60 things grandparents should never do

Stop offering unsolicited advice or run counter to your child's wishes for their own children.


Grandparents can be a rescue. They can strengthen discipline strategies, give wise advice to new parents who find themselves in their heads and provide child care on these rare and highly appreciated nights. However, even the most conscientiousGrandparents can also ruin From time to time thanks to divergent parenting strategies, counterparts and try to ruin their grandchildrentoo much a lot.

Rabbi shlomo slatkin, LCPC, Imago therapist and co-founder of theMarriage Restoration Projectsaid that even though "the work of a grandparent is to ruin grandchildren, their agenda can conflict with that of mom and dad and can lead to a confrontation." Grandparents can be magnets, but at the same time, must "respect the values ​​and standards of the parents and not exceed the borders or saper". With that in mind, if you are a grandparent, make sure to know these important things of grandmother and grandfathers should avoid in order to stay on the good side of each. And for more know of being a grandparent, here is40 things guaranteed to interfere with grandparents.

1
Request more grandchildren.

Grandparents in quarantine at home having video call with grandson and daughter
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All families do not have the means or the desire to haveSeveral childrenAnd for some people who are fighting with fertility problems - additional Grandkid Fiber Fields may be painful. Before saying something that could potentially film your relationship, remember how lucky you are to be a grandparent in the first place.

2
Give naming tips.

Young pregnant woman allowing her mother to touch her belly
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Even if you have a family tradition ofNaming Generation after generation, this does not mean that your own children will continue the trend. The more you suggest a name or, worse,insist On a name, the more you are sure to annoy not only your child, but also your child's spouse. At best, your suggestions will be ignored; At worst, felt. And for more things than grandparents should not say, make sure you know these21 things that grandparents should never tell their own children.

3
Post on your grandchildren online without the permission of their parents.

Grandmother and granddaughter are making selfie on a smart phone while cooking on kitchen.
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Of course, you may want everyone to see this adorable photo of you holding your grandchild, but their parents can have a different opinion. Some parents do not like to put photos or information about their young children online, so it is preferable to get permission from a parentPublish any small-child content On your Facebook page.

4
Replace your grandchildren to all those who want to hold them.

Shot of an unrecognizable little boy being lifted up by his dad while being seated on a sofa at home during the day
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While you may want to share the joy of holding your grandchildren with other people, it does not mean a stranger or a knowledge that baby parents do not know you should also occupy your grandchild. It is not everyone who comments cute that your grandchildren must touch them physically. And as the coronavirus pandemic reminded us, you never know who is sick with something they could pass on to this little vulnerable.

5
Or let other people monitor your grandchildren.

man and young boy playing with car on the floor, things grandparents should never do
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So you have grandchildren for the weekend, but you will also hope to see friends in town. And as the little ones are already asleep, it does not matter to leave your neighbor responsible and reliable to keep monitoring the monitor of your living room during your stay for an hour or two, right? Nope! If you are the one who has agreed to look at your grandchildren, you'd better assure you that you are the one who looked at them all the time they are under your care or that you may be returned permanently work.

6
Try to raise your grandchildren as you have made your own children.

A grandmother is reading with her grandson. They are having a restful afternoon as they bond.
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Each family is different, so thethings you have made as a parentDo not necessarily fly when you have grandchildren. As a grandparent, you are considered rules of the parents of your grandchildren and you would be well advised to take it into account if you want to continue spending time with your grandchildren. After all, even if you think you really nailed the parenting thing, your own child probably has a slightly different opinion of how their childhood has fallen. And for more insider information on being a grandparent, discover20 secrets that no one tells you to become a grandparant.

7
Be Laxiste on the safety of car seats.

kid in car seat things grandparents should never do
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The accidents of the car are a major cause of death and injury in children In the United States, according to the disease control and prevention centers (CDC). This means that the safety of car seats is not a matter of laughter. Even ifThe children were formerly allowed to sit on the front seat, or you played quickly and you let go with your own security elements or security restraints, and they survived, it does not mean that doing the same thing is acceptable with your grandchildren. You can not drive them longer if you do not respected the rules of their parents on the road.

8
Use dangerous sleep practices.

Sleeping newborn
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As babies, your children may have slept on their belly in cradles full of padded animals and blankets. But if your adult children now insist on the use of sleep practices recommended by theAmerican pediatric academy For their children, it's your job to hold them. Do not assume everything will be fine because you have anecdotal evidence to support your position: if your kids say that the baby goes on the back in an empty cradle, that's how they have to sleep, even at home.

