even the parents sometimes spoil. If you are not willing to let your children know that even you deceive yourself from time to time, you put obstacles to the communication and the creation of a precedent for dishonesty and obstinacy.

Leaving your children to feel that everything is fine in your wedding until the day you will sign thosedivorced The papers can create serious confidence problems and a sense of insecurity that your children will probably not be able to pass this easily.

"There is a difficult period even more difficult when, not so-child in the end ultimately the truth about what is happening," says the family family specialist of Los AngelesSteven Fernandez. "Being honest does not mean telling children all the details of what's going on. If parents become divorced because ofinfidelityIt may not be necessary to disclose this detail right now, especially if children are very young. You can always be honest and explain that mom and dad will no longer be together because they were distinguished, which is something that happens sometimes in relations. "

Of course, your preschooler can insist, no matter what you just have 12 years to all their friends, but who actively lie to them from your age, you can return it over time. Not only is it a lie someone - maybe even your spouse - is certain to correct them at some point, but that also sends the message that there is something undesirable aboutto get old.

Do not tell your children that theirgrandfatherDeceased or saying that their chat dear party went to "live on a farm" will eventually create a serious mistrust between you and your children. Although it's never easy to discuss death with children, which gives them the idea that an important person or creature of their lives could spend time with them, but simply the choice of not the to make unwanted and abandoned.

The same advice goes for the foreign of the family. When you say to your children that someone is dead when they are no longer in your life, he may cause a major tension when the truth is discovered. If your child looks like what they have been deceived from a relationship with a family member, it can indelibly encourage their relationship with you.

Warning Your children that they will be torn by monsters if they do not curl that their seat belts can work for a while, but they will finally interrogate this logic and can even stop obeying you completely. Although it is a strong discussion to have, explaining the actual consequences if they break specific security rules will report to them these warnings.

A watermelon seed will become a melon of water if swallowed? Does the gum take seven years to digest? Of course, the answers to these questions are clearly resounding "no", but the little children who hear these high stories can become seriously stressed to cause unexpected harm without good reason.

Of course, you do not want to make your children fearful whenever they go to thedoctorBut, but tell them that things will not hurt when they will certainly promote the mistrust between you. Even worse, doing so, it can make felt as if you have decreased by their pain, making it more difficult for them to tell you when something is wrong.

Your family history ofDiabetes Wherecardiopathy is probably not if relevant for your children when they are little, but keeping your children in the dark on these potentiallyinherited Diseases can affect their health as you get older. Although there is no reason to inform your five-year-old child that most of your family members died ofCardiac crises Before spending 50 years, keeping this information from your teenager and your young adult children could inadvertently put them in danger.

It's not just physical health problems that you should be transparent with your children. YourMental Health question too. If you or your family members are subject todepression Or other mental health problems, let your kids know can help disintegrate these problems and give your children better what happens if and when they find themselves treated with them.

You may not be proud of yourRun-ins with the lawBut do not let your children know the truth about your file can lead to the trust and honesty of the problems of the line.

"They could be upset or confused at first, but telling them what's going on, you are able to control the story and make sure they get all the story," says criminal defense counselAmbrosio Rodriguez ofThe Rodriguez Law Group In Los Angeles, California. "You have the ability to help them treat what's going on and understanding how this could affect them and the family as a whole. You will also show your children as you trust them and you see them as mature, growing individuals. By leaving, you could end up doing things and putting pressure on your relationship and set a precedent forCommunication less than honest. "

It is not appropriate that you can discharge all your feelings about your children. But, on the other hand, to pretend that you are happy when you can not have serious repercussions.

"It creates a false sense of reality of whatjoy is and looks like ", explains a certified professional advisor and a parenting expertGretchen Campbell North Carolina. "I have worked with many families who have laid a facade for years, then tell the children they are divorced the day when a parent came out of the house. Children have often verbalizedmelt And feel like their life was a lie. "

If you have decided thatwedding Just not for you or you expect to shout the knot, simply lie on your marital status to your children can have harmful effects surprisingly and potentially legal. Although this does not seem to seem like a big problem, when your child has to complete financial documents for student loans, they will need to know if you were hitched when they entered this world.

Tell a child that they areadopted is never an easy conversation for a parent to have, but it is about italways worse. According to Campbell, not being honest about your child's adoption status "can potentially lead to confusion and resentment of identity because it becomes older."

Tell your children that they need to attendUniversityTo reach your own level of success, it is always a problematic statement, but it is particularly problematic when you have not yet assisted or never gained a degree. When your child discovers that you have not had the academic success that you claim to have had, it is prudent to assume that they will use this as an excuse for not going to college, either.

You do not want to scare your children thinking that you are about to be safe at any time. At the same time, being realistic of your finances will be able to pay long-term dividends. Instead of avoiding carefully to talk about cash or showing it as if you have an endless money offer, explain to your children that money is the result of hard work and indicate to Some years.budgeting information. This can put them in place for a greater long-term success.

Do you have to buy your kids all your bank account allows? Of course not. That said, telling your children that they can not have certain things because you can not afford when you can not just teach them the appropriate lesson - that they do not receive gifts whenever they ask - but it can also create a sense of financial insecurity that can lead to seriousnessstress.

Giving your children access to credit without adequate explanation of how it works is a lie by omission that can define them for major financial problems in the line.

"Never lie to your child or teenager on the ease of use of a credit card. Do not replace your child as if everyone receives one in life," says Buck. "The discount on A credit card to your child tells them that they do not have to respect their own borders or limitations and that there is little value to know which boundaries and limitations. This will make more damage to your child or your young adult you'll ever know. "

If you lied to your children to have severeallergies For pets as a way to avoid their requests from a puppy, you will have discovered one day. For the feelings of your children and to avoid an argument, it is better to admit that you do not want to recover after a giant fur ballandthem.

Tell your children that they are allergic to ice cream or French fries may seem a way to dissuade them from eating these foods, but it can quickly fire fire. When they discover that they are not allergic, they can think that everything is fine to play it quickly and food they really haveare Allergic to those that could trigger a potentially harmful reaction.

Of course, your children do not need to know about the ins and out of yoursex life. However, it is paying to answer honestly when they ask questions about wherebabiescomes from. Not only will it make them less worried about a giant bird leaving surprise newborns in the garden, but it is also a useful lesson that can help prevent unwanted pregnancy, especially if their school has a sexual policy. 'abstinence.

Setting clear expectations for your children can make everyone's life much easier in the long run. When you install KeyStroke software logger on their devices, tell them; If you want them to do something academic during the summer, tell them. If you are not transparent, you can - and quickly erode the confidence you have built with them.

While saying your children that they must behave because the Santa's always monitors may seem an easy solution, it will only work for so long. (And what incentive should they continue to follow the rules once they discover the truth about Santa Claus?) Instead, tell your children that you are the one who sees them when they sleep and who knows when they are awakening. And if you want to promote a healthy relationship with your children, start with these40 parental breeding hacks of an incredible child.

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