The secret for better communication with your partner, according to a relationship expert
"Compassion is one of the most powerful tools we have."
Everyone always says that the key to a long-term successfulRomantic partnership is a healthy communication. But communication is not as easy as it sounds. It does not matter how much we are trying to avoid, arguments occur. And when they do, it is important that we do not interpose the situation as we against. In fact, having more compassion for your partner could be the key to a healthier and happier relationship.
Shirley Baldwin, coach of relations and author ofGet what you want from your man, recently saidBetter life thisEverything happens to something that is simple in theory but difficult in practice: trying to understand the perspective of your partner.
Many women tend to label men like "the enemy", but Baldwin advocates a more compassionate view that takes into account that, like women, men have feelings that they do not always express the healthiest .
"Kindness and compassion are often considered as signs of weakness. I see the opposite, "said Baldwin." Compassion is one of the most powerful tools we have. Having a control over your emotions is much more difficult to do than react and allow anger, impulsivity and frustration of taking over, but it's worth it. "
Here is an example: your husband returns from work and is visibly irritated even before closing the door. It becomes unreasonably bored by you so as not to have done the linen again, when you promised. Thehousework Are a painful place between you two, as they are with many cohabiting couples. You consider it a personal attack and a personal attack, saying that it would not kill him to pick up a sock from time to time. It represents and all the spirals from there.
Is it abad day at work to justify going out on you? No, but do we all come from time to time? Yes. Does this make all about us instead of seeing what the real problem helps the situation? Not at all.
And if, instead, you could answer for his annoyance not to be defensive, but saying, "Hey, are you going well? Something took place at work today?" According to Baldwin, you might be surprised to find that - instead of an argument - this indication ofsympathy And the opening helps your partner make fun and allow you to discuss the true source of his frustration. Instead of conversation ending with you, the two attacked and wounded feelings, you reach a larger placeprivacy and the comprehension.
"If you see as a reactor, you will react, try to match the energy of the other person and will increase only the situation further," she says. "If you see yourself like a creator - like someone one that canconversation, calm the emotions and defuse a battle - you will appear in a way that could bring out another side of the other person. "
And for more good relationship tips, seeCreate a visual contact is the key to a healthy wedding, say experts.
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