Good Lifestyle

Those of us whostarted our career long before the smartphone was invented sawwork place Transform over the last decade. Businesses have adopted remote work, technological innovations have made it possible to collaborate easily around the world and more of us to "be our own boss" as independent and freelancers. But all these developments have blurred the lines between ourlives and our personal life. Where we used to leave the work in the office, we carry it now in our pocket wherever we went, what is waiting for us that we had to be on call at any time and that make us more difficult to get out of the "fashion of Work "When we" references or just outside for dinner with friends.

But the bad balance of professional life can negatively affect our personal relationships and our professionals. So, how can we restore balance and recover our lives? We talked to a number of experts offering the following fantastic advice to achieve a better personal work-life balance after 40.

Part of the reason we let the work bleed in our personal lives is that we have clear work goals, but we are much less clear about what we want to do with our lives outside of work.

"If you do not define goal goals for what you want from your time does not work, it's easy for a weekend to slide and not have the impression of having at all," says "Marianne Cantwell, author ofTo be a human free range: escaping 9-5, create a life that you like and always pay the invoices. "So at the beginning of a vacation, or simply the next end of the next weekend, ask yourself: What are three things that would do this holiday / weekend an excellent?"

This could be a link with the family, the time for a walk in nature, do something that has been done on your list for a long time, or just a feeling you want to keep with you, says Cantwell. But the goal is to make sure you maximize your free time and you get as much as you can, just as you would have a past afternoon.

Before you can achieve a personal work-life balance, you really need to know what it means - not just "work" and "life" for themselves, but the "balance" of the two collectively. Establish a clear image of an ideal day: what does it look like while you have a good day at work, what do you look like when you enjoy your life without work full andsohow the two scales from each other.

"Equilibrium is an extremely personal concept," saysRachel Cooke, founder ofDrive over the noise, a development consulting organization. "For some, it might want to leave at 5 pm or do yoga, but for others, it can mean to work wherever and when they wish, or all the time needed at a date of coffee every day. The first balance key defines your own terms. Who are desirable and achievable. "

Often, our work-life-life is thrown out of whack because we forget that we need downtime. We tend to get through our day in a state of low energy that makes it difficult to work efficiently or to appreciate us once the day of work is over. To help mitigate this, try taking desigue breaks for recharging. "For some, it's a five-minute female call with their children. For others, it's a quick cat video, and for some, it can read an article or watch a TED conversation, says Cooke Cooke. The important thing is to "know what you need and when you need it." And also to know that when it is done, you will return to work.

Although we usually describe it as a "life-life" balance, there are more than these two aspects of life. And to succeed in creating a real balance between your different commitments, a clear image of all moving parts is a must. Try to attract a tart and splitting into five categories: career, work, social, family and at home. "What is your vision of how you want to divide your time? Allocate percentages for everyone who represents your current and future state", suggestsSpinner Marian, a former head of Fortune 500 now spending his timecareer coaching Clients on time management, quarries, job search strategies, etc.

If you are like a lot of people, there is a good chance that you immediately envisage your email when you wake up. The next thing you know, you are shot in writing an answer and suddenly your day of work started even before putting pants. "It's better to start with a non-work activity, something that annoys you," saysReuben Yonatan, founder and CEO ofGetvoip. "I'm starting every day at breakfast with my family. We have four children, so between their activities and my job, it can become really temporary once the day is going on. Starting with a meal together , I know we get quality time together every day, then I can do work and get things done. "

Family breakfast does not have to be your morning ritual; This could rather read some pages of a novel, get into a brief morning workout or meditate. The goal is to take the time to participate fully by the day - and saving the work so that the work day really starts.

No, we do not want to say "do not check your phone." We mean to turn off completely, so you do not feel the buzz when a text or email goes. Cantwell suggests setting the adjustment times for your digital detox. Extinguishing your phone fully for a definite period of time, whether for a complete weekend or just for a meal with a person with whom you care about making a biggest difference, mentally that just tell you that you are not going not check it.

