Good Lifestyle

If you're here just to meet someone who has the makings of a friend or girlfriend, this can be both exciting and stressful. You can enjoy it, find out how the other ticks. But there is also great uncertainty. It is worried that you say something or behaves that the other believes it was a great spinner. However, there are ways to minimize the risk of saying something or doing that kills the relationship before it has even begun. Here are 11 no-nos that you should avoid at the beginning of the relationship.

/ Behavior 1. Going to need clinging

It is quite natural that you want to spend as much time as possible with someone at the beginning of a relationship. The feeling is probably mutual. But if he / she wants to go as every Tuesday evening to his / her book club or meets with a friend for a coffee without you to come, you should not feel jealous or resentful you. If your relationship grows, he / she will be more willing to include you in his / her broader social life, including getting to know his / her closest friends. At the same time it is important that you both continue to have a life outside of your relationship.

2. Too fast scheduling the common future

When the transition is completed by a date to a formal relationship, there is a sense of euphoria and excitement that can not be ignored. It is so amazing! One even finds the little annoying quirks of other lovable. Perhaps he / she really the / the right thing! It is this mindset that brings some people to make the terrible mistake to plan too far in advance. If you know just a few weeks or months, it is far too early to talk about a contraction. And even the hint of a wedding is a big taboo at this stage. Just enjoy the relationship and be patient. No rush.

3. Compare with the ex-partner

If you compare your / n friend / in with previous partners, you send two really bad messages. First, it gives him / her that you are not perhaps your / your ex away, especially if you / him speak in a positive light about them. Second, it puts them under unnecessary pressure to meet the expectations you have of them, even if you think you are doing them a compliment, because they are so much better than Jake and Jennifer ever were.

To meet 4. Expect all your ideals

While compatibility and common interests obviously an important part of a relationship are, you need to allow some flexibility. If you go on dates and the person get to know that opportunity does not treat her like a human resources manager. Do not worry about the food preferences, interest in sports or willingness to party. Accept the person as it is and take that as a criterion for determining whether a long-term relationship is possible.

5. Ignore the immediate red flags

Although you certainly can not expect that a partner perfect in every way, there is also the danger that one all over sees his negative qualities, either in the hope that they will change over time, or because you find them physically so attractive , trying to convince himself that these character flaws are not a big deal. If you notice it that or it has properties that can cope very difficult - perhaps he or she is very argumentative, meets questionable decisions that have or they got him into trouble, or he or she has deep-rooted political or religious beliefs that match in a way that would ever lead to conflict - then the probability is very high that the relationship will not last.

6. emerge in the workplace

A new friend or a new girlfriend to surprise by her or cook him a meal or flowers sent (or better yet, tickets to the Super Bowl!), Is a nice touch. But to emerge at the beginning of the relationship in the office - especially if they have not even told their colleagues of your existence - can say embarrassing and, frankly, be scary. , Exalt Give the person a few months to you before you your grand entrance have.

7. He / borrow their money

If you are together for a while and he / she starts to ask you to lend him / your money, promote nothing good for the future of the relationship. First, it is a questionless sign that he / she can not handle his / her finances very well. Second, it is a sign that he / she holds you for granted, which is not good if a relationship is just at the beginning.

8. Concentrate almost exclusively on the intimacy of the relationship

In the beginning of the relationship you will make a lot of rummages and probably more. But one should not neglect the other elements, including emotional compatibility. To find common interests and be prepared to listen to him when he has a difficult day, will help to strengthen the relationship.

9. say the "L" word

Although everyone himself determines when he loves his partner, you should never say "I love you" before you are not completely sure that the feeling of reciprocity is based. Otherwise, your partner could feel guilty because it is unable to respond with sincerity. In some cases it can take 3 months while others may wait for 6 months before they finally say these words.

10. Imagine the whole family

It is nothing wrong to ask the new partner or the new partner if he / she wants to meet with the siblings for lunch or on a cocktail, but if you're in the relationship just a few weeks and you / she At the 80th birthday of your grandma, this is a very questionable decision. You should take a lot of time to meet you before daring this step. The last thing you want is that the family members know where the relationship leads before you do it!

11. How someone behaves that you are not

If you meet someone who comes into question as a girlfriend / friend, the temptation is great to portray you as a cooler than you are actually. However, this is an impossible act that can not be permanently lasted. It is best if you are just yourself. Then you will either like you for what you are (and hopefully love you sometime), or you will not do it in which case you will simply move on.