Good Lifestyle

Of course, we all have ourbad days- those when we wake up in terrible mood, do you smother to foreigners and smoke about how bad traffic is. And although there is nothing wrong with the day of "off" occasional, if this kind ofnegative behavior Makes up several times for weeks or months in the end, there is a good chance that it is not just a bad mood - you are probably anegative.

The thing is that negative people often have trouble recognizing this behavior in themselves. We therefore brought a help by bringing together 23 subtle signs that mean that you are a negative person, according to counselors, psychologists and more well-being experts. If you are guilty of some of these behaviors, it's time to start seeing the right side of things.

A good sign that you are too negative is that every comment you hear is mentally directed by a filter in which you are wondering: "What does it say about me?"

Erin Waten, ofErin Wathen Wellness, give this example: "The trainee of the summer college makes an innocent comment on the morning shuttle, being a nightmare this morning. You stop, because in your mind, you participated in the city longer than what They were alive and they were alive. Do not know what it is to work really, or what it looks like to have time lost due to traffic. "

Wathen says that "emphasizes how your mind keeps the score of the slight perceived, even against the weather or the local transit authority".

If you skip on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat or Instagram and see the good times that others have rising from your blood temperature, you might be a little too negative. Wathen explains thatSocial media can insist on a negative person Who sees things in the extremes, assuming others benefit from life more than they are.

"Nobody has a perfect life of Instagram history, so when we believe that the parts that make us vision of our own lives, friends and family like non-cool, fun or quite chic, we diminish what is before us" , says Waten. "Why can not others do not have the holidays in the south of France? This is not a reflection on you unless you let him become one. We have no idea what happened before or after taking the photo or what's really going on in other people lives, then stop obeying. This simply emphasizes our own dissatisfaction with our current life. "

We all have this glow of energy during the beginning of a project or the hobby, but if you are a negative person, you probably have a tendency to let things go when the situation becomes difficult, or when something requires Simply a more sustained effort than you think you are capable of. Negative thinking can lead to you to focus on the unpleasant aspects of a long-term project, rather than satisfying your satisfaction when you complement it successfully.

"Most people forget that success is a marathon, not a sprint," saysDarlene Corbett, author ofStop depriving the world of you: a guide to relax."Real success should not be easy. Many people fail because they lack tenacity. "

Of course, there are things we can not do at age 65 we could do at 25 years (like crushing a pong beer game, for example). But if the phrase "I'm too old for that" frequently appears in your vocabulary, you probably need to check your negativity.

"So many people abandon their fear opportunities, they therefore use excuses such as these," says Corbett. "Most people want to live for a very long time to live, but they must accept the idea that the goal or meaning is equivalent. Otherwise, they will fade."

More broadly, Corbett points out that negative people tend to limit their options to all they have done in the past, rather than open their minds to the range of possibilities at their disposal.

"This idea that behavior and personality are static again is a false story," she says. "It's a loose perspective. Some things are easier for others depending on the type of personality. So, it can take more effort. With that, everyone is able to change because it's all around We, inside and out. "

A great indicator of how you are negative, this is how you treat with something positive. So, if you get a promotion at work, let's say, and your mind immediately goes to how extra work could be overwhelming or if you discover that a friend visit and instantly start worrying that you may not be able to To be not entertaining them, it's not a good sign.

"When we live with good things, we can become worried about losing them or temporary," saysJulie Williamson, LPC, therapist and founder ofCOUNSEELLING LIFE Abundant St. Louis, LLC. "As a result, we are looking for what's wrong or everything is fine about these things so that we do not risk being disappointed or dropped if or when they go away. This is harmful because we do not take advantage of Never fully good things we have in the moments we have, which strengthens our negative worldview. "

Each couple has their disagreements on big and small problems. But if you find that you and your partner are locking horns daily, and often you areInitiate disagreements, you could have a negativity problem.

A good rule of relational psychologistJohn Gottman, who found that marriages last when thePositive interactions to negative In a relationship between an average of about 5 to 1. When the balance moves so that you were talking more often than positive things, it is a recipe for misery and perhaps even divorce.

Negative people are used to seeing the world in everything or nothing. When a friend can not be brown, you say they "always flakes". When a job interview does not lead to an offer, you will "never do good interviews."

"When we see the world or our circumstances in terms of absolute, which does not leave much room for exceptions," says Williamson. "When exceptions occur, we have to find a way to explain them to our absolutist world vision, otherwise we can become confused and anxious."

Who does not know a little nervous about the opportunities that come with efforts or try something new? But if you are not even willing to try, then it's something to fear.

"Refusal to try something different to bring a positive change in our lives is usually rooted in fear," says Williamson. "However, if we never try anything new, we remain stuck in our same old diagrams. Even if we try something new and we fail, we can at least applaud ourselves to try and look for lessons to Pull experiences. "

No work is perfect, of course. There will always be something about your 9 to 5 who does not excite you exactly. But if you find that at the end of the day, more on your work - your boss, your colleagues, your daily responsibilities, you irritated that you have excited what you were doing, you could have a problem.

"An employee could constantly complain because they were assigned to a change they hate," saysEmily Mendez, MS, on how a negative person behaves. "Another example complains continually because you have been transmitted for a promotion."