"The only way to do so is to schedule it as firmly as the doctor's appointment," says Cantwell. She adds that it is tempting to always be lit, but in the long run, it makes a toll on our greatest thought and creativity. "It's easy to think:" I'm just answering a message "but when you're" at work "24/7, your nervous system has never had the chance to close," she says.

"It's so easy to say" yes "to every opportunity that comes, but I learned the difficulty that no one has time to say" yes "to everything," says Yonatan. "Steve Jobs To this quote that "the innovation says" not "to 1000 things." I think there is a lot of truth about that, and it's not just true for business. It's also true for life in general. "

This may mean spending a project that consumes weeks of your life or decline an invitation to take drinks with a friend to spend quality time with your family.

It can be very satisfying to check the elements of your task list to do, or to specify your mailbox or take care of this phone call that you turn off for weeks. But in the midst of the dozens of daily tasks that require our attention, we tend to get caught trying to do things, just for the reasons to make them do. With this state of mind, you are required to realize that there is always one last thing to do, and one more after that,andOne last thing after that.

"You can increase your efficiency by working less, which releases more time for other important areas of your life", suggestsEmma Donovan, Ma, lpc, aTherapist and coachBased in St. Louis. "Focus on tasks that bring the most important results, not those who make you feel productive, simply because you do something. '"

We often think of "time management" as an ability to get as much as possible in a defined amount of minutes or hours. But as anyone tried to make a deep thought after a big lunch can attest, not all hours are not conducive to making money. "I have several times every day I know I tend to be really productive. I protected these times as much as I can, and I have done a lot this way," says Yonatan. "If I waited for the end of the afternoon to make the most important projects of my day, it takes a lot more time to cross them. It's when I'll finish working late when I really did not have had if I had just planned my day a little better. "

Knowing what moments of the day are the best for which tasks can make the difference between staying at work until the sun is low to get a finished presentation or bringing your task list to make from noon.

People who care a lot about the quality of their work tend to think, "if I want something wrong, I have to do it myself." But this approach can sometimes lead to T0 the exact result of what you wanted to have too much to make means that some of them are probably not going to be done, good or bad. Instead of,Sara Abate Rez, founder ofMy personal brand, suggests taking a line between the work of your responsibility and your work that should be delegated to others.

"Remove from some projects that really require a lot of time and define the limits around the type of work that you are willing to do," she says. "Determine what projects you can delegate to avoid returning to this state submerged. Realize that everything will fall outside without your involvement. Changing some of the responsibilities will allow you to earn more space in your life, which will finally give you clarity to back up and operate more efficiently. "

Like the delegation of the subsidiary or nonshore aspects of your work can be an effective way to better control how you spend your time in the office, a similar approach to your tasks outside of work can help you focus on things the most important. If all your hard work is more and more liquidity, plan to pay for services that can help you release your time at home. "Services such as automatic atmospheric, contextual gift shops, grocery delivery, dry cleaning, mobile bubbling teams / glames can be booked through applications, freeing valuable time in your week," saysTina Urquhart, founder and CEO ofCharming City Concierge. "It allows you to spend more time with your family, pets, friends or work towards goals outside of work."

Hiring someone to clean your home from time to time can value the money it costs if that means your Saturday spends time with your children. Determine which tasks in your daily life could be outsourced and remove those from your list.

One of the most insidious ways we create blurring in the line between our work and our personal life is to dive into "false work" - you are on your work computer, but you really only browse the internet, By checking social media, or other non-work activities.

According to Canwell, this is particularly dangerous for those who work independent. "You can only be paid for what you do. So, if you are in 'always busy but never time to take time to do time, make a point to identify moments of" false work " She said. "Then close the laptop and evacuates, taking an hour or a day off. You will now come back refreshed and dive in the day after the best results - and you will be happier for that too! "

Are you one of those people who catch on the back at the end of the year so as not to use all theirholiday time or personal days? You may want to rethink that. "In some companies, it is possible to be considered a badge of honor because we suppose more time in the office, it's more loyalty and productivity," says Donovan. "But in fact, take a vacation gives you the crucial time that you need to increase the morale, reduce stress and address work with vigor." If you still haveholiday days, Uses them!

