How to be a better partner: 15 expert advice
This simple advice will strengthen your link and deepen your relationship.
Romantic relationship Can be deeply enriching, but they also require hard work. The good news is that if you are wondering how to be a better partner, you are already asking the right question - something that shows that you are committed, proactive and willing to work on personal growth at the service of a better union. Although each relationship is different and has its own strengths and weaknesses, experts say that there are a handful of advice that can benefit into practically each couple. Read the rest to learn the 15 ways of being a better partner and deepening your romantic link, according to the therapists and the couple's advisers.
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1 Adopt conflict as an opportunity for growth.
One of the best ways to become a better partner is to learn better skills in conflict resolution. These include being honest while emphasizing respect, seeking to understand and validate the feelings and perspectives of your partner, to be open to constructive criticism and to be ready to make compromises, among others.
"Each healthy relationship will have a certain level of conflict. If there is never conflict or disagreement, it means that someone in the relationship is not expressed," said Cheryl Groskopf , LMFT, LPCC, psychotherapist with Evolution of healing psychotherapy .
She says that rather than spanking you between you, these moments of divergence can help you better understand themselves: "Confirmation of conflicts as growth opportunities rather than threats. Approach disagreements with curiosity and will to understand the point of view of your partner. "
2 Listen to understand, not to answer.
Too often, we are so taken in the desire to be understood that we forget to actively listen to what our partner has to say.
"When your partner speaks, focus on really understanding of its perspective rather than planning your refutation. This deep listening helps you feel connected and valued. A defensive argument," explains Groskopf.
3 Avoid the "four riders" in communication.
Although a certain degree of conflict is normal and expected in a relationship, it is also important to prevent temperatures from evacuating unnecessarily. Gabrielle Morse , LMHC, psychotherapist at Gabrielle Morse, LMHC psychotherapy , says that learning to avoid the "four riders" in communication - defensive, contempt, criticism and walling of stone - can considerably improve your skills in conflict resolution and help you bypass unnecessary battles.
"It is important that couples speak gently when lifting a problem with each other," she said Better life. "When things are heated, focus on the demorative.
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4 Engage in shared rituals.
The creation of a link with your partner is a continuous practice, and the experts say that a way of deepening your sense of shared meaning is to engage in shared rituals. Groskopf notes that even small rituals can have an impact - for example, leaving for a weekly evening or taking your morning coffee together.
"It is not only about activity, but intention behind it - launching each other. This consistency is a powerful reminder of your commitment and your love," she says Better life.
5 Engage in personal growth.
If you want to grow up as a couple, it is also important to continue growing as an individual. Set goals in various aspects of your life and make an effort to pursue them.
"A healthy relationship does not concern two perfect people, but two people are committed to growing together," said Groskopf. "As you evolve, you bring new ideas and forces in the relationship. This shows that you are two independent individuals who choose to be together and support the growth of the other."
6 Create healthy limits and honor theirs.
All relations benefit from having healthy limits And romantic partnerships are not different. They do not have to feel like a wall put in place between you - they are there to ensure that the desires, needs and expectations of each are communicated and encountered as often as possible.
"The limits allow each partner to have their feeling of security and respect. The open communication of these limits can lead to a stronger connection, because the two individuals include the needs and the limits of each", explains Kristie TSE , LMHC, founder of Discover mental health advice .
However, before tracing lines in the sand, it is important to think about the question of whether your limits are healthy or if you use them to control the other person or the relationship. For example, telling your partner that they are going through a border by spending time with certain people or dressed in a certain way is not considered healthy.
Unless it is something that hurts you, exploring the limits of your comfort should be the start of the conversation in which you both share your perspectives - not necessarily an ultimatum.
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7 Make your partnership a safe space.
Relations should be a safe space in which the two partners can share all the sides of themselves without fear of judgment. Stroll to accept the full spectrum of your partner's personality and let him know that your goal can greatly help create this atmosphere.
"This implies active listening, to validate each other's feelings and to offer coherent support. It is a question of knowing that your partner has his back, whatever happens," explains Groskopf.
8 Have fun more.
Working actively to cultivate more positivity in the relationship is another way of being a better partner. In other words, take mission to have fun more together.
"Research shows that divorces and failed relationships are associated with the lack of positivity in the relationship rather than with the presence of negativity. We need efforts to create an environment in which there is an appreciation, a condition and a friendship "Explains Morse. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
9 Practice appreciation and gratitude.
One of the best ways to be a better partner is to practice gratitude for all your other fact. Then be sure to tell them about the traits and positive actions that you notice.
"Even the smallest gesture, like thanking them for having a cup of tea or giving them a goodbye hug, shows that you see what they are doing for you. Sarah Jeffries , MSC, a Mental Health First Trainer .
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10 Do not compare your partner to others.
As saying, the comparison is the thief of joy says - and this is particularly true if you compare your partner to others.
"Comparisons can create feelings of insufficiency and resentment. Each person has unique qualities and experiences that contribute to their identity. Kissing your partner for whom he is, rather than measuring them against others, strengthens the link that You share, "says TSE.
She adds that it goes hand in hand with understanding that no one is perfect, including yourself and the person you may feel tempted to compare your partner.
"Recognize that no one is flawless cultivates empathy and compassion in a relationship," she explains. "Accepting your partner's imperfections promotes an indulgent atmosphere where the two partners can grow and learn together without unnecessary pressure."
11 Make an effort to know the inner world of your partner.
Really seeing your partner for whom they are and having a rich understanding of their inner world is another way of deepening your relationship and becoming a better partner. The best way to do so is to assume that there are many things you don't know and that you are curious about it - even if you have been together for years or decades.
"Ask open questions about your partner and never stop doing it. Because we are constantly playing, it is important to continue to understand and discover your partner. Find out about their feelings, their hopes, their dreams, their fears - Everything, "advises Morse.
12 Put your pride aside.
When pride stimulates your actions, you might be less likely to self-reflection and apologize if necessary. You can also have a less generous interpretation of your partner when your ego is involved.
"Letting go of pride often leads to a deeper understanding and connection," said TSE. "When the two partners are ready to admit errors and show vulnerability, it strengthens confidence. The priority of the relationship on ego can considerably improve emotional intimacy."
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13 Focus on repair and planning after conflict.
What happens After A conflict can also shape your relationship. Exercise, recognize your role in the dispute and demonstrate your desire to actively repair the link can help rebuild your partnership better than ever.
"If we are fighting correctly, we understand the needs of our partner," explains Morse. "It is important to treat a conflict and offer a collaborative plan to find out how to remedy it or prevent it next time."
The two partners should act in good faith and focus on what they can improve next time. Try to ask, "How do you think we could have managed this situation better? What do you need me that you didn't get this time?"
14 Prioritize confidence.
Supporting confidence by being transparent, reliable and honest is another way to be a better partner and improve your relationship.
"Always keep your promises and the confidence of your partner. Active creation of trust and honesty is crucial in all areas of your relationship. Jeffries.
15 Check your expectations.
Finally, many modern relationships are reduced by high expectations. If you believe that your partner must be your best friend, lover, coparer, trading partner, etc., TSE actively recommends trying to delete part of this pressure by recognizing that they may not be for you everything moment.
By keeping your expectations under control and allowing your other half to be human and to make mistakes, you can promote an environment of love, understanding and deeper acceptance.
"Wait for perfection or constant happiness in a relationship opens the way for disappointment," said TSE. "Healthy relationships require efforts and patience. Recognizing that the ups and downs are normal help to maintain a balanced and satisfactory partnership."