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It is generally not terribly difficult to identify a narcissistic, or at least one person who displays narcissistic trends. After all, it is a real psychological disorder, that theAmerican psychiatric association Defines as "comprising an ubiquitous model of magicalness, a constant need for admiration and a lack of empathy". Disorder of narcissistic personality, or NDP, affects about 1% of the population, according to a coverage of 2016 inPsychology today.

To identify a narcissist in the wild, look for the person who divert almost all the conversations you have with them. Or the friend who never seems to doeffort to understand your problems. Both presented features used to classify a person with NDP.

But when it comes to transforming the lens on yourself, well, it can be a little more difficult. After all, it's human nature to turn a blind eye on poor personal behavior - and this is especially true for narcissistic. To this end, we have rounded, directly from mental health experts, all dead gifts and revealing signs of real narcissistic presents regularly.

Although the narcissal struggles to form real links with peers and partners ", they can be charismatic, often smart enough, charming and very striking," saysRamani Durvasula, PhD, an approved clinical psychologist. In the end, which separates an attentive charming person of a charming deceptively charming is whether they maintain their ways or slowly turn into a person who does not listen and lack of empathy.

The need for special attention probably comes from childhood, according to the psychotherapistKIMBERLY HERSHENSON."If the individual was either too pampered or too criticized, they may have difficulty insecurity,low self-esteem, or jealousy, "she says." In order to fight against these feelings, they can try to put [themselves] on a pedestal to try to feel better. "

If you are narcissistic, the only limits you recognize are that you own. In some cases, you can not be aware of a person's borders, while in others you know, but you do not care to cross them.According toPsychoentral, the narcissal often react to fix borders with charges - for example, continually asking "why" instead of respecting the wishes of the other person and leave them alone.

"The narcissas also manipulate situations and violate borders. Confidence becomes a question"Hershenson says. "Communication and trust are two of the most important features of aA healthy relationship, and with a narcissistic, it is almost impossible. "

Being a poor listener is a non-sketching quality alone, but when you combine it with a tendency to take control of the conversations, you expose a characteristic behavior of a narcissistic.

"You can talk to someone a fear of the health you've had, and the conversation derives towards [the narcissists] to come"Hershenson says. "It's hard to have a significant relationship with a narcissistic because conversations are always unilateral and about them."

Psychentral reports thatThe narcissistic actuallyuse shame to control othersas a way to puncture and avoid embarrassment.CornDeborah Serani, Psyd, Professor at Adelphi University, said the goal of a narcissistic is always to have a fluid offering of others to meet his needs."So, in order to do that, the narcissal exercise great control over their environment and their relationship," she says. "A big part of what is done is intellectual and calculated, planned and repeated."

Be sure, nobodylove fail or make mistakes. But the narcissal are particularly sensitive to these occurrences of ego-echymose. In fact, something remotely threatening their sense of self must be eliminated, according to Serani. "TheThe narcissist will use techniques such as denial, deflection and change of blame, "she says." Most narcissistic are highly qualified with double discussion and can find the right way to twist the blame of themselves - and on you. "

Some people argue that holding a rancor is an art, and for narcissism, it could very true."An individual with narcissism usually meets threats to his sense of self using silent treatment or rage," says Serani. "Because they can not and will not have errors, Gruspian services as a means of keeping their need for justification and accuracy."

SERANI said that damage to narcissism occur very young in life, where sense of self does not develop in a coherent way."Narcissique is aware of these gaps, so dreams, fantasies or aspirations of the best, the most, theperfectare deeply desired to remedy the pathological defect, "she says.

Superficial friendships are the norm for narcissistic. In fact, Serani says that these are the only kinds of friendships they can handle."Deep, caring and thoughtful relations are not well tolerated by a person with narcissism," she says. "It's because empathy and compassion are not features found in a person with narcissism."

Special treatment is the only treatment of treatment narcissiques believe that theyshould have.According to Serani, too much right creates a particularly pathological strain of narcissism, where you do not really consider the needs of others, but rather those who relate to yourself.

Narcissics oftenConsider themselves to be above or better In a way that those around them, including friends, colleagues and family. This sense of superiority, however, is a little more than a mask,Psychology today reports.LEON F. SELTZER, PhD, author of the blogEvolution on the self, says that the great sense of the importance of the autonomy of the narcissist is generally far beyond their beauty, brilliance or level of success.

Alack of empathy is one of the most identifiable qualities of a narcissistic, according to Seltzer."They are literally incapable of feeling the distress of another and acting with true compassion for them," he says.

A healthy competitive nature is one thing, but the narcissistic take things to the extreme."When the criticism and the pain of other people bring us to wonder if we are good enough, we are likely to overcome for these defects perceived by doing things that could help us feel better than others," declared Seltzer. "Since, deeply low, we wonder if we are really good as they."

"Need so much to protect their ego too qualified but fragile, [an ever vigilant defense system can be extraordinarily easy to trigger," Seltzer said. "In difficult circumstances, it is almost as if their survival itself depends on being just or justified, while choking (or humbly) admits an error - or, on that, pronouncing the words" I'm sorry " For a transgression - seems difficult to impossible for them. "

Narcissas and patients with neighboring personality disorder suffer from uncontrollable rage crises.

"The reason why feelings of anger and rage are so typically expressed by them is that, at the moment when they exterorate the smooth emotions of anxiety or much more painful shame that are just behind them," says Seltzer. "When they are about to feel or feel - some wounded or humiliations of their past, their consequent raging" transfers "these unwanted feelings to another."

Narcissiques are always looking for the validation and praise of others. As a wedding and family therapistMargalis FjelstadExplains: "They are constantly afraid to be ridiculed, rejected or bad. The narcissistic fear any real intimacy or vulnerability because they fear to see their imperfections and to judge or reject them. No reinsurance solution does not seem to make the difference, Because the narcissas hate deeply and reject their own shameful imperfections. "

In order to work in a team, you must be able to empathize with your teammates and to have in mind the interests of everyone. "Do not expect the narcissist to understand your feelings, give or abandon everything he wants for your profit," says Fjelstad. "It's useless."