20 warning signs that you encounter a midlife crisis
Not all of us going out and buy a new convertible car.
There is this old shot around buying a new sports car during a mid-race crisis. Unfortunately (or maybe it's for the best), we do not have all the money to blow on a brilliant new convertible - but many of us tend to hinder the same problems. A study published in theInternational Journal for Behavioral Development Even found that between 40 and 49% of men and 59% of women reported a "episode of crisis". The most common catalysts forIncluded crises divorce, breaks, debt and other financial difficulties - which is one of the biggest signs you encounter a crisis of mid-life - but not the only ones.
The good thing about the midday crisis is that you are both old enough to look at your adult years with a wiser and fairly young perspective to make changes. As difficult as it may interfere with big questions about who you have been and you want to be, a mid-life crisis is a period of growth and reflection. If you are recadried as such, it could be one of your most important experiences to date. And if you wonder if you are in the thesis of one or not, here are the revealing signs you encounter a midday crisis.
You re-evaluate your priorities
It's easy to pass life on "autopilot", to work to make money without really thinking about what we do and why, saysCoach of accredited lifeNick hatter. During a mid-life crisis, you could suddenly start asking me if your life resembles the way you want. "Many of my clients do not know what their essential priorities are in life," he says. "They never stopped taking a step back and ask: What is the most important for me in life and that my life is compatible with these priorities?" Maybe your family is your priority, but your work requires long hours; During a mid-life crisis, you suddenly start asking if you have made the right choices.
Your career feels without meaning
Your day of work is likely to cause you the greatest anxiety when you wonder if you spend your days significantly. "Most of us will devote one-third of our lives to awakening, if not more, work," says Hattter. And a fair-pay-country-the-bill position can suddenly feel lost time when you spend a mid-life crisis.
You feel stuck in your work
It's one thing to realize that you are unfortunate of your career, but it's another thing to make a change - and it can become more difficult as you get. "Many people may feel like they're blocked in their work because they may feel less hirabe," saysSimone Lambert, PhD, President of theAmerican Council Association. If you have worked in the same company for years, other operators can not have the salary you are looking for, otherwise you might feel like you hide about the skills you need for the switch careers. Lambert recommends talking through your goals with a professional advisor; A Pro can guide you to a career that is a good fit or help you find a volunteer work that gives you one meaning outside your 9 to 5.
Your body changes
"There is a sense of loss that has just been of average age and no longer have a sense of young people," says Lambert. Not only you seeHair and finer linesBut you could see that your body can not handle the same tasks it used. It is difficult to realize that you can no longer participate in group sports or climb the flights of stairs without stopping for the breath, which are all signs of your own mortality. Consider this could be one of the signs you encounter a mid-time crisis.
You manage a new diagnosis of health
Health problems can exceed a painful back or loss of energy. The years of 40 to 60 years are a common moment for developing new conditions, such as arterial hypertension or arthritis. Treating with these health problems is quite difficult, but you may also see that the associated medicines are playing with your mental health, "says Lambert. Pay attention to your body when dealing with illness and new requirements, and tell your doctor if you have noticed a disturbing physical or psychological symptoms.
Someone close to you is deceased
To hang out a parent or loved one can be a waking call when you realize that death is an inevitable part of life. "He wakes up the fact that you are mortal; your lifewillend, "says Chatter. And when the end seems closer, you have to ask yourself if you spend your limited time significantly. The death of a parent can also say that you are supposed to be the oldest, wiser one in Your family, add Lambert. With anyone above you to offer tips, you could start feeling lost.
You wonder what happens after death
Not only does death make you think more about life, but it can also challenge you what's going onafterLife, says Chatter. "Many people want to brush this subject aside," he says. Nobody can say with certainty what happens when we die, but Hatter recommends specifying in the subject with a loved one or a counselor. You can never have a definitive answer, but you can develop beliefs that prevent you from fearing what awaits you.
You take care of your parents and children
Looking at a parent colander, is painful, but taking care of parents while they are alive can be difficult, says Lambert too. Being responsible for your children and your parents can force you to look at your life while also looking at the fragility of your future.