9
Break the rules of beyond.

happy naughty boy jumping in bed in early morning. Hyperactive kids, casual lifestyles.
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Getting kids in bed is quite difficult because it's without having someone who breaks the hour's time rules and let them stay until all hours. If you want to stay on the good side of the children, it is important to make sure that their children adhere to their bed, whether or not you think of remaining standing late from time to time could not hurt.

10
Ignore the instructions on the discipline.

study finds omega-3s can help curb bad behavior in children.
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If the parents of your grandchildren have a specific policy regarding the discipline of their child, it is up to you to follow this procedure too. This means respecting their rules, no matter how they may seem silly.

11
Or reward bad behavior.

child having tantrum
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Yes, an additional presentation ofThe little Mermaid Could you calm down your grandson to calm down, but, in most cases, it would ignore this tantrum. And if you give the conversations of your grandchildren, you only make it more difficult than their parents deal with them via their own methods at home.

12
Give your opinion on the choice of a parent to work or stay at home.

adult parent and adult child arguing
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It is logical that some families to have a parent stay at home, while others cover the ever-growing cost of childcare by working both parents. Even if you have strong opinions about who is jugging what you would be very wise to keep them to yourself.

13
Emphasize on the outfits for the new baby.

Mother dressing a cute baby boy.
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Is it tiny marine sailor that you brought for your adorable new grandchild? Sure. Is it also more than a little rude to insist on new parents who dress their child? Absoutely. Of course, you want your gift worn by your new Grandkid for a special occasion. Unfortunately, however, it's not your place to make sure they have something you got for their first family photos.

14
Discuss "baby weight".

Woman weighing herself on a scale for potential weight loss or weight gain
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While new parents can be eager to lose weight that they have won during pregnancy, it's never fun to ensure that someone else starts a conversation about it. If you would not say to someone to lose weight previously, it is not appropriate to do so during the particularly vulnerable time after having given birth either.

15
Or comment on the weight of your grandchildren.

Asian baby boy eating blend food on a high chair
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Whether meager or on the heavy side, grandparents commenting on the weight of their grandchildren may support the anger of their children and grandchildren. It does not matter if you do not use dessert at home or do not encourage your grandchildren to take hikes instead of watching TV when they stay at home. But tell them that they won some, or saying that their thin fry seems sick, is not likely to bring them to eat healthier. Instead, this could be the catalyst for a life doubt - oreven disordered eating. In fact, a 2014 study published in theJournal of Teen Health suggests a strong link betweenGuardian food practices and unhealthy attitudes related to eating. So be sure to think about approaching these topics sensitively.

16
Force your grandchildren to clean their plates.

your bartender secretly eats your leftover food
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Entering the own plate club may have been essential for your own children, but that does not mean that your grandchildren must follow from the pursuit. In fact, research on the University Center of Ohio State for Clinical and Translational Science in 2014 suggests thatHow? 'Or' What a child is nourished - and not justWhat They are fed - is aMajor factor of childhood obesity.

17
Or provide a depthless amount of treats.

children with colorful lollipops outdoors on summer vacations
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Grandparents are notorious to indulge in their grandchildren, but that does not mean you should take every opportunity to load them with sugar. Not only does ice cream not daily not a practice recommended by the doctor, but it can also make it difficult to recover their children to a healthier diet when they come home.

18
Or criticize the food choices of their parents.

puree baby food
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You may not think that there is much of the difference between organic food and the cheaper things your kids have been raised, but that does not mean that you can simply ignore how parents of Your grandchildren want them to be nourished. Idizy because it may seem to you, if they say that puffs of organic cheese and fruit snacks are better than traditional packaged versions, it's your job to force.

19
Give unsolicited advice on feeding practices.

Young mom nurses her newborn baby while in the child's nursery.
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There is enough a rage debate on the Internet and in public spaces on the relative benefits of breastfeeding relative to the food formula, so it is not necessary to add it yourself yourself . There are countless factors behind why someone could choose to do one or the other, including medical problems, work schedules and personal preferences, so inserting your own opinion in the conversation that adding to the frustration of a parent.

20
Ignore health requirements.

washing hands
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It does not matter how you might think about the request of a parent ofwash your hands a More time before keeping their baby is, it's their prerogative to ask you - and it'sabove all true at the age of coronavirus. If you choose not to comply, do not be surprised when they do not leave you around their precious little one.

