9 signs your partner has serious confidence problems
Take note if they often use the expression "I thought you said ..."
Without trust In a relationship, your communication and your actions towards each other decompose - and once this happens, your romance can be difficult to revive. Of course, distrust can be caused by so many things, especially anxiety, attachment problems or trauma of a previous relationship. It can also manifest itself in different ways and eventually put unwanted stress on your relationship. To avoid this situation, we consulted therapists to discover the main indicators that your partner has confidence problems. Read the rest to find out what you need to search.
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1 They present an "unjustified jealousy".
Jealousy is always delicate in relationships, especially if it seems to appear out of the air without clear reason.
"If a romantic partner does nothing to provoke jealousy (for example, do not adopt flirtatious behavior), continuous displays of jealous behavior often signal problems of underlying confidence", " clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly , PHD, author of The joy of imperfect love ,, tell Better life.
According to Courtney Hubscher , LMHC, LCPC, NCC, Cognitivo-behavioral therapy , they can also become jealous of "harmless interactions" with others, including friends or colleagues.
"They often question your loyalty or your commitment," she adds.
2 They go through your phone or social media.
If your partner is struggling with confidence, he could feel an increased feeling of suspicion, which encourages them to violate certain aspects of your privacy.
Hubscher says that a partner with confidence problems could examine your text messages, telephone recordings, emails, direct messages or location data.
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3 They are emotionally unpredictable.
We have all these days when we feel emotional or irritable, but a partner with confidence problems will probably present emotional deregulation and coherent reactivity.
"Episodes of anger, irritability or fear can be a sign of confidence problems," says Manly. "When emotional episodes are connected - or triggered by - people of insecurity, the problems of confidence are at work."
She continues: "In fact, high levels of anger are a common defense mechanism which" protects "an individual against feelings of vulnerability - it is at the heart of the problems of confidence.
4 They need constant reassurance.
People with insecurity attachment style Often fight with confidence in relationships, underlines Manly. Consequently, they can request insurance or validation through a partner. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"A high need for affirmations of love and security [is another sign] of unresolved confidence problems," said Manly. "Unreliable partners - in particular those with high levels of anxiety - can seek a feeling of security by chronically asking a reassuring partner that they are loved, sought after or safe."
They may also be afraid of abandonment which leads to a hanging and hyper-dependence, adds Manly.
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5 They don't open.
While some partners with confidence problems might want to share everything with you, others can be emotionally closed .
"Honest communication can become difficult with partners fearing judgment or misunderstandings," said Hubscher.
A partner with Trust Issues could find it difficult to share his personal thoughts and feelings or to avoid discussing their past relationships and experiences, she explains.
6 They ask a lot of follow -up questions.
If your partner constantly prohibits you from questions about your fate, your knowledge and future plans, he could do it because he doesn't trust you or don't think you could cheat.
"For example, if you are with friends, you can meet" where were you? Who were you with? "When you go home," said Amanda Levison , a professional advisor approved at Neurofeedback & Counseling Center In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
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7 They try to catch you in contradictions.
Sometimes, after your partner asks you for their questioning line, he will try to catch you in a FIB.
"It is the partner who says things like:" I thought you came home directly from work, but who only takes 15 minutes. Where did you go? "" Say Elizabeth Brokamp , Phd, a Authorized professional advisor With private practice in Virginia.
"This can even extend to events or relationships of the past," explains Brokamp. "If your partner regularly starts sentences with: 'I thought you said ..." Be careful. "The fact that they hunt ways to lie to signals, they think there is something to find."
8 They feel uncomfortable when you socialize without them.
If an evening with friends puts your partner on the edge, it is probably because they do not trust you entirely.
"If your partner insists to be with you when you want to spend time with your friends, he may have trouble trusting you and [is wary of] what's going on when they are not there," said Approved mental health advisor Guarino Ginamarie .
She specifically recommends listening to statements like: "I trust you, but I don't trust them."
"[This implies] that your partner is struggling with fears that revolve around mistrust, even if they have no evidence that you are not reliable," explains Guarino.
9 They become restless when you do not immediately answer calls or SMS.
A double text or two is harmless, but if your partner becomes constantly upset when you do not answer it right away, you can have problems of confidence to solve.
"People who find it difficult to trust their partners tend to start quickly wondering and draw conclusions when they don't hear you right away," said Guarino. "These feelings and their behaviors that result from it and their anger are generally unreasonable and are an indicator that their anxiety and their distrust make them take conclusions, even if they know that you can be occupied or unavailable when they send you a message . "
In this case, try set reasonable limits And expectations concerning your digital communication and see how your partner reacts. Sometimes an honest cat is everything you need to put things on the right track.