Your children left home
So many headaches that your children were like teenagers, left with an empty nest can make you feel, good, empty. "FigureThat looks like [Life] without children In the house can cause tensions, "says Lambert. You might feel like the loss of what to do with all your new free time and there has been a need to change your relationship if you and your partner are suddenly face-to-face. Following.
You have accomplished something you worked for ages
Sometimes a crisis of mid-life is not triggered by a negative event, but by something you would think you feel good. Finishing a huge project at work, for example, can let you feel a loss during your next step. "It's something that reminds us" Where are you going with your life? "Said Hatter.
Your relationships have been tense
If you have felt angst on your own decisions, there is a good chance that these frustrations have reversed in your personal life. Thisdistress and despair Can you catch or distant from those you like the most. Once you have worked in your mid-life crisis, you will probably see an improvement in your relationships too, says Hattter. "If you feel more joy, you are more fun to be around," he says. "It can affect relationships and make you more patient, more kind, more compassionate."
You feel depressed
The fall of a mid-life crisis can turn intobreathtaking depressionAnd you risk losing your interest in your favorite activities or feeling stirred or guilty. And this can have serious consequences - suicide rates are highest in adults aged 45 to 54, depending on theUS Foundation for Suicide Prevention. "What is really important does not ignore signs," Lambert says. "People are so busy in their lives and think," I can do better tomorrow "or think" If I had a new car or a new relationship, all my problems will leave. "But these big changes can simply aggravate your mental health. To haveHelp of a health professional If you have shown signs of depression and contact a crisis hotline if you encounter suicidal thoughts.
You slept more
Depression is not only mood - this can also involve physical changes, including sleep habits. If a mid-life crisis is linked to depression, you could find yourself more sleeping, with a unhealthy degree, "says Hatter.
You feel angry
While some people feel depression or sadness during a mid-life crisis, others are angry, written Hatter. You could start tightening life anomalipulation when you look back in your own decisions.
You are attracted to self-destructive behavior
When life feels meaningless, you could stop worrying about whether you are making good decisions. You could spend all day watching Netflix or start eating more junk food - or worse, turn to dependency. "Something goes because nothing counts," says Chatter.
Money emphasizes you
Most adults deal with a certain degree of stress of money, but especially as you are closer to retirement, you are probably thinking more and more about your financial future, says Lambert. Hope you are already filling out your pension fund, but during your meenti-age years, you are probably assisted the importance of saving the first hand of your parents or loved ones. "They could see their aging parents go through difficult decisions about assisted life or difficult choices on long-term medical care," says Lambert. "Or they could try to attempt financially to support their parents." With these deep questions about the profile of your work, you are confronted with the reality of hope that the money you have done will be enough.
You obsendrate on deep questions
The problem with big questions like "What is the meaning of life? Is it impossible to be sure that you answer it properly. Obnubiller on these heavy questions is like throwing a bouncing ball against the wall, "said Hatter; They will just come back to the right for you. The key is to have someone else help you tackle them, whether it's a family member or a life coach, he says.
So far, you have made decisions based on the expectations of others
Part of the reason you could have made decisions in the past that you regret now could be that you have done what others are waiting for you, rather than follow your own path, "said Hatter. It can be difficult to realize that you have not beentake your own decisionsBut he also frees from starting choices around making your own goals and passions. "I think it's an important step in the process of waking up, self, and the realization of your true identity instead of the identity you accepted from others more and more," said Hatter.
the trauma of the past are on your mind
"It is important to recognize that change of behavior is less about age and over what has happened to a person in their lives," says Lambert. If you are poorly managed with bad experiences in your past, they could come back to your mind when you are dealing with a quarantine crisis. Now it's time to ask for help, instead of simply brushing thoughts and feelings under the carpet.
You feel isolated
During a quarantine crisis, you might feel like you are the only grappling with theseIdentity and regret issues, Which makes them difficult to admit to your family and friends. "There is a stigma around these conversations," Lambert said. But rest assured, you are not-opening on what is on your mind can help you find answers and realization.