Marie Kondo, the guru of declutout and inventor of theKONMARI method, asks those who seek to simplify their lives to pick up items at home and ask: "This joy sparkles?" When the answer is "yes", it remains; When the answer is "no", it is launched. The same strategy works with a daily and weekly schedule. "Take the time to imagine an ideal balanced life, then cross your daily activities and to ask which of them arouses joy and are really necessary," says Donovan. "You may be surprised at the number of tasks. that you spend time to whatsoeverClutter your schedule. "

It may seem that it only takes a second of your time during the day to open Facebook and see what people are displaying, but in reality, it can completely redirect your goal and make your attention to the task to accomplish. . It often means doing your job, you will stay in the office longer.

"When working at home and you are on social media for commercial purposes, it can be difficult to focus," saidHeather Castillo, founder of the blogSuper mom life. "I make sure I limit any interaction of personal social media during working hours, which leaves me more time to do my job and in turn, gives me more time with my family once my hours Work is over. If I want to go back to social media for personal reasons, I do it once the children have gone. "

To stay focused on what needs to be done on a given day at work, the key is worth noting some items you will support to finish that day. This clarity - and the feeling of completion, it gives you once these items are finished - better allows you to close your shop for the day and have fun fully outside the office.

"The purchase of a planner and the list My daily tasks have been a game changer for me," says Castillo. "I know exactly what I have to do every day and if I finish early, I'll start working on something for the next day or take the rest of the day to go with my family. The list keeps me responsible for my deadlines and help -Me to do extra time when I need it. "

Draw a clear line between your workday and your personal time is essential if you will completely succeed at one or the other. And this means that respect for the clock - when it says that the working day is over, it means it's over. "If you intend to stop working at 5 am barely Thursday, finish at the latest at 5 o'clock.Brian Richie, a senior advisor withLabuituit.com, a career tip and a coaching organization in the Silicon Valley. "Keeping the strict deadlines for yourself helps prevent exhaustion and work to wear too much in your personal life. Set an evening or two aside every week that you are dedicated to yourself. Allow yourself. Allow yourself Relax, decompress and do what you like most to stay energetic. "

Give this difficult stop also motivating you to complete tasks faster and with a greater emergency as possible if you did not tell you that you said to you: "I can always stay an hour of an hour so that it ends up . "

You have a much bigger chance to stick to a goal if you inform another person. The same goes for your strike efforts and maintain a balance between work and life. "For example, set a goal for a special date night with your other that you both have to enjoy once you hit a certain stage," says Richie. "Now your other other will be excited so you can work effectively and effectively to fulfill your goal in order to also get a piece of reward."

This approach can be applied to many other aspects of encouraging a personal work-life balance, as asking a friend to meet you for drinks after working to make sure you leave the office when you say that you want.

Just like telling another person, your goals are often an effective way to help you stay with them, then you say aloud. This can simply say: "I will start working at 9 o'clock and I will be done at 5," or something bigger image.

With two decades of Executive Leadership Experience,Annkenken R. Day, former cultural director for the Computer CompanyTanberg, advises, "Tell you very much to yourself (yes, I'm not kidding not):" I am the master of my own life. What I do not like, I can change. What I like, I'll do more. I am better for everyone else when I'm accused, and me, and me alone, know what it will take. I am therefore decided that everything that sucks my energy, I will do less - and possibly eliminate from my life. What gives me energy and makes me happy, I will do more, and make an important and integral part of how I live my life. "

Day also defends the establishment of "white space" on your calendar, which designates a moment when you are free to do everything you would like as long as it does not work. "Talk with your family and your family, tell them why that's important for you all," she says. "If you need a good analogy; use the aircraft safety instruction [who says] you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. Remember that you will not be a lot good for them, if you can not breathe. "

Few practices have proven to be more effective in improving concentration and relaxation that meditation. "It helps you connect to your inner potential, helps you be more effective at work and clean the minds of worry and stress," saysVish Chatterji, executive coach and co-author ofThe occasional yogi of business. "It also takes you to be more present and consciously conscious in human interactions. It makes you more effective for reading people at work and really be there for your peeps at home."