21
Or use ladies remedies for medical problems.

Baby playing outside
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If your grandchildren's parents tell you to give them a frozen toilet glove or a baby pain medication to relieve their dentition problems, it is important to join these rules. If they come back and find their child crying like yourub the whiskey on their gumsYou can not access Babysit again.

22
Insist to hold a crying baby.

difficult parenting - dad trying to comfort shouting crying child, tired and exhausted father
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If your grandson begins to cry for their parents, do not insist to keep them. You may think that you are a whisper baby, but this trick that has always worked to prevent your own offspring from crying when they were not unique - and keeping a child up from their main sources of comfort will probably only The problem worse. .

23
Compare your grandchildren to their parents.

forming an alliance with their mom helps kids emotional growth
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Each family is different and invitingComparisons between your children and their childrenis required to make someone feel less worthy. While you can see your grandchildren as perfect angels compared to their parents, juxtapose both will not go well.

24
Repeat your own parental errors.

father and teenager arguing
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Just because you have done something in a way when your children grow up do not mean that you should continue to repeat these same choices with your grandchildren, especially if you found it had unfavorable results. Your children and grandchildren are different people and simply repeat yourselfYour own parental models This does not represent how times have changed or who are your grandchildren as individuals.

25
Criticize your children in front of your grandchildren.

mother in law with mama's boy son
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You may not think that your kids are born their children, but that does not mean that everything is fine to tell your grand little ones. It is important for children to see their role models as members of the same team - and at the very least you should remember that practically everything you say about the parents of a child will meet again. Repeated to mom or dad.

26
Bad mouth of other family members.

Grandparents playing with their granddaughter
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You may not like your child's mother-in-law, but speaks sick of your other grandmother in front of your grandchildren may not go well with their parents. Your kids can stop around their children's unattended children if they do not trust you not to say inappropriate things.

27
Ignore the training instructions of the pot.

A potty training toddler sitting on a comode
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The pot formation can be a particularly difficult period, but it is important to follow the rules at a t, for fear of giving you your grandchild. Yes, it may be more work for you, but it will certainly be easier in the long run when you do not face six years in layers.

28
Impose your traditions.

Pair of white baby booties on pink background with lace christening dress and candle
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Of course, everyone in your family may have had a baptism or breakage, but that does not mean that your children will necessarily pursue this tradition. And certainly, do not sneak to have none of these rituals realized without the consent of their parents: a small holy water may seem not to have a big problem for you, but it could be the last activity your children allow you to do With your grandchildren.

29
Or choose fights on the holidays.

Grandma giving a gift at Christmas
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Who does not want theseNorman Rockwell-Style Christmas with their children and grandchildren? Unfortunately, it might not always be possible. If you are not the only set of grandparents, your grandchildren may have to divide their time between the houses during the holidays. Do you remember how difficult it's, right? This is definitely worth it to be discussed.

30
Push educational choices.

back to school. Cute asian child girl with backpack running and going to school with fun
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Maybe you thinkPublic school provides a better foundation For children and private. Maybe you can not imagine your grandchildren educated outside a Montessori framework. Perhaps you think that religious instruction is an important part of the school day. Regardless of what you want for your grandchildren, remember that he is up to his parents to decide where they should be educated - and your preference may not match their budget or priority.

31
Or force some extracurricular activities.

Photo of children practicing ballet in a dance studio
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Your children may have liked to play the violin, take Taekwondo or make ballet, but that does not mean that your grandchildren have the same tastes. Even if you offer Shell money for lessons, you areOf course will enrich their lives, do not expect yourGrandkids to participate in activities Just because you want it. With long school days and a homework mountain to cross, the odds are already numerous on their plates already.

32
Promises more than you can deliver.

grandfather holding grandchild while grandmother looks on, things grandparents should never do
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Every grandparent wants to give their little grandchies the world. But let's promise things that you can not deliver will only leave them disappointed at the end. Keeping your expectations founded in reality will serve you at the same time: they will not be sad when you can not take them to Disney World every year, and you will not burn your pension fund to get all the desire of their hearts .

33
Offer "life lessons" without the permission of their parents.

Black grandpa and grandson play in grass in yard, dangers lurking in backyard
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There are many greater life lessons that you may want to share with your grandchildren, but to do so without the permission of their parents is likely to land you in hot water. As much a mud that it may seem explaining death or reproduction to your grandchildren, if their parents do not think it's the right time, you have to stop.