Mendez also emphasizes that negative people tend to "complain because their friends do not include them often". If you find that you get controls on your friends or you feel jealous that they do things without you, instead of blaming them, you'd better ask for these two questions: do you exaggerate things in your spirit? And why do you need others to give you a sense of you, anyway?

It's one thing to have a routine you like; This is another to be as firmly blocked as you are uncomfortable to leave your daily script. Take a detour during your morning trip, for example, says the coach of lifeJacquelineSting.

"This detour has an amazing new business opportunities for you to find a new coffee shop or reserve that you did not know is nearby," she says. "Getting angry means that you will miss these opportunities. On the contrary, choose to stay flexible, positive and open in these unknown situations. This opens your experience of life."

We all experienced an angry boss or does something toaggravate another person, whether it's a spouse or a stranger on the street. Sometimes the anger of others is justified and sometimes it's just that they are looking for someone to blame for a rotten day. Whatever the case, a person who is used to thinking negatively will take this anger personally.

"Nobody's anger never concerns you, even if it includes you," says Pirtle. "Their anger is theirs, they feel in the process of living their journey. So let themto beDuring their trip without judging or taking a game, and focus on your feelings, because that's where your power poses. »

If a little moment of forgetting or monitoring at work tends to balloon in your mind in a major visor or just another addition to your failure model, you could be a little too negative.

April Selfert, PhD, give the example to forget your office keys at home. "There are probably benign explanations for the reason you were forgetful, but if you head to the negative, you might be more likely to think:" I'm so stupid! I can not believe I have yet forgotten my keys! I'm always doing that! '"she says.

Negative people are likely to consider a small social offense as a major problem. For example, if a friend does not appear at a meeting or return your phone call, in your mind, they hate you or no longer want to go out again.

"You might think, 'ugh, she always blows people!" Or "I'm sure she's just angry because I could not meet her for lunch last week," says Selfert. "In reality, the behavior of this friend is ambiguous and you do not really know what caused it. Our brain is naturally transformed to the negative to protect us from future threats, even when there is no threat real. "

Who being said, if Christmas and the New Year come to go without a singleInvite party festivalYou can legitimately have work to do on your social skills. But it has more to go around your own negative perspectives than blaming your friends to lose interest in spending time with you.

"Most people are too polite to confront you with negativity, but people will just stop inviting you to go out or attend parties," saysDavid Bennett, expert in relation and co-owner ofDouble confidence dating. "If you notice that you always seem to get out of things, that's perhaps because the last time you went to a partyYou complained all the time. "

Well, that's what you're telling you at least. In reality, it is more likely that your negative thought creates obstacles in your social interactions, which allows you to open you and to engage knowledge that you have just met at a party or even colleagues you have known since from years of alack of confidenceOr a serious seriousness that makes it difficult to enjoy a light and non-substance ban.

Speaking of things that are light and without substance, dance is a surprisingly good barometer of your state of mind. If you are at the wedding or another type of gathering with music and a feeling of fear resumes while you look at the dance floor, you could have a negativity problem. It's not just positive people are good dancers - they could be worse dancers than yourself, they do not care. They know how to get out there and dance is just a fun and frivolous time. A person who reflects negatively can only focus on the crazy they will look at, when, frankly, no one attracts them anyway.

It's a thing to get into a TIFF here or there, but if youalways find yourselffight or argue With someone, it's time to look at yourself and your attitude. "The most chronically negative people I know are constantly in disputes with people and organizations in their communities and social media," Bennett said. "They have so many quarrels that they can not keep them straight. Some of us have no one we take, then if you come from hostility of half of your social media followers and all your neighbors You consider you the neighbor "troubling" you may be at fault. "

If that makes thecase for an increase Or delivered on a telephone invoice, a healthy negotiation requires a balance of good faith, trust and comfort with an unpredictable result. Because they see things in black and white, negative thinkers are much more comfortable to be informed of how much is or how much they are worth and agree to accept it reluctantly. They are uncomfortable when they have to both endeavor with a positive result while accepting it, it may not panner.

It might seem unrelated to the negative or positive you are, but according to the executive coachJames Pollard, "Procrastination is often rooted in a deep feeling of myself, which is super negative."

"Procrastination is not a natural humanist," says Pollard. "We have been designed for an emergency. There are many years ago, if we have procrastinated, we have not eaten. We missed the hunt. We missed the planting season and missed the harvest if we have procrastinated. "

Once again, it's something you might not assume is related to your life prospects, but there is a strong connection. We do not say that dessert after dinner is rooted in negativity, but rather eating food regularly, you know how to be terrible for you.

According to pollard, does not eat well, it's actually a type ofAutomast. It is "rooted in a bad sense of self-confidence," he says, and is "particularly dangerous because people who often despise are often dragged with other people who do the same thing".

If you are used to cracking the success of others by the fact that they went to a good college, have a lot of money, know the right people, or have had the chance to stumble in the opportunity - anything but 'They worked hard and created their own good fortune - so, there is a good chance, you have negative perspectives. "The negative person will see success as good luck," says Pollard. "The positive and healthy individual will pay someone as proof that he can do it too."