50 ways to have a healthy sex life after 40 years
Get ready to feel like a teenager again.
For several people,the life of more than 40 years is rather great: yourcareer is better than ever and yourconfidence is at a level of all times. However, the time sands do not perpetrate anyone, and for people over 40 people, life in the bedroom can change dramatically over the years and not always for the better. But if you want to keep things fresh in the sheets after the Big 4-0 has arrived and that could be easier than you think. These expert advice on how to keep things spicy and have yourbest sex After 40 years. Follow these tips and you will feel again like a teenager in no time.
50 tips for your best sex after 40:
1. Accept the changes in your body.
Feel comfortable in your body is sexy, no matter what age, then kisses the changes you see - and let your partner do the same.
"Your body certainly does not look identical as before," saysDr. Nikola Djordjevic, MD, ofMedhelpalet.org. "Do not be afraid of that and make sure you like to love your body as it is. Do not look back, focus on now."
2. Expand your definition of what sex is.
If your preferences in the bedroom have changed over the years, it is high time that you redefine what sex means for you.
"The hugging, cuddling and excitement can be funny enough," says Djordjevic. "Make sure you explore with your partner and do not be afraid to talk about your wishes."
3. Take the inventory of your medications.
If you were less enthusiastic about the prospect of being intimate that before, try talking to your doctor to know if any of your current medications could be standing between you and a more fulfilling sex life.
"There are certain drugs whose side effects include the reduction of libido or (for women) the ability of lower lubrication," saidDr. Lina Velikova, MD, ofDisturbance.co. "These include antidepressants,arterial pressure Drugs, antihistamines (allergy medicines), drugs to regulatecholesteroland ulcety drugs. If you are on one of these medications and you have problems with excitement or lubrication, talk to your doctor. »
4. Choose comfortable positions.
Pain and pains tend to appear as if we get older, as we get older, so it is essential to re-evaluate your room routine if you notice that your usual positions simply do not cut it.
"If you haveBack acheDo not discourage you, "says Velikova." Find the most comfortable position that did not span the back. Côte side is a good position for that. "
5. Stimulate the production of feelings-good hormones.
Engage in some affectionate who affect "triggering the production of sensation-good hormones-oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin and dopamine," suggestsMaryann Karinch, author ofMature sexual intimacy. "[They] Pump your desire for proximity, elevate your mood and [help] discover all kinds of new pleasures (and old)."
6. Give the reinsurance of your partner outside the bedroom.
"As the age of our body, we may want to reassure that we are always desired," saysSteven reigns, LMFT, founder of Los AngelesTherapy for adults. "This can create pressure sexual situations on which each movement and the maneuver of your partner is examined for proof that you are or that you are not attractive." To help fight this problem, try to give your partner reassurance outside the bedroom - make a note from when they dress, show them the affection when you are together and take the time toRomantic dates as soon as possible.
7. Do not be afraid to discuss this small blue pill.
If you or your partner have difficulties in the bedroom, do not be afraid to discuss exploring your medical options. "In male spaces, sex is openly discussed.Sexual dysfunction is not. This can lead a part thinking erectile dysfunction (ED) is less common than it is in reality, "says reigns.
"For men's partners requiring drugs, it may be difficult not to take the need for erectile medications personally, especially if we felt unsightly from their aging bodies," he notes. "The logic of 'if he was really in me, he would not need a pill" is defective. If your partner needed hearing aid, did it mean that they really did not want to listen to you? "
8. Play it safely.
Do you think you can give up protection with new partners after a certain age? Still think.
"There has been a good amount of research and reporting in recent years suggesting that seniors do not learn from condoms when leaving the city," saidCarol Queen, Ph.D., good vibrations, the sexologist of the staff and the curator of the museum of the antique vibrators and co-author ofThe Book of Sex and Pleasure: Great Sex Vibration Guide for Everyone. "People over 50 can certainly get sexually transmitted infections, so be informed, be ready and play safe."
9. Make sex a coherent part of your routine.
While you should certainly not have sex when you do not have the impression that intimacy can make you more open to become Frisky in the future. According to a 2017 study published inPsychological science, couples had more relational satisfaction up to two weeks after sex - and considering this happy feeling in your relationship, it's a key factor in wanting to have sex to start, it ends up being an auto cycle -perpetual.
10. Work on your confidence.
Do not feel sexy? Instead of spending tons of money on lingerie or toys, try to work on your self-esteem. "Sexist is trust," saysNazanin Moali, PhD, a sexual therapist in Torrance, California and the host ofThe podcast of sexology. "It's a different type of confidence that we may have had in our 20 or 30 years, but the one who is based on our achievements, our achievements and what we became in life."
11. Share your needs, even if it's uncomfortable at first.
Even if it feels uncomfortable at the beginning, talking about your needs in the bedroom will keep your love health healthy long-term.