An effective way to recognize when you change from whom you are at work to the person you are at home is to make a ritual part of decompression of your day. "Do you have a practice to decompress between the end of the day of work and seeing your family," says Chatterji. "That the book to the day can be a short walk, a work exit, a meditation or just throwing the volume for a few minutes at the house of the car. Do not wear the working day in the living room."

"To love oneself is at the heart of the work-life balance of professional life," saysCharlene Walters, a company and a branded mentor and author ofPossess your other. "The balance helps individuals in their personal lives by giving them time for people and things that are special without feeling too extended or guilty for not having enough time for everything." Asense of trust In yourself and your own preferences can make any other decision you do on how your time is spent more easily.

A greater honesty with ourselves and transparency with other-patterns, colleagues, family and friends - on the amount of bandwidth we have more likely to gain their respect and understanding than to make them irritated that we can not do everything that asks us. "Let everyone know where they stand and what are your borders," says Walters. "Get them aboard your borders and plans and tell them how you intend to find time for them, where they integrate and how important their buy-in is. You will be surprised to know how they will be favorable. "

You probably share everything about your life with your partner and this includes your work. But while you have to include your other important element on this important part of your life, it can be easy to let it continue to be your goal even when you are far from the office. The solution? "If you and your partner and do you like to discuss work problems as a way to connect and unload, perform a definite time on which you can download," says the clinical psychologistCarla Marie Manly, PhD. "When we" discharge "this way, we freed ourselves from the rumination of work throughout the evenings and weekends."

This misty sense to always have more to do - even when it's on weekends, you are on vacation, otherwise the end of the working day can be mitigated by consulting major projects as a series of small tasks to complete . Instead of letting the day drag in the evening as much remains to be done on a given project, try sending a handful of items to your list. In this way, you can feel sufficiently accomplished to call it one day and leave the other micro-tasks for tomorrow.

Similarly in the same way that major projects can be divided into micro-tasks, major changes you want to set up in your life, as better balance your work and your personal life - can be better accomplished by taking small steps Towards the most important goal. .

"The big changes may seem overwhelming," says Manly. "To avoid feeling defeated, it is important to create small micro-objectives to support the changes you plan. When you imagine your new ideal planning, set simple and achievable micro-objectives that will help you work for changes. desired. You are much more likely. To make the necessary modifications when your goals are detailed, specific and time-oriented. "

If you are not serious about drawing a line between your work and your personal life for your own love, consider the impact it has on your relationships and your family. Leaving the work Take the job All is not just make you miss important things from life, it causing collateral damage for those who are the most important for you. "If you have children - no matter their age, remember that they learn" how to be "in looking at you," says Virily. "If you are focused on work, even at home, your children will feel this workshould Be the priority in life. Ask yourself, "Am I the kind of worker, partner and father, I want my children to model? Knowing that your actions influence others - relatives to friends - can be a strong source of inspiration for change. "

If the work resumes your life, it may be time to add something new in the mix that excites you more than doing work. Find a hobby project or passion that keeps you away from the office can be the key to getting control of your personal life. "Write this scenario, finger painting, start a charity, volunteer," suggests a coach of life and authorRobin H-C. "Do something that is indulgent to your specific needs, giving you permission to love what you like and make time for that that reinstate your internal fire."

