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Just about everyone had a meeting with intimidation in his life and knows too well how much it's really terrible, it's the target of intentional mischief of someone and cruelty. But someone has been intimidated or even inflicted intimidation behavior, one of the most important ability to fight bullying is simply to understand why intimidators feel the need to behave in this way .

According to Joel Haber, Ph.D., a counselor, an intimidation expert and the author ofIntimidate your child for life,Bullying is supported by a complex combination of nature and maintenance.

"Some people are born with more aggressive sides and some with less, but the environment can bring out or reduce aggressive screens," he says. "Modeling the roles of intimidation behavior, especially powerful role models, plays an important role."

Hanalei Vierra, an authorized marriage and a family therapist and author ofThe true heart of a man, says that if there is a personality trait that can be found in virtually all bullying, is that they are very safe people and are often imitating the behaviors they themselves witnesses or experienced.

"It means that more than probably, the environment they have been raised as children was once they have known a lot of shame and humiliation on themselves," he says. "The desire or necessity of intimidating comes from a primitive need to recover his self and his self-respect."

Haber says that, even if someone can act aggressive and behave like intimidation sometimes, most people have enough empathy they will regret and modify their behavior when they see it hurt others. But a small percentage of people are "genetically wired to act consistently and not be able to change their aggressive trends."

But what about intimidation in an online world?

This is not a secret to anyone than social media and other online platforms are crawling with bullying. And the truth is, they effectively exceed the empathic responses that would be expected in the average person. According to Haber, technology allows people acting aggressively to avoid seeing the impact of their behavior. They do not receive the immediate indices that would normally trigger a sense of empathy.

"This allows others who may not have used intimidation behavior to engage because their actions do not generally have immediate and direct comments," says Haber.

Vierra agrees that the anonymity of social media in fact "the ideal place for intimidation", allowing the intimidator to feel free from the responsibility or regret of their bad behavior. He says that often the online world can serve as "onRAMP" for bullying, which facilitates the removal of a stranger without the usual controls that would be imposed by face-to-face social norms.

Understanding what drives intimidation behavior, whether online or in IRL, the best answer is usually the same thing: limit your emotional reaction. Theft credits feed the reactions they inspire and give them what they want because they can feed other attacks by showing the intimidator they have on you, according to Haber.

"If you feel the need to intimidate, stop and remember taking a break before answering - especially online - and see if the same message can be delivered without injury and pain," he suggests. " Ask yourself how it would feel if anyone delivered you the same message. Use your empathy as your own barometer. "

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