How to improve your social skills at any age

Communication and connection effectively is one of the most important habits you can learn.


Strong social skills are the constituent elements of healthy relationships, paving the way for long -term links with others and even personal growth. Whether in the workplace, at home with family, or between friends , being able to communicate effectively with those of your daily life is a common need that we all share. That said, not everyone finds socialization with people is easy.

Of course, occasional annoying exchange or strange interaction is hardly a source of concern. But, if you find that you often have trouble talking to people, making friends or sailing in an office setting, it may be time to suppress your social skills. And the good news? You can improve your social skills at any age! Consider the expert contribution below to understand why being able to connect with others is so important, then follow the steps to improve your own skills in verbal and non-verbal communication.

In relation: 5 very effective conflict resolution strategies for doing work a breeze .

What are social skills?

A focus group meeting taking place in a room
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Social skills are a diverse set of tools that we use to communicate. Some of the most common and the most useful include "listening, conversation, empathy, smiling, development of friendships and conflict resolution," said Kasley Killam , MPH, specialist in the social sciences trained in Harvard and author of Art and science of connection . Understanding different social skills can help us identify our forces and our areas to improve.

Social well-being does not only concern communication, confidence and conflict management; It is also a question of creating limits that encourage these aspects. Search for University of Nebraska Omaha Starting that having good social well-being is essential to build emotional resilience.

Why the lack of social skills can have a negative impact

Whatever age you have, having good social skills can have a positive impact on your ability to communicate with others and open doors to great opportunities. On the other hand, the non-development of these skills can have negative consequences.

"Fighting with social skills can affect your ability to establish and maintain healthy relationships, which, in turn, weighs on physical, mental and social health," explains Killam.

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6 ways to improve your social skills

1. Practice active listening

A man listens to his partner speak as they sit together face to face on their couch at home.
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Active listening is the act of taking the time to Really Listen to what someone says and be fully present in the conversation while showing interest. This also involves being aware of your emotional reactions and avoiding distractions. It is an important social competence because it can help avoid misunderstandings, solve problems, strengthen trust and strengthen relationships.

"Take the time to listen to each word that someone says and try to put yourself in their place," advises Ernesto Lira de la Rosa , psychologist and media advisor for Hope Foundation for Depression Research . "You also want to pay attention to your non -verbal behaviors and make sure that you nod if you agree with something. It may be useful to maintain good visual contact with the other when they speak, as it communicates also . "

Think about it as a game, says Ben Bernstein , Phd, a Psychologist at Silver Hill Hospital . "Repeat the important part of what someone shared during a conversation and ask questions related to the subject of the subject to yourself."

2. Try conscious breathing

couple talking on a date night with wine
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Feeling uncomfortable in social circles is normal for many people, but conscious breathing can help by reducing your stress and increasing self -awareness. Focusing on breathing can also calm your nervous system and reduce your social anxiety.

"For some people, what obliges to have solid relationships is a short temperament or a tendency to leave conversations when they become too intense," explains Bernstein. "Practicing conscious breathing can help someone better tolerate their own discomfort in a conversation or a relationship, which can improve social skills."

3. Strengthen confidence

Confident Woman Looking in the Mirror
Arthur Bargan / Shutterstock

Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, but socialization can trigger feelings of doubt because it allows you to see things on which you may have to work. Lack of confidence often contributes to bad social skills, but there are ways to strengthen your confidence.

Steven Rosenberg , Phd, a Psychotherapist and behavior specialist , suggests trying the following steps before an event:

  • "Look in the mirror and say positive messages, like" it will be a big event, and you will have fun. ""
  • "Visualize yourself by being more social and out of the way. Imagine yourself being comfortable during the event and making no mistakes. When you imagine doing something, you actually repeat it."

In relation: How to make friends as an adult: 16 steps to follow .

4. Observe others in the conversation

Photo of a woman enjoying the outdoor dinner party with her family and friends.
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How someone reacts - verb and not verbally - when he is sending insightful messages to whom he is and how he feels. Paying attention to these clues can help you develop empathy and better understanding of someone.

"Start by noticing their non -verbal behaviors and see how people tend to reflect themselves during the interaction," said Lira de la Rosa.

"You can also pay attention to the frequency to which someone interrupts the other person, the types of questions he asks and the types of answers he gives himself."

5. Ask open questions

Dinner Party at Home with Friends
Singe Images / Shutterstock

Asking open questions is an effective way to put others at ease, to know more about someone and, above all, to build a solid relationship with work colleagues, classmates or new knowledge. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Open questions are different from closed questions that lead to" yes "or" no "answers," explains Lira de la Rosa. "For example, instead of asking:" Have you dinner last night? "You can say : "What did you have for dinner last night?" ""

These types of conversation starters can be empowering because they allow others to freely express their thoughts, their opinions and their ideas with you.

6. Find common ground

Two females walking out of a yoga class, talking and smiling
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According to Rosenberg, joining a group that shares your interests is a great way to strengthen social skills at any age.

It can be much easier to feel relaxed and comfortable with others when you have something in common. An interest as a love of films or having the same hobby Can make a difference when it comes to setting up a conversation. You can develop a strong connection and form a deep link.

"Whether it's a craft like knitting or a sport like baseball, being with people who share the same interest as you make socialization less intimidating because everyone in the group has something in common, namely activity "Explains Rosenberg.


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