"Define very clear borders between work and your privacy, and do not interfere with another, at least not regularly," suggestsRoger MAFAN, a professional expert and a content strategist toResumellab. "Treat your home like a sanctuary and your free time like sacred weather to cool off and gather energy for the next day of work. Believe me, your family will also appreciate."

The loyalty with the label of a report or a detail on a PowerPoint slide can lead to you to lose hours of your time instead of staying on things that actually rely. "As much as possible 100% can make great satisfaction, it is sometimes necessary to give up a little," says Mafean. "In most cases, what you need to be done correctly, not perfect. This is in no way an invitation to relax, but working beyond your own strength will have the long-term opposite effect . Slow down and try keeping a healthy distance. "

Many studies have found that our happiness and well-being can be improved by regularlyreflecting on what we are grateful For in our lives. It is also a habit that makes us more effective in maintaining a balance in our work life and our personal life, focusing on what we appreciate about everyone. "When things become busy and the work-life is stressed, it's easy to feel stuck and drained," saysMichael O'Brien, head of the exchange postPeloton Coaching and Consulting. "Have a practice of gratitude before the bed helps you move your perspective to what works. It's a practice that can even help you see the value of your challenge, because our challenges often raise growth and future success. "

There are few clearer physical manifestations of wild labor balance than having a phone to your bed-unconsciously remind you to think about work even when you sleep. Keep it out of reach or (even better) from the bedroom completely.

One of the most important facilitates of a balance between professional life out of professional life is when we are dishonest with ourselves of how capacity can be done in a given day or given. We agree to get a huge project made by Thursday and Wednesday, we realize that we will have to work until midnight to complete it in time. By mitigating by fixing realistic deadlines on projects, whether long-term tasks or just quick tasks. Your boss will respect you to be realistic.

Set realistic deadlines requires a clear understanding of the amount of work you can actually perform in a given time. To do this, start calming yourself and get a firm amount of the amount you can complete when it is fully focused on the task to accomplish. "Time tracking will help you understand how long it takes you to perform certain tasks," saysEllen Mullarkey, Vice President of Business Development for theMessina staff staffing group. "Once you know this information, you can use it to schedule your program more efficiently and avoid overbooking yourself."

You have probably placed once for a meeting with your boss and you will probably get to that on time, looking for your best and feel very mentally. But you should also do that with those who are the most important for you in life. Give the conversation that you have with your spouse the same attention you would be a project meeting and be present for a fun evening as you give a presentation.

There are few ways to better pull your brain from "working mode" than perspiration at the gym. "[Exercise] releases endorphins and reduces the levels of cortisol, which contribute to anxiety and helps you sleep better," saysDavid Strah, an authorized psychotherapist and an author based in Los Angeles. "Exercise is a great way to improve the professional balance and can be a great way to transition or decompress work at home."

We are what we eat and a balanced healthy diet is crucial for a healthy and balanced life. When you are in the middle of an intense work project and staying late in the office, it is easy to order take away or fast food, convincing that we are too busy being able to worry about consumption more responsible. But eating healthier foods you enjoys all aspects of your life. "It gives you more energy to work on your business, but you can then go home and engage your life without crashing out in exhaustion," saysKayla pendleton, owner and founder ofBrand, co-work space and community for entrepreneurial women.

"Being out of balance happens so often because we think we have to do all our own," says Pendleton. "But you have no idea of ​​the ease that it could be if you are ready to ask for help. Not only helping to do what you need to do, but also helping to learn how much the People succeed their time in business and life. "While tending to other people to help support the burden or offer advice, you can free yourself to live and enjoy your life.

As with all the rest of life, there will be exceptions to the rules we have defined for ourselves in our goal of achieving a personal work-life balance, and sometimes a major project or a particular request could make it necessary to Loose and work late at night or during the weekend. But this should be the exception, not the rule. "I like the job I'm doing ... So, it does not bother me that sometimes I have a lot of long days," says Pendleton. "But then, I make sure I take the time coming from me and my family."