17 ways that you destroy your self-confidence and you do not know it
Let yourself be built instead of shooting down.
The trick to accomplish everything is actuallythought you can do it. In other words,confidence It's the key. Before you can start on a path ofPositive thought, you have to cut all thenegative thought. It's easier to say than to do, however, when many trusted killers we inflict on ourselves are things we do not even realize that we do.
But as for any behavior, these actions that slowly kill your mind can be disapproved. The first step, of course, recognizes them. So, without any other teenage, consult these confidence certainty behaviors that afflicted too much of us. And remember, when the situation becomes difficult, youcanand youwill.
1 Excuse apologies
"A way to see people unconsciously destroying their trust is to use the word" sorry, "saysCarley Schweet, aself-coach and author ofBorders with soul. "When someone is constantly apologizing, they immediately tell their minds that they have a sorry reason, even if there is none," she explains. Over time, it can lead you to feeling indebted to those around you. It's a serious blow to your confidence to feel constantly as if you come to come.
2 Your way of dressing
"The most under confidence recognized destroyed is the way we dress," saysstyle instructor Shana Berkeley. We tend to judge others based on how they come together. Depending on the look of someone, they can be perceived as interesting and intelligent, or negligent, or negligible and unwarty. And it is a judgment that we place on ourselves. "Wear clothes too big, very dark, faded or generally casually disinfined to others that you are unable to succeed in a task of responsibility," says Berkeley.
3 Compliment others
"Self-sabotage women and destroy their self-confidence over too complementary," saysLucie B. Lindner, a physical form professional and the author ofBig blues. Continuing on the positive features of someone else, we begin to consider us subconsciously to consider us negatively by comparison. "Compliment once and continues to move," she suggests. "In living on what others have, we bring ourselves."
4 Say "yes" to everything
Caleb, a health and well-being expert toMaple holistic In New Jersey, says that saying "yes" to everyone stems from a desire to feel needed. By "yes", people to death, you end up giving the wishes of others as often, which can lead to a binding of your own self-confidence to the approval of others. Instead, "put your foot and bring important boundaries to maintain healthy independence", suggests Ranger.
5 Obsession with minor defects
"People do not destroy their own confidence because of a thoughtful model called" projector effect ", saysITAMAR SHTZ, a doctoral candidate at Cambridge University and founder ofEffective. The "Spotlight" effect makes you amifying the degree of minorfaults in your appearance can be noticed or judged by others. "For example, if you feel self-conscious because you think you've a bad hair day, it is very likely that the projector effect forces you to overestimate significantly how perceptible and how many people will take care of that, "he explains.
6 Ignore your feelings
"People tend to ignore their feelings or judge their feelings, instead of witnessing what their feelings tell them," saysMargaret Paul, PhD, co-creator ofInterior collage. "If people treated a real child in this way, the child would be rejected and abandoned, which leads to a lack of self-confidence." Well, the same goes for adults, she explains.
7 Let others make your decisions
Confidence is constructed by expressing its desires honestly and autonomously, according toSamantha Morrison, a well-being expert toWellness Glacier At New York. "One of the most common ways of people unconsciously destroying their trust is to let others dictate their lives," she says. "It's almost impossible to build trust if you let others make decisions for you."
8 Using "always" and "never"
Self-help expertKaren Salmansohn, author ofThink aboutandHappy moment, says a common unconscious-destroying confidence that she sees is "saying that the words" always "and / or" never "." Use such a permanent survey language tends to let you feel like you do not have the ability tomake changesWhen it is rarely the case. "Every time you say" always "and" never, you are destroying your trust and put yourself in place for despair, "she says. Because of their apparently inextricable nature, these words cause a large amount of depression and anxiety, Salmansohn warns.
9 The maintenance of toxic friendships
"We are really we spend time with," saysMAARIANA VIKSE, Founder of theFill. "If we are surrounded by people who are lazy, complain, and / or have a victim mentality, then we become. She recommends the identification of people in your life who have a positive influence on you and try maximizing your time spent around them.
10 Criticizing your inner child
"Many people say about things to do that they would never say to a real child, but that's the way they treat their" inner child, "says Paul. This is in the form of autoreproaches like: "I'm not good enough", "I am a loser" or "I am a moron". Talking constantly from you this way will have the same effect as if someone else said these things to you, which can take a serious blow to your self-confidence.
11 Goodimize
"People tend to minimize their positive attributes and achievements," says Expert self-helpNina Dafe, founder ofThe property above Rubies Collection. As we learned with the projector effect, we tend to focus on the wrong place. "When this way of thinking becomes a habit, it leads to a toxic state of mind, as well as toxic behaviors," says Dafe.
12 Compare yourself to others
"People who compare to someone they consider it better than they are decreasing their trust," saysEllen Palmer, aholistic health coach And creator of the ideal life method. We tend to tell us that, compared to someone else, we are qualified to do our job or lack the ability to be a good parent, partner, friend, or listener. But by doing so, Palmer said, you are likely to feel like it is not even worth trying to live your expectations, thus adopting a self-directive prophecy.
13 Talking about perceived weaknesses
"The more we talk about our negative traits perceived, the more we believe them," saysHans Schumann, a life coach and founder ofHans Schumann Coaching. Not only that, but focusing on these defects leads "our subconscious mind to look for evidence that this belief is true and creating new experiences to support it," he says. At some point, these perceptions turn into a self-created reality.
14 Vocabulary self-doubt
"The words we use when we talk about our goals are so important," Schumann said. "Words like" I'm going to try "or" I hope "that the failure already envisaged and make it more likely that we will fail," he explains. Instead, stick to your own self-certainties and you say that youcan, Putting you in place for success.
15 yourself neglect
"One of the main ways that people can harm their own trust does not engage in self-care," says Backe. "In the absence ofSee you at the calendar doctor, The cancellation of a workout at the gym or eating sending messages that were being subconscious to a person they are not worth the time, the money and energy needed to lead a healthy life " He said.
16 accept defeat
"Imagined as I'm beaten, '" Just my luck ", or" I knew it was going to pick me up "are all damaging for one of self-confidence," saidKIMBERLY FRIEDMUTTER, author ofSubconscious power: user your inner mind to create life you have always wanted. What she calls "words of defeat", which can bring you to think the world can enjoy you, and you have no control over your own destiny.The elimination of the defeatish language is a good way to start reformatting your thoughts.
17 Stuck in the past
If you are always "referring to the negative things that have been said and done in the past, especially during childhood," you slowly destroy your self-confidence, "said Sasha Carrion , a hypnotherapist and life coach. "Internalizing this kind of negative things, we tend to make some of our lives," explains. However, what we should do is learn to go beyond or Forget Memory. And now that you are ready to build your back trusted, be sure to check these 70 genius tips to enhance your confidence.
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