34
Give haircuts.

Close up portrait of toddler child getting his first haircut
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Haircuts - especially the first haircuts - are a big deal for many parents, which gives an impromptu buzz cut to your grand-party probably will not fly. And considering that haircuts have a lot of cultural importance for some families, getting your little fillet their first haircut without permission could result in serious disorders with your own children.

35
Take your grandchildren for major experiences without discussing it first.

grandparent teaching his granddaughter how to ride a bike outside
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Whether it's their first time to eat ice cream or attempt to cycle, it's important for grandparents to arisebefore Taking their grandchildren for a major life experience. Just as you could have been sad to miss the first stages of your child, you never know what milestones are a big problem for parents of children until you ask for it.

36
Or invite you to family outings.

things divorced people know
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Although many grandparents are undeniably important members of their families, it is important to recognize that it does not mean they are automatically invited to all that their grandson does. Sometimes a new family unit may want to make memories of their own-and agree, even if it pulls a little early.

37
Provide an unlimited screen time.

A 3-5 years old girl toddler sitting at the computer desk watching cartoon shows on the monitor at home. Children educational and development concept.
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The debate onHow long screen time is too Will probably be raged until the screens no longer exist. However, one thing is clear: if the parents of your grandchildren say that there is a fixed amount allowed, you should follow the letter of the law.

38
Give your two hundred on their family structure.

Millennial mother sitting in an armchair holding her three month old baby son, her mother kneeling beside them
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Families are of all shapes and sizes and provide your contributions on how you think the family of your grandchildren should look, will never give positive results. It can take a minute for you to put in place the fact that your grandchildren will not be high exactly in the same way as you have raised their parents, but it's important to show that you like and support their families from all way.

39
Scare your grandchildren with stories of old women.

little boy covering face with hands, parenting myths
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You may think that it's funny to tell your grand little ones that their eyes would be stuck if they will roll them up, or joke on monsters under the bed, but you never know which of these high stories will become legitimate fears for your grandchildren - etc. Parents will face the future. If you want to keep things amicably with the parents of your grandchildren, try to avoid these scary stories, even if they seem relatively survean for you.

40
Gift of new pets.

Baby and dog
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Pets can be wonderful companions, but they are also an expensive and serious long-term commitment. If you want to have apet your grandchildren will loveBy getting one, they can come visit home-do not only belong to a retriever gold puppy with a red bow on his neck at their birthday party.

41
Allow your grandchildren to wear things that their parents would not allow.

Charming girl with red lipstick wearing adult dress with hat and accessories looking at camera
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As difficult as it may seem, if the parents of your grandfête have a strict rule against the piercings and insist that the hats are not worn inside, it is important that you have shot these preferences. If you do not do it, it could be a major violation of their trust.

42
Choose favorites.

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Just because you may prefer that one of your grandchildren to others does not mean you shouldalready do this known. Playing favorites will only make your grandchildren feeling you and will make your own children less than eager to look at you their children.

43
Ask your grandch to reveal secrets about their parents.

grandparent child
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You may want the scoop inside what's really going on in your home of your granddaughter, the reason this creditor called why one of the adults slept on the sofa last night. But the small players of the information will rarely end. Remember that children love to repeat things, so all you ask your grandfast party will definitely make it permanently.

44
Or reveal too much about the past of their parents.

grandfather and granchild
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You probably have tons of stories about the parents of your grandchildren you would like to share. That said, telling your grandmothers embarrassing moments in the past of their parents will only lead to resentment between you and their parents, especially when your grandchildren start getting up what you told them as a way to make their path.

45
Present your own bad habits in front of your grandchildren.

Two glasses of red wine on table with senior couple relaxing in background on sofa with smartphones in their hands. (Two glasses of red wine on table with senior couple relaxing in background on sofa with smartphones in their hands., ASCII, 116 compon
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Whether you are smoking, drinking, cursing or playing it quickly and let go with the laws of the seatbelt, simply know that these bad habits you are committing now will be noticed by your grandchildren. And when their parents see their own children emulating these behaviors, do not be surprised when your child care privileges are revoked.

46
Allow your little ones to do something illegal.

middle-aged woman drinking beer with teens, things grandparents should never do
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Of course, let your big-city guide while you drive around an empty parking or giving them a sip of wine at dinner when their parents are not around may not seem like a big problem, but it could at their main Caregiver. After all, when your 16-year-old big-party tells mom or dad that they are always "always allowed to drink" at home, get ready for serious consequences (no matter how many parents have beggedyouFor wine at 16 years old).