"Couples over 50 years often say that the word" sex "was taboo in their growing household, which makes it difficult to open with each other, even as adult adults," according toCoach and husband and wife therapist Adam king, CLC, andKarissa J. King, Ma, LMFT, authors ofSexpections - Healthy Sexual Life After 50 Years. "So, while their innate design pushes them to have sex, speaking of it requires intentionality, advice and even learn."
12. Make sure you sleep enough.
Obtain aGood night rest And you may be easier for you to read the clues of your gender partner. According to a 2013 study published inTo sleepThe private sleeping men were more likely to misinterpret the behavior of their partner as a sexual interest, even if it is not the case potentially with certain feelings of serious rejection when they are refused time and time. If you want to keep your sex life in good health, make sure you get adequate rest and you will be better equipped to distinguish the moment when your partner wants to get it.
13. Experience with new activities in the bedroom.
According to a research review in 2017 published in theJournal of Sex Research, more satisfied couples said they participated in a greater variety of sexual acts than their less satisfied counterparts.
14. Practice full consciousness.
A littleself-consciousness In the bedroom could make all the difference when it comes to your sex life. According to a 2019 study published in theJournal of Sex & Marital TherapyThe people who were more conscious during sexual relations benefited both a greater sexual satisfaction and a greater self-esteem.
15. Be a routine breaker outside the bedroom.
There is something to say for the predictability of the relationship. We have a comfort level to know that Friday is for movies or one of you will cook and one of you will do the cleaning, or you both despise the patriots.
But long-term couples should find ways to mix the steady pace of their lives - with new outings, new restaurants, new couples to hang. "The most recent activity, plus the increase in the chemical dopamine of the sensation-good," which improves mood, saysAVA CADELL, Ph.D., author ofNeuroloveology.
16. And in the bedroom.
"After many years of sex with the same person, the act of making love can take some predictability," says Cadel. Switch something: the room, the night of the week, the order in which you delete the clothes, the canal. It will make a difference.
17. Crush a little cardio.
Sexual function is controlled, in part, by the quality of the blood flow to your organs. Vigorous cardiovascular exercise - At least three or four times a week where your heart rate jumps to the point you breathe hard - you will do better in bed.
"Because the blood flow is vital for sexual organs to work, all you can do to improve the health of your heart will improve your sex life," saysMichael Roizen, MD, responsible for the well-being of theCleveland Clinic.
18. Put the iron at least twice a week.
Resistance exercises help not only change your body's weight and shape (both will have physical and psychological benefits), but they also increase your testosterone.
"Testosterone is the key hormone for men and women for libido," says Kenizen. "Resistance exercise helps muscle mass increase, which improves testosterone. »No access to dumbbells? A routine of exercises-pulls, squats, body weight and sudden movements will work.
19. Get on the same page financially.
"Stress of the Cause N ° 1 Financial problems in relations-is related to many health problems, so when couples havemoney Problems, it usually means that they are also difficult in the bedroom, "Kingzen said. Plan a financial meeting once a month between you two. Just talking, even if you do not agree - not always things gets going in the right direction.
20. Bank on healthy greases.
One of your greatest food allies are healthy fat, such as those found in fish and nuts. "They will help you reduce inflammation, blood pressure and your ugly LDL cholesterol levels. When they change, they can help improve sexual function, "says Roizen.
21. Reduce the sugar in your diet.
One of the biggest threats for a healthy sex life? A regime that tritters your bowels. Decrease and replace your consumption of foods processed with those with family arterial compounds (such as fruits and vegetables). "Food with high sugar content increases your risk a number of problems that cause your arteries to operate less efficiently and that bad news for all parts of the body involved in sexual function," says Kingzen.
22. Shut up the last 10 pounds.
"Tour of size is directly related to sexual function," says Kingzen. "The higher it is, the more likely you will have some malfunction. »
23. Take a little garlic.
According to a 2016 study published in theJournal of Nutrition, Cloves and panting Busting Vampire have advantages-compensation artery. And you know what better ways of blood flow ...
24. Drink red wine more often.
An Italian study, published in 2009 in theSexual medicine newspaper, Showed that those who had one or two glasses of redwine One day had higher levels of sexual satisfaction.
25. Pimate things in the kitchen.
The key to a warmer sex life? Hotter food. A 2015 study in the journalPhysiology and behavior found that spicy food increases testosterone. So get ready to raise the pressure on your plate and in the room.
26. Add a little red to your menu.
Tomatoes containlycopene, Which can restore blood glucose and reduce oxidative stress. These health benefits lead to better blood circulation, which, again, can brake erectile dysfunction.
27. Follow the "apple a day" adage.
A 2014 study in theGynecology and obstetric archives found that women who apples had regularly eaten higher levels of sexual function. Scientists think it's because apples contain antioxidants that improve blood flow (and therefore excitement).
28. Bring the B vitamins.
A 2014 study in theAsian Journal of Andrology highlighted a correlation between a low level of sexual function and low levels of folic acid (vitamin B9). So, if you want to improve your room activities, add food with vitamin B-like green vegetables with dark leaves, citrus and beans-in your diet.
