The advantages and disadvantages of friends with advantages, according to experts in relation

There are a few things they want you to know before entering this relationship.


There are a few reasons why you might be interested in a friend-avantages relationship. Maybe the Configuration of the relationship You have been suggested by an existing or potential friend, or maybe you recommend someone in your life. Whatever the reason you are looking for the arrangement, there are a few things that relational experts want you to know. Continue to read to learn their best advice on how to do a relationship with friends with a better and the advantages and disadvantages of starting one in the first place. These relationships are different in the real life that you do not see in the movies, and you will want to listen!

In relation: What is a situation? Your modern dating guide .

What does it mean to be friends with advantages?

Friends with advantages are very similar to what it sounds: people who are friends with each other, but who also benefit from frequent or occasional intimate meetings. Because each relationship is different, there are a million ways of which this type of arrangement can operate - and none is better or worse than the other, unless the parties involved are set or respected by clear limits (more on these later!).

Friends with vs dating advantages: what is the difference?

The only way to put yourself on the same wavelength on the trajectory of your relationship is to have an open and honest conversation on this subject with your partner. However, by understanding most peoples, a relationship of friends with-the-basis is not attached-which means that you are not on the way to develop a monogamous or long-term relationship.

When you go out with someone, this relationship can turn into a long -term relationship, depending on how each person feels and what they are looking for from each other.

In relation: 5 subtle signs that someone finds you attractive .

Advantages of having a friend's relationship with-Benenits

female couple dancing in living room
Piksestock / Shutterstock

You can enjoy a low -pressure relationship.

Relationships should not be all or nothing. "Being attracted to someone and enjoying their business does not automatically make him a good candidate for life partnership," said Ally Iseman ,, Related coach and non-monoggy expert. "FWB Dynamics recognizes it and you allow a structure to take advantage of everything there is to take advantage of a connection without imposing the useless and unrealistic pressure of" the escalator "on what it may not be adapted. ""

You know exactly with whom you are involved.

This is the advantage of doing it with an existing boyfriend. "Having the availability of consistent sex with the familiarity and comfort of a close friend can feel much more satisfactory and safer than an endless rotary range of foreigners," explains Iseman.

You win from the company.

The company is another key advantage of being friends with the person with whom you are intimate. "It could be a good situation for someone who may not have the emotional bandwidth to make a more serious commitment because of the circumstances of current life or of its own emotional well-being," said Marissa Jaacobi , LCSW, founder of Complete circle psychotherapy .

You can ignore the first dates.

Finding someone you like - Even if you are not looking for anything serious - can cost you time and money. "A friend with benefits can help alleviate the unnecessary sexual pressure from all the first dates and / or help you blow up any vapor from unrelated meetings," explains Iseman.

You can explore your sexuality.

By not limiting yourself exclusively to a person, you can do an ethical exploration. "A situation of friends with-before to strengthen his sexual confidence and his understanding by exploring physical desires in a safe and mutually consensual environment," explains Kristie TSE , LMHC, founder of Discover mental health advice .

In relation: 5 huge red flags you are in a bounce relationship, say the therapists .

Disadvantages of having a relationship Amoche-Avec-Avantages

Cheating concept with unhappy couple – woman in bed while husband or boyfriend is texting
Okawa Photo / Shutterstock

The feelings are at stake.

Almost all the experts in the relationship with which we discussed raised the same concern about friends with advantages. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"People must be very, very honest with themselves if they want to operate this type of arrangement," said Suzannah Weiss ,, resident sexologist For Biirrd and author of Subjective: become a sexual subject . "If a person preferred to be in a relationship but is satisfied with a situation, one or the two people will probably be injured, especially if they allow their minds to deceive them by thinking that perhaps being friends with advantages is the first step towards a relationship. "

This could hinder your friendship.

If your FWB comes out of the rails, your real friendship can also be at stake.

"Even people who think that their friendship is simple will realize that when sex gets involved, many feelings are starting to occur and friendship is put to the test," said Weiss. "If you want to keep things simple and make sure that friendship lasts, I would recommend staying friends and finding someone with whom you are not already friends - like someone on a dating application - Become your friend with advantages. "

In this way, there is much less in play.

It could have an impact on the group of friends.

Your FWB can also be part of a larger group of friends, who could suffer disorders if the configuration fails. "The situations can be annoying in a group if something goes to the side with the two people," said psychotherapist Preston Herdt , Lmft.

Some members of the group may feel the need to take sides, or the general atmosphere could become sour if two friends no longer speak.

You can miss other relationships.

The effort involved in maintaining your friends with avant-benefit arrangements could prevent you from meeting others.

"The limits and clear limits must be defined to make sure that your time with your FWB does not reduce your dating time if you are looking to meet someone for a relationship with more depth and potential growth," explains ISEMAN.

You may feel a judgment of others.

Not everyone takes the relationships that go against the norm, and listening to noise can often be more difficult than you think.

"Pressures and judgments from external sources like other friends, family and society as a whole can do you and / or your FWB to wonder if it should be turned into something more than more than To check if this is something or not something you want both, "explains Iseman.

You potentially extend a break.

"Sometimes I see people separating and then becoming" friends with advantages "because saying goodbye feels too hard," said Weiss. "This prevents you from reviewing, moving on and becoming available for others because it seems to have always been out."

This is another situation where you must be honest with yourself about your intentions.

In relation: "Bring -Crumbing" is a toxic up -toxic encounter trend - how to spot it in your relationship .

How to make friends work with advantages for me

Shot of a young couple standing together and sharing an intimate moment at home
istock

Start with a real friendship.

This key element is sometimes forgotten: "For the Dynamics FWB succeeds and is mutually beneficial and positive experiences, the F is the key element - they must be real friends, with a real friendship, which holds mutual respect and The care of other well-being and also has and practices effective communication skills, "explains ISEMAN.

Set limits.

These are your most important tools in all relationships. "It is important to have clear limits and an exit plan before friendship becomes sexual, and this must be discussed in a respectful way so that everything is on the table and nothing is hidden," said Expert in relation and in rupture Angelika Koch . "It also allows the two people to understand what are the expectations."

Decide the type of friends with the advantages you are.

"Do you still have sex when you hang out? What are you doing other things together? What don't you do together? Do you have any other FWBs, and do you meet other FWBS? -You at events?

You will want to establish these things early; You can integrate them into your conversation on the limits.

Check with each other.

A single conversation is not enough to guide your whole relationship. "The two parties must regularly register on their feelings to ensure that the agreement is still suited to them," advises TSE. "Being honest on any change in emotions can prevent misunderstandings and resentment."

Break things if or when necessary.

Finally, you will have to recognize that your FWB is probably not a configuration for life. "The arrangement may have to end if it stops making itself for one or the other," said TSE. "Priority to respect and mutual care will help maintain the integrity of friendship and advantages."

Conclusion

To decide to start a relationship Amocé-Avec-Vantages is a very personal decision. You will have to be honest with yourself and your potential friend on the limits of your relationship. For more advice, visit Better life again soon.


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