47
Try to act as a carrier parent.

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As special as your obligation is with your grandchildren, it is important to remind you that you are not their parent. Although it can be difficult, taking a back-back to your own children when it comes to writing the rules on how your grandchildren live and behave everyone will have the happier in the long run.

48
Lay on guilty trips.

older woman holding grandchild things grandparents should never do
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It is understandable that you are completely in love with your grandchildren. That said, if you are not immediately asked to be a constant device in your little-child's life, especially in the first months of it, it does not mean it's time to start asking on The "you never know how many years I have left" lines. TheFirst months of a baby's life Are a struggle for the small and the parents, and guilt-stumbling the new family of your lack of inclusion will only make you personalized non grata in their lives.

49
Strengthen gender stereotypes.

boy playing with doll things grandparents should never do
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While gender roles have been clearly defined when you grow up - and they may have had consequences to violate these standards at the time - it does not mean that you should force these alive beliefs on your grandchildren .

If your small male-filk likes to play with dolls, let it play with dolls. Do not tell your granddaughter that she should be the nurse instead of the doctor when she plays in the hospital. And do not make a lot of a kid bearing rose or blue, no matter their sex. They are just colors, after all.

50
Expect your children to spend the same thing as you did.

Woman depositing money at the bank
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You may have been able to take your children on vacation every year and send them to the expensive sleep camp every summer, but you should not expect their parents to do the same. All families do not have this financial privilege and expecting your grandchildren will live according to your standards will only put excessive pressure on them and their parents.

51
Wait for a physical affection.

girl hugging grandfather things grandparents should never do
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Getting cuddling and hugs from your grandchildren can be a wonderful feeling, but that does not mean you should ever insist on receiving physical condition. If your grandchildren do not want cuddling, it can be disappointing, but forcing them to give you one in any event teaches them the wrong lesson on body autonomy.

52
To shower your grandchildren with toys.

children with tons of toys
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Some gifts for birthdays or holidays is very good, but your grandchildren should not be getting new toys every time they come to your home. Aside from the fact that you configure unrealistic expectations for your grandchildren at a young age, also obstruct their home.

53
Or give them noisy toys.

two kids sitting and playing video games by the couch
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This battery kit, video game, or horn Vuvuzela may seem fun gifts for you, but it's probably because you will not be living near the person playing with them. If in doubt, sin by excess of silence.

54
Ignore morals.

young girl saying thanks things grandparents should never do
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Mom and dad are very picky for politeness? If you look at your grandchildren, it's important for you to make sure they aresaying, "Please" and "Thank you" Just as often as their parents await them at home.

55
Use your grandchildren for tasks.

Three kids washing up dishes in kitchen. The boys and a girl are working together to help their parents.
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If your grandchildren stay at home for a long period of time and their parents give OK, you may be able to ask your grandchildren to do some tasks. But secretly do your grandkid wash the dishes or dust of your shelves every time they come for a visit can alienate your two grandchildren and your children, especially if you have not asked their permission.

56
Wash the grandchildren of clothes or toys without asking their parents.

Baby clothes hanging on rope
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Perhaps your grandchild spilled something on themselves or maybe you think their old blanket could use a new clean. Anyway, without their prior permission of parents, you should not throw one of your grandchildren's stuff in your washing machine. Your children can have specific washing practices to avoid ruining or reducing their child things and if you spoil something after not asking them first, you could face their anger.

57
Invite customers on approved non-parents when you look at your grandchildren.

The senior grandmother is so excited about the visit that she keeps checking the front door.
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You have the right to invite any more people to your home, but avoid doing it when you look at your grandchildren. If it's someone that parents do not know or have not approved to be around their children before, they can not be so eager to allow their children back in your home without supervision.

58
Clean the house before the return of the hospital family.

laundry basket
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Get home to a clean house after having a new baby is undeniably beautiful, if you have asked personally. However, knowing that your mother-in-law folded your lace underwear, is not.

59
Arrive at the hospital without being invited.

A close-up of tiny baby feet
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Birth is a miraculous thing, but for many people, it is also one and particularly private can involve some intense recovery. Of course, you want to be there for the birth of your grandchild, but it is imperative that you show that in the hospital if requested.

60
Wait for your grandchildren to contact.

Older woman on smartphone things grandparents should never do
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You can get handwritten letters, weekly phone calls and regular FaceTime requests from your grandchildren, but do not expect them to do all the work on this forehead. If you want to keep in touch with your grandchildren, it is up to you, at least to some extent. So, before starting to lament on the little one you hear from them, try to reach instead.


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