29. Say: "I love you" more.
A 2016CHAPMAN UNIVERSITY Study on sexual satisfaction in long-term couples revealed that those who were more sexually satisfied for example: "I love you" during sex.
30. Make sex more fun.
The same study of the Chapman University revealed that sexually satisfied couples indicated that their sex was both passionate and playful, it should not be afraid of stupid in the bag.
31. Up romantic gestures LES.
The little things really make a big difference.Dr. Bea Jaffrey, Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist based in Switzerland, saidMarie ClaireWho should start Foreplay long before you really have sex. "I'm talking here about the mind that goes away Foreplay days in advance, not the one you just before sex", she notes. "Make sure you are attentive to your partner. Small gestures and good comments are important to solve the good mood for sex. »
32. Take a travel set.
The key to improving your sex life over 40? Your passport. According to a 2016 study carried out by theAmerican Travel Association,traveling together Not only helps maintain the strength of relationships, he can help intimacy Ignored Couples too.
33. Talk about your partner's body.
Compliment Your parts of the body-and partners not only those related to sexuality. A 2017 study in theSexual medicine newspaperReports a correlation between lower body image and a low level of satisfaction, which is sexual logical because more means of insecurity more inhibition. Giving the self-esteem of your partner a little boost could make a big difference in the room.
34. Make regular sex a priority.
A 2017 studyPlos one Revealed what many couples already know: as a couple with higher rates of physical intimacy tend to get closer. It's not average quantity of quality, but you must havesome quantity of having more quality.
35. A pose.
A study conducted in 2010 in theSexual medicine newspaper foundyoga reduced sexual dysfunction and improved libido. Other benefits of the practice of these poses include better breathing and control, as well as more flexibility. Just do not make a "dog down" joke in bed.
36. Drinking Get in the morning.
As indicated byThe sun In 2017, Forza supplements conducted research that revealed that the best time of the day to have sex is the opposite time when many couples have sex: 7:30 seems to be ideal. Indeed, about 45 minutes after the awakening is when your energy levels are the highest.
37. Work through your conflicts.
relational problems affect your mood and global satisfaction, and Thusly the desire for influence. Do not talk about your problems will not marry more problems and who goes for your sex life too.
38. Spend more time together.
Your schedules can be busy, but by making more time for the other, even when you are not getting darling, can you do more interested in another sexually. A 2014 studyHormones and behavior revealed that the oxytocin-liaison hormone which in the moments of stimulation of solidarity, can intensify orgasms as well as contentment after sex.
39. Create a ritual set.
Foot massages every Sunday night, co-cooking every Thursday, or a hike on the first weekend of the month to create a coherence, stimulate oxytocin, and can do wonders for your level of physical intimacy.
40. Spend more time snubs.
A 2014 study in theArchives of Sexual behavior Found a key ingredient for the success of the long-term relationship: snuggling post-sex. According to the research, there is a close link between "post-sex affectionate behavior (for example, cuddling, caressing, shared privacy) and sexual satisfaction and relationships. »
41. Never underestimate the power of a massage.
Candles, oils, ambient music. Nothing gives tone as a good full body Rub-for you two.
42 ... or a bubble bath.
It is just as relaxing asmassage, With the exception of 100 percent less clothes. Pro tip: Double bubbles with a bottle of Moët.
43. Remember the hierarchy of compliments.
What you say questions.
When you say it's more important.
How do you say that matters the most?
44. Remember the hierarchy of the room.
What you do things.
When you do it is more important.
How do you find that count the most?
45. Remember the hierarchy of desire.
How do you look at things.
How do you act any more questions.
How do you treat each other every day more?
46. Bring some reinforcements.
The truth is that we live in the golden age of toys: big, small, for him, for her, for both. You can even find a 24-carat toy that double (and passes) like a necklace pendant forward fashion! There is something out there for you who can take your pleasure at unimaginable levels.
47. Add a little sexy literature to your must list.
Of course, you can put on a video for rev your engines. But you can also tryreading that sort of thing. Today, there are innumerable sites full of this content. Let your imagination run.
48. Develop your social possibilities.
Do you want to make your relationship more satisfying? Try channeling your inner extrovert. A 2005 study published in theEuropean Journal of Personality reveals that even if the satisfaction of neuroticism moistened relationship, extraversion and reinforced what does not work as a partner who is outgoing, both in the room and outside?
49. Reduce your dependence on porn.
Watching pornography together can be sexy for some couples, but it may have exaggeration a negative effect on your long-term relationship. According to a 2017 study of published research inHuman Communication Research, Pornography consumption has been associated with reduced interpersonal satisfaction.
50. Keep your curiosity alive.
It's never too late to test your sexuality. You will never know if you are not looking. And for other ways to take things from a notch, learn more about30 ways the exercise stimulates your sex life.
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